Post # 1
Here is the background- My FSIL had her baby- it was a scheduled C-section so we knew the date and time. It was a C-section because they are worried the baby will have some health issues. As the day goes on and we don’t hear anything, we start worrying about her and the baby. Her C-section was 12 hours ago- still nothing from the new mom or dad. So I check FB… yup she posted a couple of pictures on FB hours ago- no details like height and weight or even that mom and baby are okay- just 2 pictures. We don’t even know if the baby is healthy or not. And then I see that some of her friends already went to the hospital to meet the baby and they posted more pictures of them with the baby. My FI (brother of new mom and new uncle) doesn’t even have FB (his sister knows that), so the only news he got was what I could tell him from FB.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I think you should tell close families about the birth of your child before you post stuff on your facebook. I get that facebook is easy and everyone wants an update, but it seems wrong to me. I told close family and friends about our engagement before I posted it on facebook- how is this different? I don’t care that she didn’t call or text me, but why couldn’t she (or someone) call or text her only brother? How long does that really take? And it’s not like it JUST happened, it’s just after 12 hours since her c-section and still nothing. We are out of state and wanted to send flowers, but I don’t know what hospital they are at so we can’t even do that. I understand that she is exhausted, adjusting to motherhood and may need space, but if she is having friends as visitors I think she should be able to send her brother a text message. I don’t have kids and I obviously have never given birth but my sister and close friends have let me know about their babies before I saw it on facebook. Should I be more understanding? Is a global FB announcement the new normal?
Post # 2
That is bizarre. I am all for posting happy news on Facebook, but definitely not before you have told immediate family! So weird!!
Post # 3
I think it’s a faux pas, but I also think you shouldn’t get upset about it. In the end it’s her birth and her decision how to announce it.
I’m wondering if her husband posted it, because I was in no mood to do anything for 12 (and more) hours after my C-sections, other than sleep and look after baby. DH looked after all the announcements. (Though this was pre-facebook).
Post # 4
I think its a bit bad to post it ebfore telling family, and I wouldn’t go that route, but like assiemum1248 said…it’s her decision on how she wants to announce it, and I can’t imagine doing it myself after giving birth, so I kind of think maybe her husband did it for her.
Post # 5
GeekChic: Thanks- I totally agree- I just didn’t know if it was normal or a regional thing.
aussiemum1248: megz06: Thanks ladies- I get that it’s her choice- I definitely wouldn’t go that route. It just doesn’t give me a very good impression of her or her priorities. Maybe her husband did it, but it’s been almost a full 24 hours now and still nothing. Though someone added more pictures on her Facebook account this morning and liked a bunch of comments.
We haven’t congratulated them yet- FI doesn’t want to say anything until he hears from his sister. It’s just awkward now. Any advice on how to handle it?
Post # 6
HeartsandSparkles: I’ll be honest, even though I said it is their decision, if my brother came back to me and finally told me, I’d probably have a response locked and loaded for him. The old, “I’m really disappointed I had to find out from Facebook about my nephew/neice” would be appropriate. I would approach it from a place of disappointment and hurt rather than anger or displeasure.
Post # 7
FB is not the new normal. A FB announcement does not replace telling your family and close friends important news. However, get over what she and her husband did and what your brothers parents did. No one reached out to you all and said mom & baby are fine. Did you call? Then, no one picked up the phone either. Don’t put this all on the woman who just gave birth.
Post # 8
megz06: that response would make me mad, who are you brother and SIL to be dissappointed in my action? Get over yourselves?! This age of needing to know things first is crap.
OP, when they finally tell you, personally, just say “great, I saw the pics you poated on FB and he/she is gorgeous!”
Post # 9
CurlyCue: To each their own 🙂
Post # 10
I’d say it’s THEIR baby and the situation is not about you so how about you cut her a break and quit making their happy time about you and your displeasure over how they chose to announce?
Post # 11
HeartsandSparkles: I do not have children yet, but I couldn’t imagine not sending out a text to all immediate family members when that time comes. i also would be really surprised if my brother and sil didn’t call or text me on the day they knew I was having a csextion to see how I was doing… Phones work both ways in my opinion. If they don’t have that kind of relationship then I can maybe see how it slipped her mind.
Post # 12
HeartsandSparkles: girl, stop.
you said, “I told close family and friends about our engagement before I posted it on facebook- how is this different?”
she just gave birth.
you’re sitting there admiring your sparkler while fully dressed and fully rested. she just gave birth and she’s under meds, i’m sure. sometimes facebook is the fastest way to get out info. just about EVERYONE has facebook or someone who knows someone has it. so just like you were able to sit there and say “hey FI, your sister gave birth”, i’m sure that’s what they expected you to do. i’m sure the new dad was busy tending to his wife and new baby.
so please. stop. you knew when she was having the baby therefore, YOU could have been more proactive and reached out to them.
i told my mom, dad, half-brother, half-sister, and close friends about my pregnancy. my aunts and uncles found out through facebook and so did a step brother. they were happy for me nonetheless because the pregnancy matters, not how they received the info.
this new sense of entitlement is just… exhausting.
Post # 13
megz06: I’m with you on this one. I found out that we would be getting a new neice or nephew on FB ( the couple never told us or gave us a call)
It wasn’t my side of the family so I didn’t say anything to them ( i guess end of the day it isn’t a big deal , but glad to know where I stand lol) but if it was one of MY siblings who did that I would have been like “WTF , I get to find out along with your 500 fb friends???
It was so rude!
HeartsandSparkles: I would be pretty peeved, but what are you gonna do lol. Its not worth bringing up, just enjoy the baby
Post # 14
megz06: i’m sorry but that’s stupid. really in the heat of the excitement and anxiety surrounding the event, it’s not like a wedding. there is no time to reason through and pontificate a great and grandeous announcment. the baby is priority #1, not brother, sister, aunt or uncle. PERIOD.
Post # 15
HeartsandSparkles: I would be annoyed that I also had to find out via FB. Where are his parents? No one called to update you?
Honestly, I totally understand the annoyance, but give the lady a break. She just had a c-section and a potentially sick baby. I would reach out to her. Whats worse – thinking she didnt reach out to you or the fact that your FI hasnt called his sister to check in on her after major surgery/ the baby with potential issues? Maybe she forgot FI didnt have a FB and assumed he would hear it that way. I would be upset if it was hours after my c-section and my sibling didn’t even call to check in.