- 2 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Forgive me about this being a long post.. I will try to summarize everything.
Basically, we were married over 1 year ago (June 2013)… Everything went OK, but the aftermath of our wedding has been a disaster, and it still haunts me to this day. Here’s the first part:
My husband’s parents are divorced. They have been friends and gotten along very well for my husband’s entire life. My father-in-law offered and paid for our rehearsal dinner. He then asked my mother-in-law to chip in, but she refused and said she “had no money.” However, my FIL continued to ask her to pay, and even sent her bills in the mail. This created a huge conflict and my MIL was very insulted and eventually cut him off and stopped speaking to him and his wife (my hubby’s stepmom). Then…. as time went on after our wedding, other family members from my father-in-law’s side stopped talking to my hubby’s mother, and now there’s a huge divide between the two sides of his family. When we go to visit them (they live across the country), there is A LOT of tension, and we have to decide whose house to stay at, and keep all activities separate. If we stay at one side’s house longer than the other, there is anger and conflict. I hate visiting them now, because there is so much negativity. .The worst part is that I feel partially responsible. Our wedding was the catalyst for my husband’s family hating each other. I can’t live with the guilt of it… what do I do? Not to mention that my mother-in-law became really nasty and demanding and started attacking me for not having the bridal shower the day before the wedding so SHE could come, and for making suggestions about the color of her outfit (so that she would match the wedding colors, since she wanted that). I don’t even get along with her very well now, either. She showed her true colors before and during the wedding.. she sabotaged our father-daughter dance because she was angry, so she jumped in front of us with my hubby and danced… There were just so many dysfunctional things that happened.
Here’s the other part: My bridesmaids/friends.. on my wedding day, my bridesmaids went out to breakfast (without me) and then spent the day at the beach (we got married in Cape Cod). Instead of helping me get ready and spending the day with me, they ditched me! I was very hurt. Luckily, my cousin/MOH was there for me, and she spent time with me. But my other 3 “close” friends decided to spend the day at the beach. Also, they complained the entire time that there was “no food” at the rental house we were staying in, and how the house was “full of bugs”, because one of them left the window OPEN with the lights on and some gnats got in… they spent the whole time complaining, rather than helping me and enjoying the experience. Not to mention, my two best friends from college/bridesmaids didn’t plan me a bachelorette party like they promised, didn’t offer to pay for my dinner/drinks at the party (no one did, actually), and didn’t show up to my bridal shower. They pretty much didn’t do anything….I still regret that I chose them as bridesmaids to this day. I’m not as close to them as I was before the wedding, either.. but we are still friends. They were as selfish and rude as it gets. I can’t stand to think about it.
When I look at our wedding photos, instead of feeling joy, I feel frustrated, sad, and hurt. My husband’s family hates each other now because of our wedding, I can’t believe I let my own friends treat me that way, and my parents took control over the whole wedding and wouldn’t let us have the wedding we wanted. Originally, we wanted to elope, but our families wouldn’t let us… At least I’m glad I married my husband. And we had an amazing honeymoon that we planned and paid for ourselves.. that was worth it. But how do I deal with the guilt and hurt that I still carry from our wedding? I just can’t seem to get over some of the things that happened..