Post # 1
I hope all you bees made it through your Thanksgiving holiday without wanting to pull your hair out, but in case anyone had a less-than-great time yesterday, join me in a collective rant!
I hate to be the first to start this off, but I am sooooo frustrated I just have to get it off my chest. So, as I mentioned in the earlier Thanksgiving thread, I was all ready to see the fam and I wasn’t nervous at all to hear them ask SO and i about engagement like they always do. I was actually LOOKING FORWARD to them asking and putting a little pressure on SO. But my worst fears came true: No one asked anything. My grandfather who ALWAYS asks us when the wedding is gave me a hug, then just looked down at my hand and sighed, and then walked away. My relatives have given up. Meanwhile, my cousin was there with her new fiancé (whom she’s been dating for less than a year) and everyone was ooohing and ahhing over her ring.
Adding salt to the wound was SO, who LITERALLY spent the whole day talking about how he needed to contact so-and-so and see what kind of price he can get on some big mud tires for his truck, and all these great deals that he’s seen for LCD tvs this week. He went outside and talked with my dad for a while, just the two of them, and I got really excited! But later he brought up their conversation and when I asked what they talked about his answer was “tvs and stuff”.
Even when we got home he couldn’t stop shopping on his computer and looking at the tvs and the xboxs, and telling me about all the ‘awesome prices’
I was soooooo pissed off last night. For someone who supposedly wants to ask me to marry him soooooo badly, saving for a ring doesn’t seem to be a huge priority for him. I seriously wish I could open his head and see what he’s thinking. I mean, I thought we had a really good discussion about the whole money/engagement/ring thing a few weeks ago, and for like a week afterward he acted like it was really important to him. We pointed out some rings to one another that we liked in some brochures and he even did some Internet ring browsing (it was for all of like 5 minutes, but even so it was exciting to see him looking). Now he’s right back to where he was before and it’s back to driving me crazy. Am I going to have to start saving up for my own d*mn ring??? Wtf is wrong with my boyfriend!?
Anyway, sooooooooooo how was everyone else’s Thanksgiving??
Post # 3
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
I live in Canada, so I don’t exactly have a Thanksgiving rant, but I do feel your pain.
My boyfriend keeps buying expensive toys too, and he’s even planned a guys trip away in February, which makes me feel like he’s not as serious about getting engaged as I previously thought.
I also have finished all of his Christmas shopping and paid close attention to all the things he has been hinting for. Last night he says “I still have no idea what you want”. HA! Ridiculous.
I’m definitely feeling some bitterness this week.
I truly hope that your engagement wishes come true soon. Who knows, maybe he did say something to your dad about it, inbetween discussing electronics and just wanted to keep it a secret.
Oh, and I totally get your feelings about the family bringing up the issue. Mine have stopped mentioning it, but at the same times say things to my SO and I like “you know, when I was your age I was already married”. The last time those words were uttered I replied snarkily with “I’ll probably be old and grey when it’s my turn”. SO gave me the look of death. LOL
Post # 4
I read a quote in a magazine the other day, but I can’t remember it word-by-word. The guy said something like “Don’t expect a ring each big holiday or special occasion. Guys feel pressured already so when it comes to these, they freak out big time.”
Post # 5
My Thanksgiving dinner itself wasn’t too bad. Just me, dad, and dad’s SO, and my dad is probably the LAST person I’d ever expect pressure from. He’s not really “into” marriage (he’s had 3 failed ones) so it didn’t come up at all.
Boyfriend or Best Friend only made me sad b/c he didn’t really seem to care that I wasn’t with him. He was more upset that all the members of “his” generation didn’t show up to the big family dinner; they were all with their spouses/SOs. Some of them used to leave early/show up late, but this year they all bagged it completely. Boyfriend or Best Friend was pretty sad thinking that this is going to be the new trend and the big family parties are ending. I pointed out that, someday, we’ll have to split holidays. His responce? “Well, I’ll always go to all of my parties. I don’t like it when people show up late or leave early, I’ll always be there for all of it. And then I can go to your family things afterward. I mean, we live together, we see each other all the time.” …… 😐
Post # 6
@Rouquine: I think we’ve read the same magazine, ’cause I know I’ve read that before somewhere! 🙂
I definitely didn’t expect to be given a ring yesterday, in fact NO holiday has ever been a time that I have strongly expected a proposal in general (my SO has never come off to me as being a holiday-proposal-guy). My problem is that he keeps lying to me and our friends saying that he wants to ask me to marry him but he doesn’t “have the money”, but he obviously has the money he just doesn’t want to save it for a ring. How much longer does he expect me to just wait around while he dangles a proposal in front of my face? I don’t care if it’s holiday, or my birthday, or just a Sunday while we are laying around in our pajamas, but he better freakin propose before he buys this new tv or buys any more sh*t for his truck!
Post # 7
@UsagiTsukino: that’s a bummer 🙁 He doesn’t seem to quite get it. Are your two families pretty far apart? If you guys were all closer at least you would have the possibility of a joint thanksgiving in the future when you got married
Post # 8
@MisfitPrincess: okay… I SOOOOO understand the “shit for the truck” thing… My SO has been “fixing” up his car for the last two years. He just bought new wheels 5 months ago and are now getting custom wheels made. :/ boys and their toys. He also was looking at all the “good deals” online last night as well. Ugh.
I know the proposal isn’t happening for a bit, next month- supposedly. But the spending money thing is grating on me. We had a discussion about it a couple days ago… and I know he’s not going into debt but grrrrrr… it’s irritating.
Post # 9
@MisfitPrincess: It was in Glamour. I know I’m totally off on what he said, but it’s basically the same thing.
Post # 10
@MisfitPrincess: Yeah, I think law school has stalled some of this a bit; he’s still in “college mode”, where you stay with your folks during all of winter and summer break.
My dad and his parents only live about 20 mins apart, its even a really easy drive between the two. Which is why I hop between them for Christmas, usually. My mom, on the other hand, lives about as far away as one possibly could while still being in the same state, so seeing her is a bit more of a trip. I have to block out at least 3 consecutive days for a visit, which is utterly impossible for a law student to do, so Boyfriend or Best Friend hasn’t gone with me since she moved there.
Post # 11
grandfather…..just looked down at my hand and sighed, and then walked away.
im sorry bUt i gotta admit to laughing a bit at this part
Post # 12
My Thanksgiving rant is much less frustrating and more embarrassing. FI’s grandma asked me if we use “protection.” Ummm awkward much?
Post # 13
Wow this sounds really frustrating! I would have felt the same way. At the same time, even if your boyfriend and your dad were having a conversation about a potential proposal, he might not have disclosed that information to you! So don’t give up hope!
My Thanksgiving was actually pretty good! My boyfriend spent the holiday with me and my family who flew in from out of town. We took a tour of some old mansions and my stepmom was asking how much it would cost to rent one for a wedding. It has me excited that they will be chipping in when my boyfriend does finally propose. 🙂
Post # 14
@eloping: don’t worry, I thought it was a little funny too, in an ‘FML’ sort of way 🙂
@CarolinaCola: OMG!! That is sooooooo embarrassing! What was she thinking?? I don’t feel quite as bad about my day anymore, lol!
@shirasagi: you’re right, I really have no idea, so I can keep a little hope in the back of my head. SO did tell me today that when they were talking my dad said he wants to get my mom a new tv for Christmas, and wants him to go along with him to lend his expertise. I should tell my dad to have a talk with SO and swing him by a jewelry store while they are out, hehe 😀
Post # 15
My FI’s parents came over to my parents house for a joint thanksgiving..it was weird for me. Im not a huge fan of them anyway.
After dinner, his mom kept bringing up displaying her pictures at our wedding which I already told her that I DID NOT want to do. Finally, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and just didnt come back to the table because I couldnt handle it anymore.
Post # 16
btw, as we dont have thanksgiving down here my thursday rant is my $1250 dentist bill – what i could have done with that money elsewhere 🙁
only good thing that came from it was i was ordered to eat icecream for dinner 🙂