Posting STDs to facebook…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Insensitive and inappropriate.

Post # 4
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Yah… not cool. 

Post # 5
Member
2163 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ugh! SOOO glad you feel me on this one! We just mailed out our STDs on Saturday, and a bunch of people got them today, and FI’s sister took a picture of it and posted it to facebook! I was so upset, I definitely had a bridezilla meltdown in front of FI while I was on the phone with my own sister.

It killed me that someone would think it was ok to do this and tag both FI and me. We are extremely private and our wedding is going to be pretty small…I was so hurt because now all of my B-list people know they weren’t sent a save the date…and I reeeeally felt it was insensitive of her to do this. (I’d like to add that I didn’t want to have a B-list in the first place, but it is what it is) Not only that, but she posted the picture immediately…my close family and friends had to see our STD on FACEBOOK before they were able to open their own mail!! People have no manners, and I don’t want people who aren’t invited to my wedding to think that it was ME who did this totally uncool thing!

Oops, sorry…just had another bridezilla moment.

 

Post # 7
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s almost impossible, if you’re active on FB, to “quietly” get married without it coming up at all online. But going out of your way to make a big production of it when not everyone is invited is rude. She just wasn’t thinking

Post # 8
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I guess I’ll be the minority and say that I don’t see the big deal. Of course not every single person on someone’s Facebook is going to be invited to a wedding. There were people not invited to weddings since weddings became a thing. You can’t hide a wedding unless you elope and tell zero people.

Anyone getting upset because they weren’t invited to a wedding screams sense of entitlement. Weddings are personal and not every single one is a big shindig with 500 guests.

Should I not talk about my wedding on Facebook because it’s close family only? Of course not.

Post # 9
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

That is really rude and thoughtless to do. It almost feels like she wants those not invited to see it.

I am not sharing any wedding info whatsoever on facebook not just because it is insensitive to those not invited but because I would be beside myself it people who weren’t invited just showed up to the wedding thinking the facebook post was an open wedding invitation! Anyone could see that and crash the wedding!!!

I would comment on it and joke (while sending a message) that “Oh, since you advertised on facebook I guess it is an open invitation!” which may hint to her that you shouldn’t share these details with those not invited.

Post # 10
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Tarheelgurl:  wow- why would anyone do that? It’s so so rude! I can definitely see how that may cause confusion (like its an e-vote STD or something) and hurt some feelings. 

@JessicaJupiter:  +1

Post # 11
Member
6880 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Hahaha I honestly hope her entire friends list shows up at her reception and is like “well you invited us!!”

Post # 12
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I personally wouldn’t do it, but I wouldn’t be offended either

Post # 13
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@boogiewoogies:  I was also a little worried when some friends posted photos of their save-the-dates to Instagram. Hopefully a smaller group than Facebook, but still.

I am guilty as well of sharing engagement pictures on Facebook… that were posted on our wedding website. =/ I didn’t think of this until afterwards, but by then it was too late. I’m sure some people who saw our pictures browsed to other pages of the site. But I would not post our save the date! I’ve learned my lesson! Although it did make me feel better that a lot of my engaged friends (whose weddings I’m not invited to) have openly shared their wedding websites so people can “read their story” etc. I’m excited for those friends even though I’m not going to their wedding… but I think a Save the Date or something like that is a different story.

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yeah, I’m going to have to take the “get over it” stance on this one.  I know that weddings can be stressful, but I think in the age that the first thing you do when you get engaged is to post a selfie of that rock, this is the norm, not the exception.  

All of my bridesmaids posted their “Will you be my bridesmaid” cards: lucky for me, there really wasn’t anyone that “did’nt make the cut.” My only sister and my four besties are my bridesmaids.  My only concern at first was when one of them DIDN’T post: her’s was the only one that I adressed incorrectly.  

My aunt made a “Love your website” post to my wall, and my sister posted  a photo of the save the date on her fridge.  I took these all as loving gestures, and quite honestly, it allievated a lot of the uncertainty of “Am I invited?”  That may sound cold, but I’d rather my aquantiences know that they didn’t make the “cut” than wait til right before the wedding to know for sure. 

I personally think it’s more of a faux pas for people to wahwahwah why didn’t she invite me.  I have an old friend from college who has texted me more than 20 times over the course of my engagment to ask if she’s invited.  Now THAT lacks class.  

Not spell checked…sorry, don’t care!

Post # 15
Member
3201 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m also in the minority of “Who cares?” I don’t think it necessarily lacks class or anything like that. By getting annoyed by what she’s posting on Facebook is like asking her to monitor her happiness and excitement over her wedding because you find it offensive. If she’s comfortable posting something like that on Facebook I don’t see why it bothers you so much. She isn’t posting YOUR wedding info or doing anything that could negatively impact you. I know plenty of girls who post all different types of stuff about their wedding on Facebook and not once did I sit there, offended and shaking my head, or even have one moment of hurt feeling, of “Wait, why wasn’t I invited?” Like you said, you’re not close with this girl, so if it offends you so much, delete her. In hindsight, she should have blocked out the date and location, just so she didn’t have tactless people crashing her wedding, but aside from that, yeah, who cares? If it really bothers you, I would suggest deleting her. I just don’t see how it is classless, but it seems like most women on the Bee (and I could be totally off base) find posting ANYTHING on Facebook to be classless. There was a board a while back about whether it was “tacky” to post your ring on Facebook and a majority of the women said yes and I was FLABBERGASTED. That being said, I just try not to let stuff like that get under my skin, because there’s nothing you can do to stop it…

Now ladies posting updates on their contractions, I will take issue with.  

 

Post # 16
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Why would anyone assume that posting a photo of the save the date meant that they were automatically invited just because they laid eyes on it?

I have a friend who linked everyone on FB to her e-vite. She didn’t have anyone show up that wasn’t invited. She just wanted to show off her handywork.

Give people some credit for not being total idiots.

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