Post wedding blues. :(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
25 posts
Newbee

I understand how you’re feeling, leaving home and getting married are huge life events which on their own are a big change, let alone both together.

When I left home it was to move in with my boyfriend, I was happy until I got to my new home when I cried, and carried on crying for the rest of the week!

Maybe spend some time back at your family’s home, take your husband with you or you could arrange to stay over for a few nights here and there to help with the transition.

I’ve been moved out for a year and a half and I try to go ‘home home’ to stay over about once every 2 months, and to go over for dinner at least once or twice a month.

Also it might be a good idea to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling.

Have you had to move far away from your family home? X

Post # 3
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

katiecat08:  

i felt the same as you after my wedding but you soon learn to adapt and love your new home / life

Post # 4
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Stevens Estate

I have experienced this type of home sickness too…when I went away to college. I couldn’t stop crying for weeks! I did end up adjusting though and it became one of the best experiences of my life. I guess college preped me for moving away for good when FI and I bought our home. Try these things …they helped me: 

Have stuff around your home that reminds you of ‘home home’…it helped that I had brought stuff like that with me…made my new place feel ‘homier'(sp?)

Keep regular contact with your family …when I did this I felt like they weren’t so far away.

Occupy yourself..keep busy busy busy! Seriously..sitting around made things worse. But keeping busy kept me sane.

Before you know it you’ll be in the routine of your new home life. Things will settle down and just feel normal again. Trust me..these feelings won’t last long.

Good luck, congrats, and I wish you the best!

Post # 5
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

First off, congratulations on getting married! I’m not married myself yet, but let me assure you the feelings of anxiety you’re getting about your new home are certainly not uncommon! Two months ago my SO and I moved into our new home after living at home for 25 years. I was miserable, just miserable! I cried all the time, missed my parents, missed my family home which I love so much, felt anxious all the time, cried uncontrollably and I wanted to move back home and sell our house (yep within 2 weeks of moving in). But after a few weeks, little by little we got more settled in. I had my parents over, his family over, thought about paint colours, gone furniture shopping, and I try really hard to be positive and mighty grateful that I’m lucky I can have such a lovely little home. 

My suggestions to you would be to keep visiting your family and have them over too. Paint if you can to make it feel more “yours” and hang up nice pictures or memories. Have friends over for lunch or dinner, and have date nights with your new hubby in your home. My SO and I also went interstate for a weekend on a little holiday, which I think did wonders for me because it was nice to come back to a nice place that is ours and just the 2 of us with our awesome cat.

It will just take time. I’ve been in my house almost 2 months now and I can finally happily say that I love it. I have turned a massive corner, going from crazily anxious and depressed, to content. I know I still need to find more happiness, but it’ll come with more time 🙂 Just be patient and you will settle in within a few weeks. Hope that helps. Take care of yourself and get lots of cuddles from your hubby! 

Post # 6
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

You just need some time. The old saying that the first year of marriage is the hardest rings true if you haven’t lived together before. That’s what you’re now experiencing. I think it’s natural to feel a bit of a letdown, especially if you were looking forward to your wedding.

I think you just need to throw yourself into something else. Were you neglecting your girlfriends while planning the wedding? Reconnect with them. Do you have hobbies? Get back into those. Distract yourself… watch funny movies, go on fun dates.. you must have had a life prior to wedding planning. Find it again!

Your family will always be there for you, so see them often to nurture those relationships.

I remember being sad when I moved out. I finished my degree, got a new job, and moved out on my own all in the same month! That was a lot of change. I soon adjusted, though. I guess you have hit adulthood… just in a different way than many people do it these days. It’ll be ok! And discuss this with your husband… I am sure that he either feels a similar way or he will be very understanding.

Change takes time!

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