Post # 1
Bees, are you hosting a post-wedding brunch? Do most people do this? If so, how many people are invited and who is paying?
I have never been to such a brunch, but have had a couple people now assume that this would be part of the festivities.
We are paying the entire wedding (including the rehearsal dinner) ourselves. We live in a tiny house and have big families, so a restaurant would be the only option and would be pretty pricey…while it’s a lovely idea and it would be nice to spend more time with relatives I rarely see, I am just feeling maxed out.
Post # 3
The only reason we did this was because the hotel most of our guests stayed at included breakfast.
Call me tacky, but it was great way to see everyone and I spent the morning going table to table catching up with relatives.
Post # 4
you could always phrase it like “for anybody who wants to join, we’ll be having brunch at X restaurant at around 11:00. they have a $34 menu that seems really good”
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s required by any means. We did breakfast with MIL’s family because that is what she insisted on – “that’s what we do for weddings”. That being said, she paid.
What I had originally wanted to do was a low-key brunch at my parent’s house with just the immediate family. We ended up kind of doing both though.
Post # 6
I would only give a formal (in print) invitation to people if brunch was being provided for them.
If you’d like to meet whoever is avaialble and go dutch, I think it’s best to spread that by word of mouth so that it’s more informal. Otherwise, people will judge.
Post # 7
@marilen: We had a post-wedding brunch at our house (same as the rehearsahl dinner/party) and we cooked and paid (though some family brought things like fruit salad). Cost us maybe $50 at Costco for the food.
Post # 8
@marilen: My parents threw one for my sister and her husband at their house, but I don’t know that we will be doing one. Definitely not required.
Since it’s a wedding-related event, it’s typically assumed that whoever is hosting pay for it. So, if you invite, you would pay.
You’re paying for your own wedding and rehearsal dinner, so I totally hear you on being maxed out. I’d just tell them there isn’t going to be a brunch, or let them know you’ll be going out to eat informally, but everyone is on their own, per bebero:
Post # 9
@marilen: it seems to be more and more common. I’ve been to several at the parents’ house and one at a restaurant. The restaurant one was just a specific set of out of town friends and was told to us word of mouth and we all went Dutch.
Post # 10
@marilen: We had it out at the in laws place, and they just set out the left overs and we invited anyone who wanted to come. it was technically the gift opening and not an actual brunch, so we didn’t care who came. We didn’t want to go ourselves, lol.
Post # 11
@megz06: My sister’s was technically the gift opening, too. So borrrrring to watch other people open gifts. Totally not subjecting anyone to watching us open any of ours!
Post # 12
My parents hosted a day-after brunch at their home. They paid for it. (Also, DH’s parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, and we split the wedding costs 3 ways between us and our parents).
ETA: We had a lot of OOT guests on my side, so it made sense to have the brunch at my folks’ house. We invited everyone (we had 100 guests), but I think about 35 came to brunch. It was drop-in, open house kind of thing–their house was on the way home from the venue/hotel for most of our guests.
Post # 13
We’re so cheap–our servers will be boxing up the same food from our buffet, including the desserts, and we will serve them the next day (supplemented by fresh salad) at our house for anyone who wishes to join us. So many guests from out of state/country that I feel we need to do something for them. Adding extra to our buffet for this hardly cost a thing (about $50 to serve around 40 people). Our caterer is also doing two boxed dinners for us b/c I’m convinced I won’t get a chance to eat at the reception.
If for some reason there is no dessert left over, we’ll make a cupcake & cookie run to our grocery store.
(The buffet food will be kept refriderated at the venue and at our home before serving).
Post # 14
I’m hosting the wedding brunch and cooking all of it!
The hotel apartment suite I am staying it has a formal dining room and a lot of lounge area, people will come up to our suite and there will be breakfast buffet style!
My friend also volunteered her club house for me to do the breakfast/brunch thing.
It’s not expensive at all.
Post # 15
@bebero: Also, +1. As a guest, if I was from out of town or was very close to the couple, I’d probably go to brunch and be happy to pay my own way.
Post # 16
This is one of those things I’d never heard of before coming to the Bee. My FI and I will not be doing this, since only a handful of guests are staying overnight someplace. I’ve actually never been to a wedding that had a post-wedding brunch (and I’ve probably been to at least 15-20 weddings in my life). .
If you decide to do one, I don’t think you need to invite all of your guests. I’ve heard of people doing this for just immediate family and the bridal party. You could keep it small. I do like @bebero’s phrasing above. It’s a nice extra, but it’s definitely not something you should feel pressured to pay for yourself.