Pre-Elopement Announcement?

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
7896 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t think you should send out what is essentially an anti-invite. Save the date! You’re not invited! It might be nice for you to try and get notes, but it’s not nice to the people youd send it to. I dont think you can have it both ways- you marry with your family/friends around or you don’t. I think you should just stick to the wedding announcements, and you can tell your closest friends before personally. And not in the mail.

Post # 3
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

MrsBuesleBee:  I agree, OP I think it would be a sort of slap to the face if you tell them the exact date and location well ahead of time and ask them to be involved but not invite them. But I do like your idea to ask for letters and sentiments you can read with your FI on the day. So perhaps do a similar thing, send out announcements of your elopement, but after the fact, and instead of asking for letters and sentiments you can read on your wedding day ask for letters and sentiments you can seal in an envelope, open and read on your first wedding anniversary? I think that is a way to get the letters you wanted, but without upsetting anybody.

Post # 4
9856 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

neverendingpiethrowingrobot:  I think a better way to do this would be to have your mothers contact your family and pose this as their idea.

Jimmy and Sally are getting married in a private ceremony on such and such, we thought it might be nice if close family wrote notes or well wishes for them to read after the ceremony.


Post # 5
3643 posts
Sugar bee

neverendingpiethrowingrobot:  Nope. I think the whole purpose of an elopement is not telling everyone you know you’re going to do it. After you send announcements out, after the ceremony, people will send you their good wishes.

Post # 6
1715 posts
Bumble bee

If you tell everyone your plans, you’re not eloping. What your describing is a private ceremony. 

Post # 7
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

neverendingpiethrowingrobot:   I agree with MsGinkgo. If you want these kind of letters and notes have your mothers send out a request for them. That way your family and friends will know that your parents approve of you having a private ceremony and are still trying to include them. Then after your ceremony send out the announcements, maybe include a wedding picture and a short note thanking them for their well wishes. Good Luck!!

Post # 8
128 posts
Blushing bee

I actually really like the idea, but I wouldn’t tell them about the date/location… You might have people show up, and even if they don’t you’re going to have people itching to go.


I love that idea as well!

Just really think about what you want to do and think about the reprecussions and how your family/friends might feel. I think it’s really sweet you want to include them and hope you find something that will make everyone happy 🙂

Post # 9
236 posts
Helper bee

Rhopalocera:  I agree. An elopement is where you ‘run away’ to get married, forsaking the usual public nature of the cerermony. A good deal  of what  is being discussed on this thread is not an elopement at all, but merely  a civil/small /family only wedding .  You dont hire  wedding planners  book tables and venues  and all that for an  elopement , it’s just you and him, on your own,  unannounced   beforehand  . Not for every couple  , but perfect for many .

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