- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Not sure if this is the best place to post this; if it’s not, if someone knows how and where to move it, that would be fantastic.
I post on the Bee forums all the time under a different name, but because of the nature of this post, I figure it’s better to conceal my usual screenname.
It’s not a “parenting” issue in that I’m just the childcare provider, and not the parent themself. However, lately I’ve been growing concerned with the parenting habits of a mom whose child I care for regularly, and I’m not really sure what I should be doing, if anything.
The background story is this: The child is around two years old and is a total sweetheart. For the most part, the mother has been a great parent, although lately I find myself questioning some of her methods. She is moving out of her current apartment in about a month or so, and the new apartment she finds will be her third apartment in just shy of 6 months (I know she was evicted from her previous place, but not the circumstances- and frankly, it’s not my place to know). I know too that’s she’s been in a couple of off-and-on relationships, and she has told me that this is causing some separation anxiety for the little one, because the child is constantly seeing the men in his mother’s life up and leave. Again, her love life is none of my business, though I feel bad that the child is getting anxious though.
These are the trends I’ve been noticing that are causing me to lose sleep though: The last few times he’s been dropped off with me, the child’s been in pretty rough shape. The little one’s had blisters all over their little feet, because the mothers been bringing the child to me in rubber boots with no socks when it’s not raining and it’s hot outside- so naturally, when the child’s feet sweat they rub and cause the blisters (and stink, oh my!). The child’s clothes are also too small, and it limits the little one’s ability to move and the child complains they are hurting.
The past couple of times that the child has come over, they’ve been in such a mess that they literally had to go straight into the bathtub to get cleaned up properly (and there has been some engrained dirt around the neck etc, but kids will be kids, so I didn’t think much of that). Well, that when I noticed that the child is covered in bite marks. The mother eventually said that the bites are coming from her friend’s child, and that the two kids don’t get along. Again, I realize kids bit, but it seems like the little one has a lot of them all over the place, and that it’s not really being addressed because the child continues to get them and has gotten aggressive and started biting himself.
Also, the last few times that I’ve dropped him back off at the mother’s house, she has met me and the child outside. I later found out from the child’s grandmother that she cannot go in the house either, because the mother said it’s too dirty and needs a good cleaning.
I don’t know, maybe I’m just overreacting, but it just seems like things have gone downhill since a few months ago and it’s had me really worried about the child. As a childcare provider I know I’m a mandated reporter if things look odd, but I just can’t make sense of this situation. I mean, CPS investigations are not small matters, and I don’t know if it would even be necessary for something like this. I’ve never been in/seen this situation before. I don’t know, is this normal? Should I be getting involved? Am I overreacting?
I’d appreciate any feedback whatsoever