- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
There has been a change in my outlook on weddings that I just can’t shake…and I thought maybe I could share here in hopes that others might take something away from what I’ve learned.
In the past two years or so, It would be safe to say that I’ve been to nearly 20 weddings including my own. I used to be that guest that oooohh’d and aaaahh’d at all of the cute little details and was so excited to for my wedding. But, the more and more weddings I attended, the more and more I became unhappy with them. It just seemed to me that brides spent such little time focusing on the more important aspects of the wedding…. like their husband to be, the actual marriage, the ceremony, and more and more on things that were more for the purposes of showing off or trying to be “different” or make their wedding so “them” in superficial ways.
I should probably preface this by saying that on some level, I was that bride. Yet, I can safely say that our wedding day was the best day of my life so far. Still, I can’t help but shake the feeling that I wish I hadn’t bought into the hype of trying to wow guests or think of ways to make our day “different”. At the end of the day, no one remembers your centerpieces, programs, or invitations. But people do remember the look that your groom had on his face as you walked down the aisle. People remember the lovely vows that you recited to each other. People remember a seamless and well thought out ceremony where you get to declare in front of everyone that you’re marrying that perfect person for you. As a bride, the best memories I have of the entire wedding planning process (two years for us) was the weekend that we spent at Engaged Encounters (weekend precana retreat) that focused on just our relationship and future marriage, and the day that we picked out our wedding bands.
So I guess just a suggestion to all of our lovely brides here to focus on what’s important…the union of you and your fiance…and don’t let all the other unimportant details ruin that.
And just so this post is more relatable, here are some of the wedding planning drama that i’ve experienced on my own or witnessed from others
– Seating arrangements: family members not being happy with where they are sitting. I stressed over this and got angry but at the end of the day, just place people where they want to sit. It’s really not that big of a deal
– Guestlist: We agonized over the guest list and who we should and shouldn’t. Bottom line is that if you want them there, invite them. Short on the budget? I would much rather have the people I want at the wedding and going with a cheaper venue or cutting an unimportant detail.
– Who to bring to tasting/meeting with venues: We argued over asking parents on both side. One didn’t want it to be too crowded at meetings…the other wanted everyone included. At the end of the day, how does it really hurt anyone to have your parents included in your special day?
– Getting angry with friends or bridesmaids over not being able to attend events like bachelorette or showers? It’s not worth it. Ruining friendships over weddings is just plain silly. Life is too short for this.
And generally, I’ve just seen way too many friendship or family drama surrounding weddings. But I honestly feel like there wouldn’t be as much of this drama if the bride and groom focused more on their relationship and less on the wedding day itself. Money is always a factor as well. Please please please…don’t go broke for your wedding. Don’t work yourself two three or four jobs so you can save for your dream wedding. No one on their death bed ever said that they wish they worked more…most people say they wished they had spent more time with loved ones or traveled.
Anyways, getting off the soap box now =)