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I'll begin by saying I think I'm overthinking this ;)
But - I wanted to get your thoughts on praising your spouse on facebook - either on your wall as a status update or on their wall as a post.
My DH recently signed up for FB, so I never really had this 'issue' before; but I know that some of my friends often post things about their spouses either as part of their status update or on their wall.
A couple friend of mine recently celebrated an anniversary and both of their status updates waxed on about how lucky they were to have married the other and listed things they appreciated about their spouse.
Another friend always posts things to their spouses wall about nice things they've done.
Before DH was on FB - I always wondered why that person didn't just communicate with their spouse in a more private way... but I wondered if maybe it was just a different way to share appreciation (and shout it from the rooftops, so to speak)!
The question came up in my head because DH cooked me the most fantastic dinner last night, then tonight made me a yummy bfast and took care of something on my car... and he's likely going to make me dinner tonight (it's his day off)... and I was feeling overwhlemingly grateful... and I almost created a FB post about it - but stopped myself because I realized I could just thank DH personally or in a private email without it seeming like a big brag fest.
(See - I TOLD you I was overthinking this).... but, I AM curious how you handle FB posts to and about your spouse :)
HAHAHA.
I totally know what you mean. There are people I know who do this ALL the time. I always think there's a problem if you feel the need to broadcast this ALL the time. Why not just tell your spouse?
I might once in a blue moon do it. :)
ha, I think its weird and kind of boastful when you overly communicate with someone you live with on facebook. Why would you do it unless you wanted everyone to know how lucky you are/wonderful your husband is since you live together? I think every now and then it is nice, but the people that do it all the time, ugh, its just annoying :)
I communicate with my husband and my close friends/family directly, not on FB
I think bragging on our spouses is AWESOME and we should do it when we feel like doing so.... just like you totally bragged on him here (even though the post title was for something different)
I don't do it all the time b/c then I feel it get's a little eye roll worthy & over-rated but when I know that I couldn't have made it through my day with my sanity without him... or he goes over & beyond just being awesome, then you better believe I brag... usually in my status telling others about his awesomeness but occasionally on his wall telling him.... but the latter is very occasional b/c I usually just tell him face to face.
that's right.. My Husband is AWESOME! lol
I just wouldn't use his wall to blow cyber kisses. lol
I don't think you need to justify advertising what is going on in your relationship on facebook at all. Like you, I would show my appreciation in person or a kind gesture in return. I find announcements on status' slightly cheesy and.. dare I say it, lazy?
Besides, you can't read into everything on facebook. My friend on facebook and her boyfriend used to publicly declare their love for each other everyday in statuses/photos etc. Behind the scenes, they had an argument, she moved out and they broke up. All the while they made believe they were blissfully happy, when they were far from it in reality. Shame really..
I think it is SO weird when people write on their spouse's wall... why can't you just talk to them in person?? I know a couple who does this soooo much, but the guy 100% just wants other girls to "like" the post so he feels good about himself. I know other couples just do it to be nice, but this guy makes me hate it no matter who's doing it.
Honestly, when people brag about their spouses in their status I kind of think "good for him/her that they have someone who treats them well"... but whenever I think of posting about my husband I usually stop myself. I don't like brag posts and I don't want it to look like I'm bragging, plus I rarely post anything even remotely personal. I'd only post about him if it was something funny that I think my friends would appreciate.
I think there's a difference between writing on DH's wall and making a status post. If you were to write on his wall then yes, you could have just told him in person. But for example, if you made a status that said something along the lines of.. "Amazing dinner two nights in a row AND breakfast in bed? I have one amazing hubby!" then it's a more public way of acknowledging what he did and your appreciation!
I definitely get tired of the people who do this too much though, as well as people who post mushy gushy stuff allll the time. Yuck!
My DH has posted about me like once to congratulate me on taking my GMATs. I thought it was really sweet. All the time? No. For big, actual accomplishments. Yes. My DH made dinner last night, I didn't post about it. He's supposed to make dinner once in awhile.
@LoveMySailor1018: Exactly.
I cant stand the couples that post to each others walls to say thank you or whatever. Like really?? Of all the ways to communicate with your SO, you choose facebook!? But a status brag (used sparingly) is not so bad.
@spaneshal: Good point. I am friend's on fb with a friend's mom. She always posts those copy and paste statuses about "if you have an amazing husband who is your rock, your strength..." blah blah blah. In reality I know from my friend that his parents rarely talk and his mom seems to be tired of his dad and he thinks she wants to leave and stuff. Sometimes I think people just want to make themselves and their relationships look good on facebook.
@pinkshoes: yea... I want to say the last time I posted on DH's wall was for his birthday..... b/c my birthday post HAD to be better than everyone elses! lol
But I have bragged in my status about him doing something awesome that made me feel great or REALLY helped me out & especially is I wasnt' expecting it.
Why can't it be both??? Why can't I boast about how wonderful he is and tell him face to face. And just because i do boast about him on FB, doesn't mean that he doesn't get the appreciation face to face. I personally do this alllll of the time. I really could care less what other people think about me doing it either. I don't do it to the point where its all i talk about, but it's quite often. I find nothing wrong with it at all. So yea, i think you're overthinking it just a tad.
I'm guilty of posting about how wonderful DH is from time to time on my FB page. He doesn't have FB though, so he doesn't see it...but I like doing it. B/c then he'll get comments from friends about whatever amazing thing he did and it makes him feel good :o) Sometimes, it's not about boasting, it's about talking about your blessings rather than your shortcomings all the time (which so many people tend to do).
i think that kind of bragging on your husband is awesome so that you're sharing/thanking at the same time. the FB posts i don't like are directly on their wall and say things like "you're right next to me in bed and i'm just so lucky/thankful/whatever" THAT kind of thing you should say to their face. (and yes, that's an actual wall post from a friend of mine.)
I think it's ok and cute once in awhile... the people that do it all the time, I have to roll my eyes because I don't know who they are trying to convince.
I personally don't really do it because my H doesn't have facebook so it doesn't make a lot of sense. I also try to keep my facebook pretty neutral and not get into really personal stuff.
I think the occasional status bragging on your hubby is fine (but I would find it a bit eye-rolling if someone did it ALL THE TIME).
I do think writing on your spouse's wall is pretty silly though (I do make an exception for a happy birthday post though).
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/30/women-facebook-friends-survey_n_842406.html
I post about DH every so often on my FB about cute things he does, but I definitely don't gush. Like DH made a modular origami penguin for me at work the other day when there was nothing to do, and I thought it was so frigging cute I had to post a picture of it saying how I loved that my husband is just as randomly crafty as I am.
I definitely don't talk about him every day like some people on my news feed I could mention. And the "copy/paste if you love your _____" statuses...don't get me started.
If you do it very seldomly, like on anniversaries or big events (ie one of you gets a promotion), I think it's ok. Even in your instance if you just said one big thank you and then limited yourself for a long time, I think it's ok (although I'd probably just thank my husband in person and let it go).
Otherwise it's just freaking obnoxious, and makes me wonder why you have to try so hard to convince people you've got a great relationship.
I find it annoying. I have a married couple friend who post "I love you" and other things on each other's wall. I always want to comment on it and say "just turn and look at him and say it to his face!!!" one time the guy's brother commented and said "there's a great invention, it's called a telephone. you should use it" and it got a lot of "like"
I've never done this, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It would be the same thing as someone talking about how funny/adorable/smart their kids are, so why not?
People that do it all tIme and call each other pet names are obnoxious. Other than that though I don't see an issue with it. Sometimes I mention him in a post or thank him for doing something out of the ordinarily nice. I don't see it as nearly as big of a deal as you do. If someone wants to brag about their spouse why is that a problem? I would rather see that then here aboutbreak they break up every day over nothing. Sometimes I don't see my FI all day long so it's nice to remind him in a surprise way that I can't wait for our date that weekend.
Honestly people need to brag about husbands more. I think society has thing THING against married couples and that marriage is awful.
If you write a book about your husband, it's creepy and embarassing. If you stay something simple and sweet about your husband, it's just sweet. "Amazing dinner then breakfast in bed, compliments of the hubs"
Personally I think if you have something nice to say to your spouse you should tell them. I dont know why people use facebook for personal conversations especially when you live with the person. I think facebook has made a lot of people lose their sense of privacy and forget all about boundaries.
We both do it. It is the same as telling a friend about this awesome thing he did. Because, that is exactly what it is! I have an amazing husband and the world deserves to know just how amazing he is! Plus, he LOVES it when he hears about me bragging about him. It just boosts his self confidence I guess. We thank eachother in person but also publically.
I boast about him occasionally (like how awesome my christmas present was and how he always gives the best presents)... But I dont really write on his wall very often, he's actually never on facebook. I like to "brag" as some people put it on facebook because of a few reasons... my family lives far away and I'm terrible at keeping in touch but I know my mom stalks my facebook, so putting up statuses like that let her and my family and friends know that I'm happy and things are good... the other reason is, FI's family also lives far away and his dad in particular likes to make silly comments about his son whenever I mention him... It just a way we keep in touch and let them know how we're doing... Even if I'm just happy that he did the dishes for me (which NEVER happens, so when it does it's a big deal!). :)
I don't post stuff on DH's wall because he never checks his facebook. I do, however, like to brag on him a bit in my status updates. Again, it's not like every status is about him, but I like to let other people know how great he is :D
The last time I did this was when DH woke me up early on a Sunday morning with donuts, coffee and 2 dozen roses...just because he had been laying in bed thinking about how amazing I was and he wanted to do something special for me. I thought that was worth bragging about :P
I do it sometimes. I don't care if anyone has a problem with it because I didn't do it for them. I don't post things like, "going to XYZ", ""doing XYZ with my hubby", "look at what my hubby just brought me", etc.
Most of the time he doesn't see what I post until days later because he rarely logs in.
I do, however, find it annoying when people argue or keep changing their relationship status on facebook.
I also think there is a difference between posting on your DH/FI's wall and a status update. If i'm talking directly to him, i would just say it.
I actually like it when my friends publicly honour their OH's on their status updates, it makes a difference from those facebook friends who moan about their lives all the time. Its just another way of showing appreciation, i personally dont see it as bragging so much.
I hate when couples do this, I think its really stupid. Why can't you just say thank you, you LIVE together! Most of the time when I see this I'm just thinking to myself "they must be over-compensating for something". FI knows I appreciate him and the things he does, I tell him & show him. I don't need to tell all 500 friends, family & co-workers about it too.
We do it once awhile. I praise him more than he does me, but that's because FI hates Facebook. Hah.
Also, like o0olibelulao0o said... Our family members that we can't keep in close touch with get most of their information about how we're doing from my facebook. I love to hear from DH's parents about how so-and-so LOVED my posts about xyz.
Iwould never actually complain about this in real life, but I personally find it annoying. But I also find it annoying when people post about what they ate for breakfast. In fact, I think most status updates are pointless and annoying. But that's Facebook for you. :)
I have one couple friend in particular who I think are a great couple and I'm very happy that they're so happy with each other, buuuut I get tired of reading about it every day...sometimes multiple times a day. When it gets to be too much I just unsubscribe from them.
Communication is a big part of a relationship and I feel is best if you tell your loved ones directly how you feel about them. I think it will mean a lot more than if they read it on Facebook. Besides, why the need for everyone else to know what your loved one does for you? Before Facebook came along, we would not think of sharing such moments with everyone we know, but problably only with our closest friends.
I occasionally say nice things about the boy on my FB, because sometimes he does things for me that are awesome or super helpful, and I think there's nothing wrong with saying how awesome he is. Of course I tell him, too - but we're in an LDR and sometimes I just want to make it clear that despite the distance, we're pretty happy people. I also totally post on his wall sometimes - interesting articles he'll like (that I know mutual FB friends will like too), pictures of our daughter, etc. Sure, I could share them privately through email, but who cares?
I do think the constant "omg, I heart my hubby soooooooooooo much, i love you babe!!!!!!" posts are a little crazy, but to each their own in terms of how they express themselves. I don't judge other people's relationships based on what they put on their FB so hopefully no one judges mine :p I think positive posts are great. It's when people make 'cryptic' (but actually quite obvious) negative posts about their partner that I think people need to take it off FB...
If everyone who is so annoyed with what people post on facebook why do you have a Facebook? The point is to post status updates and pictures . I think it is sweet when people post cure status updates on their significant others page, not everyone is sitting next to the person I sometime comment on my FI's wall when I'm at work just to say hi since i am on my computer all day for work.
We don't do this. He's rarely on FB. To me, it's more of a show to other people. If I want to praise him, I'll praise HIM to his face. If he had some amazing accomplishment, like he won the Nobel or something, hell yeah, I'd make a big deal out of it on FB...but just everyday things I love about him...that's just for us.
I don't think you're over thinking it. I'm definitely on the side of finding it annoying. I think it's interesting that people defend doing it, but not one person on here has said oh I love reading people's posts when they brag or communicate about their significant other on facebook.
I tell my FI all the time in person how great/awesome/helpful he is but sometimes I do give him a FB shoutout and I'm not ashamed of it lol. Everyone likes to know they're appreciated and while it obviously means more to say it in person, a little sweetness on the status also makes them feel special.
For example: a few days ago my FI posted " spending the day with my favorite lady"
Could he have just as easily looked over at me and said it? Sure he could have, but it made me feel special that he not only would tell it to my face but also to everyone out there in cyber world haha.
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