Post # 1
My fiance and I are trying to decide the best way to say goodbye and thank you to our guests after our wedding and would like to host some kind of post-wedding (next morning) Sunday Brunch (informally). We have two options and I need some advice/opinions on which would be best:
Option 1) Hotel Room drop in — we have rented a large room with a social/seating area and could bring some coffee, juices, water, donuts, fruit for guests to “drop in”, say hello, grab a coffee and treat, and give a few hugs and kisses before they depart. This would be at our expense (roughly $500-600).
Option 2) Reserved Private Room for Breakfast/Brunch — we can reserve a private room in our hotel for free and guests can come down for brunch (at their own expense) and share a few more moments before departing. This would cost us nothing except for OUR brunch (we could possibly treat everyone to a mimosa or coffee).
Things to consider:
-we are paying for our own wedding 100% and our funds are tight
-my entire family is hours away and it would be a nice way to spend a little more time with them, and other hotel guests
-we aren’t sure if it’s inappropriate to say to hote guests “join us at 10:30am for brunch in the restaurant if you like, the cost is $23/person”
-what if too many people show up to the hotel room and they can’t fit? what if too few show up to the private brunch?
-if a coffee and a small snack (like a donut) sufficient? or will people like go eat breakfast/brunch anyhow?
My fiance thinks if we host anything (regardless of whether it’s formal or casual) that we should pay…
Post # 2
YellowDiamondBride: I agree with your FI. If you imply that you are hosting, then you are paying.
It’s difficult to come up with wording to say “We are going to be at ___ restaurant for breakfast between _and _ am. Feel free to join us but be aware that you are buying your own meal.”
There have been previous posts on this subject, hopefully someone will come up with the wording for you.
Post # 3
If you do small food, you may still have people wanting to go out to eat for a lunch/brunch, but I don’t think it is necessary for you to provide a full meal. I like option one the best, where people can just casualy wonder in and out. Allow a large amount of time, and you will get early risers coming early, and they will wonder out before you get the people that will be in thier room until the last possible moment.
With option 2, I think you can say something like “We are having breakfast at X place at Y time. Please feel free to join us.” Don’t talk about how you rented out a space, as that implies you are hosting. I would address it the same way you would address going out for a friends birthday where every one will go dutch.
Post # 4
Agreed. If you imply you’re hosting, it implies you pay. Could you have something at a relatives house? it would be cheaper to just have some fruit trays, veggies, maybe some small sandwiches, etc. That’s what we did. We didnt’ have a ton of people come. There were maybe around 30. We didn’t invite everyone though. The bridal party, close family and friends only. We didn’t serve alcohol but we had punch. It turned out okay.
If the weather is nice, you could have it outside in someone’s backyard.
Post # 5
Our wedding isn’t in the same city as where we or any close relatives live…so we would have to do it at the hotel either way. With the hotel room, we are allowed to bring in outside food – perhaps this is the best option.
What simple breakfast items would you recommend? Donuts? Croissants? Are yogurt and fruit trays too “difficult” to eat casually?
Post # 6
Donuts, baggles, and fruit. You get sweet, savory, and non-bread which are all easy to eat standing.
Post # 7
If you host you should pay. I like the informal drop in and think you can offer pastries, juice and coffee for much less than $600. Maybe not bill it as brunch though since you won’t have a seat for all guests anyway.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton
I’d do the smaller food/outside food option where guests can drop-in and say hi before they leave. In my experience, some guests want to hang out and will sit for a while, but others will oversleep or want to get on the road right away so they’ll just want a quick snack and the chance to say goodbye. If they want a full breakfast, they’ll end up paying for their own anyway and not having breakfast in a certain spot gives them some flexibility to find something on their own budget.
I think yogurt is easy to eat casually, but fruit trays could go either way – unless you have family and friends who are cool with everyone’s hands being in the food, you’ll need forks, plates, etc. Bananas, apples, or oranges might be better for a quick thing. Other breakfast items: munchkins, bagels, granola bars, mini-muffins.
Post # 9
I think in your case just saying ‘Feel free to drop by our hotel room any time between such and such times for some snacks and goodbyes.’ And then have fruit trays and maybe some pastries and juice and coffee. I don’t think you need to provide breakfast.
Post # 10
awesome, thanks everyone!
Post # 11
If you can afford it, for the love of God: RESTAURANT. Even get a friend or relative to play “host” for you. The day after your wedding you’ll likely not want to be bombarded with people in your space. With a restaurant, you can show whenever you’re ready. Because someone else will be greeting guests and showing people to their seats, the “party” can be in full swing when you get there. Then when you’re ready to leave, you can make a little speech, blow everyone a kiss and hit the road! Plus no clean up. One of the best moves I made for my wedding weekend, I have to say!
Post # 12
since you are willing to $500-$600 anywy, see what the hotel offers in that range.
we had a breakfast the next morning at the hotel. eggs, potatoes, bagels, fruits, danishes, etc for $12pp it was only wedding party, hotel guests, and a few other guests that we invited (not everyone).
it was very reasonable.
Post # 13
There are a lot of logistical nightmares with the first option. You are going to have to wake up early for the 2nd day in a row, following a long, long day and night.
You are going to have to prep all the snacks, set it all out, and clean up your room from your wedding night.
What will you do with perishable foods? Is there somewhere safe to store cheese, dips, yoghurt etc?
How will you get the large cutting knives for bagels?
Guests will stay as long as they feel like, do you feel like playing host in your own space for that length of time, then cleaning it up?
I would go for a restaurant because I value my time very much. But you have to pay if you are hosting. $23/pp is very expensive for a brunch. Is there another option? A diner in town? Or a place you could get something way cheaper?
If you are firm on not hosting a restaurant meal then the best you can do is spread via word of mouth that you are planning on being at XXXXXX place at 10 am, and wouldn’t mind other people dropping by if they too wanted to eat brunch. He who invites pay. So you have to not “invite” people.
Post # 14
We’re having a catered luncheon at our new house the day after the wedding. I would rent the room and have someone else bring the food. My in-laws are coming early and setting up/picking up all the food and my MOH is flying in early to help me pretty the house. It’s a drop-in type thing from 12-3. I’ll let you know how it goes! haha