Weddingbee boards

Hey military wives (or bees or FI's!). My FI is deploying in August, a few months after the wedding. We had the pre-deployment brief for families a few weeks ago, and there were a few classes about emotions around deployments, meeting the FRG, and how to prepare legally for deployments. 

Ever since that meeting, I've been noticing a lot of the..symptoms? of pre-deployment. I am much more irritable than normal. I get annoyed at people breathing too loudly, and when people cut me off driving, I could just run them off the road. Worst of all, my entire attitude is just...worst. Instead of a "normal" day being about a 6.5/10, a "normal" day has become about a 4. things that shouldn't get me down just send me into a funk for hours at a time. I'm also having a really hard time focusing on school. I just don't care about my homework, and I only have a year left, so that's a really bad thing to be feeling!

Any suggestions? I already exercise regularly (I'm also in the Army!), eat well, get enough rest, etc. I'm more calm about the deployment than I thought I would be. Perhaps my fear is simply manifesting in these symptoms? I don't know..but I don't feel like myself and it's not fair to FI to deal with moody and irritable me for another six months. Ugh!

From a bee going through deployment with FI, it is TOUGH, before and now. I actually didn't go through what you're feeling until now because we had so many things going on that we were more focused on the moment and just going going going 24/7. Now that he's gone, I'm having all the symptoms that you're describing and it's really, really tough. I cry a lot, I worry a lot, and I'm in school, as well, with problems being motivated and being, well happy. I have good days and bad and like you I workout and have a full course load plus some to keep me busy but it's still tough. What I've found to be helpful is doing more of what I did before, staying even busier! Make a list of things that you want to do before he leaves, things that are important or silly and do them! Have things to plan and get excited about, with him! Make sure you do all the things that you love to do as a couple, like dinner/movie night, go to your favorite haunts, go on that mini vacay youve been talking about, visit family, and girl, planning your wedding should keep you busy enough!

And to prepare for deployment, you really can't. The best I can tell you is to talk about it and make is comfortable to talk about, not something taboo or hush hush. Take a GREAT honeymoon! And just enjoy the time that you have and try to help him prepare the best you can, mentally and however else. He really needs you now, he needs to see that you're going to be there and support him through this, that you'll be waiting when he gets back, and that you're going to be ok. I thought for all the talking we did about it, I would know what to expect but when he left, I realized I never could have prepared for it, especially the day we said goodbye.

Also, during this time before he leaves, you might fight a lot more, we did, and as it got closer, it got worse and we both knew it was because our emotions were running on high because of the upcoming deployment. Communication is KEY! ^ months will go by in the blink of an eye so really cherish the moments you have and stay involved in FRG and even consider counseling, it's really not a bad thing to do before he leaves and especially after he goes.

Try to hang in there, I know it's tough and I'm sorry if my message doesn't help and is all over the place. I feel like I have so much I can tell you and it's hard to get it out. Your feelings are normal, remember that, just try and keep the communication open and cherish what you have now. *hugs* and please pm me id you want to talk!