Post # 1
Has anyone ever done Pre Cana by choice? Everyone I know who has done it has done it because they were forced into doing it because they were getting married in a catholic church. Well neither one of us are catholic and we’re not getting married in a church at all.
For those of you who have been to one, did it help with any communication issues you may have had? Is it worth the money?
Post # 3
Just like any form of pre-marital counselling, pre-cana depends strongly on how good your counsellor is. Out of interest, why do you want to do a pre-cana at all if you are not Catholic? Wouldn’t another form of pre-marital counselling be more suitable for you?
Post # 4
Some friends of ours said that they got a lot out of it and in our area there is no other form of pre marital counseling so this is our only option.
Post # 5
Are you talking about taking the pre-cana classes offered through the church?? or Engaged Encounter??
We did Engaged Encounter (a weekend event) and found it to be REALLY good as far as pre-maritial counseling goes. Most of the weekend is spent discussing very relevant and important things that people should be discussing prior to getting married. Our EE event had a LOT of writing and talking between the couples.
There is the NFP part to go through (DH almost made me bust out laughing by saying that NFP is not like OPP).
There were a lot of couples there who had one partner who was not Catholic, so if you did EE you wouldn’t feel “out of it” or anything. DH is not Catholic, and he didn’t feel like it was so awful.
Post # 6
@brush1027: Pre-Cana is specifically Catholic. It sounds like you are really just looking for pre-marital counseling. I’m sure you could find a counselor who would offer this.
Post # 7
We are both Catholic and went to Engaged Encounter weekend in Los Angeles. It was really great and there were some non-Catholics there. I think it depends on the area and the presetners/facilitators that will make it meaningful for you.
The way our weekend was presented was there were three couples that talked about different topics (ex. money, communcation, family values). Then you and your fiance had time indivudally to write in your workbooks (they had prompts or things for you to think about) then you came together to go over your answers. It was mostly stuff DH and I had already gone over at that point but it did help give you communcation and problem soliving ideas and if you hadn’t discussed some of the topics, it would be even more useful. For us, it mostly just reaffirmed everything for us, which was great.
Are there other pre-marital counseling options for you? Ours did not focus too much on religion or NFP but I have other friends who did their Pre-Cana elsewhere and it focused soley on religion and NFP. I’m not saying it won’t be helpful but it’s going to depend on the diocese and the way they run the program.
Post # 8
@brush1027: I’m Catholic but we are getting married in a Presbyterian church (FI’s is Presbyterian, they were a lot more open and welcoming than the Catholic church I talked to). So we aren’t doing “pre cana” because they don’t do that outside of the Catholic church. However we probably are doing the one offered by FI’s church. I feel like it’s a good idea. It can’t hurt anyway so we may as well try it.
Post # 9
Pre cana is going to have you discuss Bible passages, God, and other Catholic-specific topics, a lot. So if you’re not interested in going into those discussions then I would look for “pre-marital” counseling and not pre cana.
FI and I are doing pre cana. It does ask us to discuss questions we don’t really think about, but since we’re already on the same page on these topics it wasn’t too bad. I can see it being very beneficial for couples who don’t communicate as much on those kinds of topics. Some topics are about your purpose in life, duties to one another, contraception, forgiveness, child rearing, ec. I’m not sure if I would say it’s worth the money but I do think we are benefiting from it.
Post # 10
@brush1027: Hmmm…. I really would recommend you find a counsellor… any local counsellor will probably do this! Pre cana is very Catholic specific, and I’m not even sure if you can get a reference to do it if you are not Catholic, because you usually have to do it through the church.
I mean… PPs are right, you could get lucky and it could be great, or you could be unlucky and it could be all “Bible, Bible, Bible, NFP, NFP”, which would be less suitable for you!