- 3 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
Hi Bees –
I wanted to share my post wedding refelctions on dress regret with the hopes that some bee out there might find it helpful. For me the whole dress regret thing snowballed into a big disaster that ended in me buying the high end designer dress that I thought was the most beautiful dress in the world. I’ve been married for a few months now and although my wedding turned out perfectly, my husband is wonderful everything is great but I HATE my wedding dress. I try not to think about it and avoid looking at wedding photos.
Dress A: Went shopping with my mom in Florida – found a beautiful dress (dress A), almost bought it on the spot but we decided it was too expensive so we waited. The bridal salon also didn’t allow photos which made me more hesitant to buy.
Dress 1: Then we raised the budget to a little more than the cost of dress A and went shopping in NYC. We found dress 1 and fell in love, sent photos to my grandmother and she loved it too – but it was out of out budget by just a little so we kept looking. After visiting a lot more shops we decided to increase our dress budget again and I decided I would go back on my own and buy dress 1. I was very happy, I got a feeling, but how can you really be sure that it was “that feeling”?
Dress 1 pictured below with and without lace bolero:
I told Mr. GZ about Dress 1 and he didn’t like the sounds of it. I didn’t want him to make his angry face when I walked down the aisle in a dress he hated so I showed him a photo thinking he would say it was pretty and I would be able to relax – still unentusiastic so I started getting nervous. The wedding planning had been so hard – our budget was much lower than he would have liked (my parents paid for the wedding) and every element of the wedding seemed to dissapoint him. He said some pretty hurtful things and I thought that our relationship would be over if the wedding didn’t live up to his unrealistically high standards. The funny thing is, he doesn’t remember any of that! I’m trying to forget that part too, no one’s perfect 😉
Dress 3: I decided to do some shopping on my own and found Dress 3, a high end designer dress, the sales woman was so sweet and supportive and I really got “that feeling” or maybe I was just relaxed and having fun because I was playing dress up and trying on a dress I would never ever dream of buying. It was a totally gorgeous dress and I loved it for it’s design but I didn’t love it for my wedding dress if that makes sense…
Dress 3 pictured below:
Finally I decided I would buy dress 1 and I decided to take Mr. GZ with me because I thought he would love the dress once he saw it in person.
He didnt like it. He liked dress 2 better – which had been the runner up when I went shopping with my mom. So that was that – we bought dress 2 because it made me look “hot”
(Looking hot in dress 2 below)
Dress 2 was beautiful but I worried that I’d chosen too fast and that it wasnt delicate or flowy or soft enough. I was pretty unhappy. So then I thought back to dress 3 that had cost 2x the price of dress 1 or dress 2 and decided that would be the dress that would make my husbandless dissapointed and would make my wedding seem more elegant, it was a very pretty dress but it wasn’t me, it wasn’t meaningful and it was a waste of money. I went from unhappy to miserable when I cancelled dress 2 then bought dress 3.
My parents couldnt hide their dissapointment – they didnt like dress 3. And I didn’t either – I’d said I would never wear a “big” dress, or a strapless dress, or a mermaid dress about 100000 times before I bought this one. It was a dress I would have liked to model but not one that I wanted to get married in. When other girls got married in simmilar dresses I had always told myself that I would never wear something like that – I would choose something simple, classic, modest and not too fussy. I tried to tell myself that I would love it when it arrived and felt a little hopeful. Then the dress came in the mail. It was huge and fussy, it wasnt simple, classic or modest – , it was too revealing and I knew my parents would hate it. It was also 10% of my annual income. Everyone told me how pretty and elegant it was but at my wedding it didnt stay up as well as I wanted and was impractical and uncomfortable.
It was the most beautiful dress in the world but it wasn’t me and it didn’t have any meaning and I was embarassed to wear it in church and embarassed at the thought of having wasted so much money. I missed out on choosing a dress with my mom which would have been so special. After the wedding my husband wasn’t mad or dissapointed at all and I don’t think that wearing a dress that he didn’t love would have destined our marriage for failure (though you never know…) – on the other hand, he probably would have been happier not dealing with me stressing out over the dress for months.
Hopefully this is helpful and doesn’t cause any extra anxiety. I think we all at some point imagine that a $$$$$ fairy tale dress would make for a perfect wedding, but for me the opposite was true.
- This topic was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by mrsgroomzilla.