Post wedding reflections on dress regret!

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

mrsgroomzilla:  I’m sorry you are dealing with these regrets 🙁 You look amazing in the dress you ended up wearing. It looks super high end/designer and you honestly look stunning. I don’t normally like mermaid etc. style gowns, but wow. But if you don’t feel comfortable in something and feel that it isn’t ‘you’ I understand that it doesn’t matter what others think.  I think the passage of time will lessen the blow somewhat.

 

I will say that I have never known a husband to be disappointed when his bride walked down the aisle. It makes me sad that you were actually worried about your husband making an angry face if you arrived in a dress that he didn’t ‘approve’ of..

Post # 3
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m less worried that the dress you picked ended up being a regret (you looked super stunning by the way), and more worried that your husband could be frowning on your dress, or that he has unrealistic expectations of a wedding generously funded by your parents, no matter what the budget is.

I know you want to put it behind you, but these are huge red flags to me. Problems/tensions that come up in the wedding planning can highlight much bigger control/entitlement issues beneath. They will almost certainly come up again in the future. I wouldn’t just “forget” it. You sound like a sweet person, and your post makes me sad for you.

Post # 4
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Any of these dresses would have been lovely, and I’m sorry you are unhappy with the dress you chose. I’m worried that you felt you had to choose a dress to please your husband so that he didn’t ‘make an angry face’…. I wish that your husband could have found joy in the wedding planning process in the knowledge that he was marrying you, instead of being upset about the wedding not being to his standards…

Post # 5
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

Thank you for posting this. It is very helpful as I am grappling with a similar issue. 🙁

sorry you are still having regrets.

Post # 8
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

mrsgroomzilla:  I’m so sorry you are having regrets. I know this has already been said, but I have to reiterate……you look absolutely STUNNING in that dress! I imagine ot probably wasn’t comfortable or practical, but your pics look amazing(I wouldn’t feel embarassed about having worn it in church….its very classy and pretty modest). 

When rubber meets the road, the dress is just one small detail of a very important celebration.

Post # 9
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

busyinboston:  +100000.

OP, I think the problem started when you incorporated your husband in any of the dress decisions. Or more bluntly, when he felt the need to foolishly share his opinion with an obviously confused bride. If there is blame to go around, I will gladly give him the lion’s share.

And OMFG, I HATE when guys rate bridal looks as “hot”. If that word passes through FI’s lips on our wedding day, I’m buying him a dictionary and a tome of love poems to learn better on how to compliment!

What’s done is done. Your reflections will be helpful to other brides torn between dresses. If a little wisdom has come out of this, then all the better, I say.

Post # 10
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

mrsgroomzilla:  Sorry you’re feeling this way, hope you will get past it soon and be able to enjoy your pictures. FWIW dress one was my favourite by miles, you should have gone with it! DH and I agreed from the very start that the dress was my choice and he didn’t want anything to do with it. It’s your wedding day, your DH is going to think you’re beautiful whatever you wear.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m genuinely curious, not being snarky. If your DH was disappointed with the wedding planning because your parents were paying, but you both have well paid jobs, why didn’t he make up the budget with his own money to make it more like the standard he wanted? My parents very generously paid for most of our wedding, but my DH paid for extra things that he wanted that he didn’t think was reasonable to include in the overall budget ue. accommodation for his friends , expensive wine etc.

Post # 11
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Hi lovely. I’m so sorry you have regrets but in my petsonal opinion you looked sensational in your dress it was my favourite of all 3!! X

Post # 12
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you absolutely made the right choice for your wedding gown. Unfortunately, it sometimes happens that they aren’t as comfortable being worn over many hours. Mine was the same way, but I still wouldn’t have changed it!

I also agree with a PP about him making it more of what he wanted and contributing or paying for it all. Why didn’t he?

The end result is that you’re married, and I hope over time you’ll realize that it was just a dress.

Post # 13
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t know if this would make you feel better, but I would absolutely describe your dress as simple, classic, and modest. It looks NOTHING like the many mermaids on “Say Yes to the Dress” that are super bedazzled, ruffled, and blinged. Is it Romona Keveza? To me, it is just more of a modern take on simple and classic, whereas the other dresses you liked were a traditional take.

What I don’t understand is why, if your husband had expectations for your wedding and a good-paying job, couldn’t he chip in to get the budget he wanted? Let me be honest–the very fact that you bought that dress tells me that your budget was not paltry, just not up to his standards. It is unfair for him to expect your parents to meet his demands. As many other PP have said, that, to me, is the big concern here. I would have a serious conversation–or even counseling–about your respective views on money. I would personally be put aback by someone who viewed a wedding as a “keeping up with the Joneses” kind of affair (even though I know many people do).

Post # 14
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I just want to add–if he was a girl, yes, I would still blame him. Most of the women here cannot have every aspect of their dream wedding–some can’t get any. Part of being an adult and planning a wedding is being reasonable about budget. If I threw a fit every time I didn’t get my “dream wedding,” I would be ashamed of myself.

Post # 15
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

WOW, is that Mark Zunino? That’s my absolute dream dress, and you actually look better in it than the stock photos, please don’t think you could have done better! I think you look amazing in all of the dresses you posted and your husband would have been lucky to see you in any of them(although the one you wore is definitely my favourite).

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