Post # 1
My fiance has two brothers that are married. When my fiance and I first started dating, one of his sisters-in-law told me a lot of things about him that weren’t true. I didn’t say anything for a while, but eventually, he confronted her about it and it didn’t go well. We ended up in a big fight. I was very upset. She basically said she “just assumed” a lot and didn’t know the things she was saying weren’t true. She’s very flirty with my fiance anyway, and she seems to have problems with all her friend’s girlfriends. (She never likes any of them). After that, I knew to be careful around her.
I asked her and the only other sister-in-law to be bridesmaids. I never heard from either one of them again. Come to find out, the first one I had trouble with a couple years ago has been telling the other one lies about me- basically, that I don’t like the other sister-in-law and I have said mean things. I’ve heard both of them talk about each other multiple times and have never, EVER said anything bad about either of them.
So now, the other one is mad at me, doesn’t believe me, thinks I’m a “drama queen”, etc, because of what the other one has said. And both brothers have a negative opinion of me, too, and are now worried about my fiance making a mistake in marrying me. I have no idea what is going on or what to do about all this negativity. Any advice on how to deal with nasty, manipulative sisters-in-law? (My fiance says he wants to stay out of it. Is that appropriate, either?)
Post # 3
I’ve had some problems with my fiances family as well (particularly one cousin who is bipolar/manipulative and was lying about things to get her way). The best approach is to have your fiance handle everything. It is his family at the end of the day, and any comments would be taken better coming from him then from you.
Also, you should let these girls know that since you haven’t heard, you have selected other bridesmaids. These are not the type of people you want in your wedding. You and your fiance should keep away from them as much as possible as well, the less contact, the less opportunity for drama. If I were you, I would select other friends/family to be in the wedding party, you certainly do not need them stressing you out on your big day! Hope it works out for you.
Post # 4
@JezikaT: I know your Fiance wants to stay out of it but he needs to have a talk with his brothers about what is going on. He needs to say that your relationship is fine and who started all the drama. Get the truth out.
I would email the 2nd SIL and explain your side of everything if you can. The beauty with women like your mean SIL is that eventually they expose themselves. She is flirty. I’m sure her husband sees it. I’m sure she flirts with the other SIL’s husband as well.
I would talk to your Future Mother-In-Law and let her know what is happening from you first. Then I would happily plan your wedding and leave those two out of it and surround yourself with friends and family who love it.
Remind your Fiance that if that woman is catty now she will probably be that way at future family get togethers. I would ignore her. Keep to yourself, hum and keep a smile and know she is pathetic
Post # 5
Ugh, I completely hear you/feel for you OP. My Future Brother-In-Law is not married, but has one whack-job of a girlfriend. She is a particularily classy lady whose likes include fighting with Future Brother-In-Law on facebook, starting rumors and drama, killing her unborn children (with abortions and raging yeast infections…not kidding) and insisting everyone in FI’s family “get over” the death of FBIL’s twin (who died a year ago).
Her newest brilliant ploy is to tell all of my IL’s how Future Sister-In-Law and I are forever talking about her and making her feel like she isn’t part of the family. You know, the same clever individual who went around telling anyone who’d listen that I was a terrible person for not leaving Fiance when his brother died and he fell apart because it made him a “sissy”. Yeah, that gem. And FI’s grandmother laps it up for whatever reason and it drives me crazy.
I’ve personally found the best way to go about it to be being totally confrontational about it- having both people in the room and essentially asking the full of…something party why they said that in the first place. I’ve found in the Grandma/Crazy Girlfriend of Future Brother-In-Law drama that they both fess up really fast and stop being idiots for at least a whole five minutes.