- 5 years ago
I am getting married in approximately in 100 days and this is literally the worse thing that can happen at this time.FI has been struggling to find a full time position in his field since he was laid off in early 2009. He has had two jobs since then and they both have been part time. Because of that, I have had the burden of financially supporting the household (we have 2 children, one his/one not) and occassionally giving him money when he is short.
His current position throws extra hours his way when people are sick or on vacation so he tries to help me financially when he can or even pay me back. But every so often (because he is a part time employee) he only gets 20 hours a week which is barely anything once his bills (car note, car insurance, cell, etc) are paid, so I am stuck paying for the rent, utilities and groceries by myself.
His job has no plans to turn him full time any time soon so he has been looking for another job. Last week he found and applied to a position 3 states away in his field. I was very annoyed because the position is also part time, but he wanted to check it out because he is aware there may be a huge increase in wages with the location difference (and because the company is a HUGE “market” employer. They called him in for an interview immediately about 3 days after he applied for the job and I took the day off of work to drive down there with him and check out the area. Turns out my fiance was right- during the interview it was revealed that the position pays 3.5 times more than what he is currently making per hour (for reference he makes a little over $20 an hour)— and the position is more than likely turning into full time after they fill it due to the plans of the company adding another shift.
My FI had a great interview- was there for over 2 hours and was shown all over the company and the hiring manager was calculating how much time my FI would need to relocate… (two weeks notice from current job, about two weeks to settle in and find a place, etc). FI felt like he had it. As we were driving back home, the hiring manager called him to “check” if he was OK with working split shifts on the weekend as he was currently doing the shedule for months in advance…. Now FI is really excited about it and all he talks about is moving there, getting this job, making more money… everything that deals with HIM.
I know he is excited but I think during all of this he forget that we are getting married in less than 100 days, we have CHILDREN and what about me financially. It has been a few days since the interview and I still have yet to hear anything “us” related. I brought it up to him and he said it matter of factly that I and the kids would be taken care of but then he reverts back to him and his plans. It is hard for me to get excited when this opportunity is taking more away from me than giving.
We don’t know if he has the job, but the hiring manager has been in a contact a few times asking him for more “material-references” (common in his field) and keeping in touch via phone or e-mail a few times since the interview. My fiance is currently undergoing thorough background check so we don’t expect to hear anything else until that is complete (which could take a few weeks long) but I am quite surprised how much contact he has had since the interview. We think he has it and it would be great if he got it as it is eventually a 6 figure job. But what about ME? What about our family? What about our wedding/first year of marriage?
I don’t know if it makes any sense to get married with this possible major change happening right before. If my FI would give me some assurance, then maybe I could deal better but alllllllllllll he talks about is getting this job and what HE is going to do when he relocates. For us getting married, he surely didn’t think about me when he made the decision to take this job before it was offered.
I already mailed the invites the day before he was called in for the interview. FI said we should still get married (he would ask for the weekend off for our wedding) but cancel our honeymoon so he can go back to work, if he gets this job.
Before anyone asks, I am currently finishing a second Bachelors degree and it wouldn’t make sense for me to relocate with FI if he does indeed get this job when I only have 13 classes to complete so FI will more than likely be on his own for a little more than a year before I am free to relocate our family (I take 4-5 classes a semester).