(Closed) Post Wedding Depression?!?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Even good changes can be traumatic.  It will get better. I wish I had specific advice beyond just doing something.  As the Fly Lady says, shine your sink.  Even if you have dishes in it, take all the dirty dishes out of it, and make your sink really sparkle.  A small action like that can make you feel more together and accomplished, and it helps to get out of a rut.  Or take a shower.  Anything feels better than doing nothing.

We had new jobs and a move right afterwards, no honeymoon.  At the time, we complained about all the busy-ness and cleaning, but I’m glad that we had something to concentrate on, once all the wedding planning and thank you notes were over. 

Post # 5
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ElissaBee:  I am going through the exact same thing right now. We got married on June 30 and it was the best day of my life, followed by a wonderful three week honeymoon. Ever since we have been back, I can’t bring myself to do normal things. I even find myself going to bed with makeup on and not brushing my teeth. I like you, watch a lot of tv and just can’t seem to get it together. We lived together for over a year before we got married and nothing has changed, but I have this lack of motivation. I can’t put a finger on it, and it’s driving me crazy, but I can’t seem to find it in me to change it. I’m sorry you are feeling this way too but glad I am not the only one, I really thought I was crazy. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to vent or want support.

Post # 6
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve noticed that friends of mine that felt that way or other posters who got the post wedding blues typically lived together before married. Not saying anything is wrong with that, just an observation. I dunno since there is all this plannin and build up to this amazing wedding then a blissful honeymoon then it goes right back to their old life. I think its the fact that nothing feels much different that gets people down? Me and my friends that didn’t live together before never felt like this because married life was way more fun to us then the whole wedding planning process. I think what you need is something different. Something new in you and your husbands life that you didn’t have before. A new hobby or sport you guys can do together? Maybe work on re-doing a room in your house. It seems like youve go a lot of furbabies already otherwsie I’d suggest that:) Maybe schedule a date night once a week or start saving for your next vacation to give you something to look forward to? Wish I had better ideas but hope you get what I mean!

Post # 7
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ElissaBee:  Glad you’re feeling better, I’ve had a bit of this myself having got back form a 5 week honeymoon last week. I think it’s probably because I spent almost a year getting really excited about a single day, planning it a little each day with that excitement continuing on for so long, and now it’s all over the feeling of building excitement in my everyday life is gone. You no longer feel special as a “bride to be”. But I’ve been reminding myself each day that I am still special, I’m a new wife, I’m someone that someone else loves so much that they chose to make a life-long committment too, and that makes me feel better. But give yourself another long-term goal you can get excited about – plan a vacation, or a party, or something further down the track you want to achieve so you have something to continuously look forward to – set some goals you can get excited about each day you chip away at them. Not having a wedding to plan everyday and get excited about doesn’t mean you can plan other big things and keep yourself looking forward to the future..

I also found in the months coming up to the weddign I worked out several times a week, and the honeymoon I did nothing but eat, so having 5 weeks of no exericse DOES play a big part in your emotional state. Even when you feel like you have to force yourself off the sofa away from the cat & TV, do it and go for a walk- rope the new hubby in if you canl. Just walk leisurely to begin with to clear your head, a little exercise lifts your natural endorphin levels making you happier afterwards – you might struggle to get out to do it, but make sure you do exercise a little – you’ll feel so much better.

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