Postponing the wedding….

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MissSangria:  Wow – you are going through a really hard time.  I would be kind to yourself and let you feel the way you feel.  Of course you don’t want to postpone your wedding – I’m sure you would prefer your in laws to be happy and healthy.  You’re doing the right thing but it is okay to acknowlege this is hard.

Post # 4
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I’m so sorry to hear about all of this going on for you!! 

I don’t think you’re selfish for being angry.  I would think your anger comes from frustration that so many negative things are happening (which could make anyone angry, especially things like these!), coupled with the fact that you’ve decided to take on the added stress of pushing back your wedding, I do not think you’re selfish.  There is just a lot going on and it’s understandably frustrating.

I wish the best to your FMIL and FFIL’s health.  Let’s hope they are healthy and able to attend your late 2014 wedding! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@MissSangria:  I’m so sorry! I know it feels bad to feel angry but I think that is a completely normal response. It isn’t fair, and unfortunately life happens at the most inconvenient times! 🙁

Post # 7
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MissSangria:  That’s awful and I’m sorry. But hopefully your wedding will be much more enjoyable when people can attend in full health. If you had it now it would be gloomy and bittersweet.

Post # 10
Member
935 posts
Busy bee

@MissSangria:  hoping for both of their speedy recoveries. but like the PP stated, postponing the wedding is probably a good thing that way instead of it being bittersweet, it could just be “sweet” and a celebration of family, love, etc. 

You are not wrong for feeling the way you do, its only natural. you are excited and proabaly anxious to marry your boo so putting it off isnt ideal because you are soo ready to be married. however, you are doing it for all of the right reasons and im sure  your FI appreciates you for this. 

Wish all of you the best.

Post # 11
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

This might be a good opportunity (not right this second, let enough time pass that both you and FI are mentally/emotionally stable) for you and FI to have a good constructive discussion on how much you both will contribute to the care of his parents (throw yours in there too so it doesn’t seem one-sided).  It’s important that you’re careful not to financially burden yourselves!  Do what you can – that’s great – but not at the expense of suffering (like selling FI’s favorite car).  He should not have to do that.

Post # 12
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MissSangria:  no, you didn’t ask for it.  i’m sorry you are going through all of that.

Post # 13
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Of course you feel angry.  My mom is going through a serious illness right now as well, and it makes you angry at the world in a “why is this happening” sort of way.  It makes you angry that this has to happen during your engagement (such a special time that will only happen once and is supposed to be fun and joyful).  If this is happening partially because your family member didnt’ take the best care of themselves, you might even feel angry at themselves for being sick.

It’s normal.  You’ll work though these emotions.  Do your best not to take them out on people.  Go somewhere that you can scream at the top of your lungs and sob.  Let it out.

Post # 15
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MissSangria:  

You are not selfish and you are an angel for thinking of your in-laws.

Believe me, not all brides would postpone their wedding because their in-laws are ill. 

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