Post # 1
I have been engaged for a little over 2 weeks and I’m already so frustrated.
What I have had in mind for our wedding is not traditional. I want a fun reception with close family members and a quick/intimate vow exchange at some point during the night w/ an amazing dinner and bar and my mom is just not accepting that.
Everything from my dress choice (non-gown) to my decision not to have a formal ceremony has been debated and I’m getting fed up fast. When I brought up my estimated guest list (approx. 75 ppl) she said “But we had over 50 people at our family reunion last summer, and that’s just your gramma’s side”. I said “Well I hardly knew most of them, why would I invite them?” “Sometimes a wedding isn’t just about you.” I don’t understand how it isn’t about us and why I should have to have a bunch of people there that I have barely spoken to in my adult life. I don’t think my wedding should double as another family reunion! We aren’t even going to get married for at least two years and already this is getting too much! I am BARELY in the planning process and I just want to go to the courthouse and say “f’ it!!”.
I understand her side. I’m her oldest daughter, she’s proud of me, she has had a vision for my wedding, she wants it to be a big celebration and all that but I’m not comfortable with any of it. The only reason I went w/ a wedding instead of heading to the courthouse is to be able to celebrate with my family. I shouldn’t have to argue about this.
Sorry this is so drawn out.. just needed to vent.
Post # 3
i understand. i haven’t had that many issues, but even having one makes you cringe. like this is MY wedding, i can do how and what i want. its really frustrating.. i have actually come to realize that weddings are not just about the bride and groom as much as we would like them to be. everyone here has a story about someone in their family or bridal party causing them undue stress because they don’t like how something is being done. and i seriously do not get it. i just say you stick to your guns and do what YOU want (as long your FI is on board! – that is the only person i think its acceptable to negotiate with!)
Post # 4
I understand your frustration. But you know what…take some time..looks as though you aren’t getting married until 2014…hold off until at least next spring to start thinking about it. No where does it say you have to hammer out the details in the first month.
Sit back..relax..breath..and enjoy your engagement 🙂
Post # 5
Sassy5412 – Thanks for the response! Luckily my fiance and I are completely on the same page w/ the wedding! 🙂
Ms Sassy – Thanks for the advice! However we’re probably getting married end of 2012 or beginning of 2013… I just haven’t changed the date I entered when I first registered w/ weddingbee that I just randomly put in lol…I should probably do that now..
Post # 6
I was a lot like you when i first started planning. I am a second time bride and my FI is a first timer! I wanted Las Vegas or Hawaii on the beach and 25 people! He wanted a biggish wedding… We compromised, but his mom still ended up with about half the guest list! The two of us along with my parents are fitting most of the bill. It was a struggle, but there are somethings that aren’t worth fighting over… My advice is compromise a little here to get what you want in another area! Good luck!
Post # 7
Even if you aren’t footing the bill for your wedding, I do think that your mom needs to honor your wishes for the size of your guest list. I think it’s important for you to tell her that you wanted a courthouse wedding, and you ARE compromising by even agreeing to 75 people. Maybe she’s not aware that you have already given a little ground. Also, you do have plenty of time to iron out details, but the size of your guest list can determine your location and the location sets the stage for decorations, catering, your dress choice, and everything else. So this IS a good time to iron out the details. You may consider looking at venues and finding a venue which will only hold 75 people anyway, then you’d have more ammunition for why your mom should compromise as well.