Post # 1
Am I correct in thinking i need to send a stamped self addressed envelope for the RSVP cards? FI thinks i dont need to but if im expecting people to send something back to me i think its polite to pay for the postage.
i have bought the stamps anyway along with the large letter stamps i need for the actual invites…why is postage so expensive and the UK system so comfusing!!
Post # 3
You do have to put a stamp on those RSVP cards, even tho it costs a fortune!
In this modern world, we should really figure out a better way!
Post # 4
Formal etiquette holds that your guests should know to write a prompt reply to you, on their own stationery, addressing their own envelope to you, and using their own stamp. So your fiance is correct, but in that case you would not send the card, either. Instead, you simply write “R.s.v.p.” or “The favour of a reply is requested” in the lower left corner of the invitation. If the replies are to be sent to a different address than the hostess’s — for example, if they are to be sent to her social secretary, the address also may be written in that corner.
By the nineteen-fifties it became quite common to use a phone number instead of an address under the “R.s.v.p.” line — so I don’t know about this modern world, but in the world of sixty years ago we really had figured out another way. The most obvious modern adaptation would be to write an email address or website under the R.s.v.p. line. Traditionalists would still have the option of replying through the Royal Mail: it is pretty hard to control us in a world where stamp and stationery suppliers can be found on every highstreet.
Post # 5
@aspasia475: thats for the info.
Initially i just had our wedding website details on the invitation with our address written below and simply wrote a note to say to reply via the website or at the address below but i realised that i needed their menu choices too which is why i have now included the RSVP cards.
So if i hadnt included the cards, i would have been ok not to include a SAE. but as i have included the cards i am right to include the SAE?
Post # 6
@ChocolateLime: Yes, I am afraid that if you decide to use the cards, your guests will also have the expectation of receiving the stamped envelopes. After all, the cards will not be sized to fit their own envelopes as their personal stationery would, and the expectation is that those envelopes will be addressed and stamped.
You could of course still leave the cards out. Time was even writing the “R.s.v.p.” was considered a little dodgy because polite people weren’t supposed to need the reminder — they just know to reply promptly to any invitation. Nowadays I am afraid that would be wishful thinking. You could of course write the little R.s.v.p. onto the invitation corner by hand in black ink, or if the paper is not too stiff and your printer is not too recalcitrant run them through your printer to over-print R.s.v.p. onto the corner. But I am afraid it would stand out as a result and look rather pointed. And as you say, you need to collect their menu choices.
Much as I despise reply cards, since you already have them and already have the envelopes and postage, they may be your better option.
Post # 7
@ChocolateLime: You’re supposed to include a SASE. It gets expensive but that’s the polite way to do it.
Post # 8
Yeah, you have to put postage on them. If you think people don’t send them back WITH postage (god people suck at sending things back) they REALLY can’t manage it if they have to be the ones to put the stupid postage on the envelope!
Post # 9
@ChocolateLime: You should provide postage. For me it’s not about paying to 40 cents (I’ve been out of the United States for a long time… what the hell does a stamp cost anyway?), but about actually having to go out and get stamps if there aren’t any lying around the house.
Post # 10
Yes you need to include postage. I have friends that are missionaries and they send me lettters asking for money. If they don’t send an envelope with a stamp they don’t get anything from me. I am also a college kid so I don’t have stamps lying around and I am not going to go by 20 so I can mail you one letter.
Post # 11
In Australia it’s actually common to not have an RSVP card and jsut provide a phone number or email address. Well the 3 weddings i’ve been invited to have anyway! None have been extremely formal affairs so perhaps thats why. We will just put my mobile number on our invitation – but we’re only having 50 guests who are all close friends and family.