- 6 years ago
So, I have this friend I recently told would be one of my bridesmaids if she chose. She was ecstatic and said yes. Super happy time.
Now the problems arise. (I want honest opinions about whether I’m being ridiculous, or I need a “replacement”.)
Her bf is stationed overseas, and she, understandably, is sad about it a lot. And if my FI and I argue, minorly, she will butt in and say things “why argue? At least you actually get to see him… We wouldn’t argue if he was here.” I always blow it off since she is struggling with the whole thing. Good news, his tour is over and he is home for a few weeks before going to his base in the states. But ever since, she has been a complete diva about everything.
I am having a get together with some friends (about 15) and my FI for my birthday, and we are going into the downtown “clubbing” area to an upscale hookah bar we all love. Plus, a few are under 21 (myself included), but all the over 21’s (the majority) can still get drinks. It’s tradition to go on my birthday. I invited her and her bf obviously. I texted her to talk about what we would be wearing. (My outfit is awesome btw. Sequin mini, blazer, slouchy top, black tights, heels, etc. ) ANYWAYS. She informed me she wouldn’t be going, even though she already had already agreed and mentioned she had nothing to do anyway. I asked why, she said she didn’t hookah, I said fine not a problem, just don’t smoke. She acted COMPLETELY offended, and said her bf doesn’t either. I asked her if it was the hookah smoke she didn’t like being around. “No.” So don’t smoke…?
Here’s the rest of the conversation…
Her :”Why would I go to a place where I won’t do the main thing going on?”
Me: “Because all our friends are going, and the place has great food. It’s tradition. You don’t have a problem with the smoke, and I figured you would want to go.”
Her: “So? This is a shitty welcome home for him. Some people haven’t got to meet him yet, you know?”
Me: “Most of us went to high school with him. Two people don’t know him. And good thing its for MY birthday.”
(She is constantly showing us pictures of him and talking about him, which I don’t have a problem with, but basically means everyone knows everything about him already.)
Her: “I can’t believe you would be so insensitive. Why would you want to remind him of the middle east? That’s just cruel. If you do go, we won’t come back to the apartment for the rest of the night.”
This has been planned for awhile, and we didn’t know until two weeks ago when he would be home. Plus, we go there at least once every two or three months.
This made me think… If she is already this controlling about my birthday (in which she has no part), what will she be like in my wedding (where she actually has a say)?
We’ve also had issues with the dresses prior to the birthday incident. I let the MOH (aka FSIL/Best friend) pick out because we have similar taste in clothing. I loved it along with everyone I showed it to. Simple, elegant, affordable, and flattering to every body type. The BM was very angry that I let someone taller than her (by 4 inches) pick the dress because not only would she have to buy it, but pay to have it shortened. I offered to pay for alterations, but she continued to get snippy and said she didn’t like it anyway. *eyeroll*. She then insisted that they all have different dresses. My option for the three of them to decide was same dress, different hairstyle. Different dress, same hairstyle. I want some kind of uniformity. She had a problem with that too.
She also likes to refer to my FI as my boyfriend all the time, and it’s intentional. She will say it and slightly smile and give me this look. She knows its a pet peeve because the word fiance carries a lot more weight than boyfriend where you could be serious or not. Normally, from anyone else, I blow it off. Plus, she is upset her bf hasn’t popped the question and doesn’t want to discuss marriage despite the fact they have been together for over three years.
Am I being ridiculous? Or does this girl need to get dropped like a bad habit? She had a bit of an attitude before, but it made her almost fun/funny in a way. Now that he is back, she is horrible to deal with and downright rude (in my opinion.) It might just be her age (19), but still. The whole birthday thing which happened today, is really making me question naming her a BM.
I appreciate your comments!
Happy planning, ladies!