Pre-engagement agony!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I might be in the minority here, but I don’t like this. He’s “torturing” you by leaving the ring in places where you could find it. I don’t find that to be fun, I find it to be mean spirited and unkind. 

 

You say he’s waiting for the right time, and I think that’s nice. But, he’s baiting you and it’s not nice. Of course, your relationship is your relationship, but I don’t think this is okay. 

Post # 3
Member
7807 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

That’s is truly obonxious. I would tell him I dont want to see it again till it’s on my finger period.

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Mybe it isn’t the waiting that is stressing you out, it could be the torture of what he is doing. If I were in your position I would think everytime it randomly appeared it was time and that has got to be nerve wracking.

I agree with what Mrs.BuesleBee said, tell him you don’t want to see it again until he is proposing. Of course, I’d do it in a nice way since he probably doesn’t realize what he is doing is hurting you. He probably just sees it as a fun little game and nothing more. I’m sure if he knew he was stressing you out he’d stop. A man that will go to all that trouble to get you the right ring and plan the perfect proposal obviously loves you and wants to make you happy.

Post # 5
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee

I just don’t see the point at all. To me this is degrading and infantilizing your relationship.

What may seem adorable now will wear very thin very quickly.

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel stressed, and there is absolutely no reason for him to be doing what he’s doing.

He’s not Big Daddy and you’re not Puppy.

Please be sure you’re both truly grown up before you have real children.

All that said, whatever floats your boats!

Post # 6
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That all sounds incredibly stupid to me.  I mean, you’re engaged already if you’ve agreed to get married, so why won’t he just let you wear the ring?

Post # 7
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I completely understand this! My SO said he is going to propose by the end of the year and has been ring shopping (without me as he wants it all to be a surprise. Knowing it will happen soon (hopefully!) is driving me insane with anticipation, which is made worse by the fact that he finds this hilarious. He drops hints and cryptic clues about the ring and when he will do it, just to see me squirm! Not in a mean way but he is driving me crazy!!!

Post # 8
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

Please ignore all the negativity. It doesn’t sound like what your FI is doing is mean-spirited and you said so yourself you think it’s fun. I think if it DOES truly bother you that he’s teasing you that you should simply tell him, but I think it’s just the waiting game that’s bothering you more (and despite what some people say, YOU two decide when you’re engaged, not them, so ignore the asinine comments that state otherwise).

All I can say sadly is try to relax! 🙂 The holidays are upon us (if you celebrate) so try to focus on that! I knew my FI had the ring for a long while, though I didn’t know what it looked like, and knew he was gearing up to propose so I knew exactly what you’re feeling! Perhaps if your SO can give you a general timeline (before the holidays? After? By a certain birthday or anniversary?) it might ease your mind, and you’ll realize how FAST the time will fly. Might I suggest looking for something for him in return? It need not be a ring, but it might be fun to get him a gift for the day after the proposal or something as well 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

It’s sad that you’re describing what should be an exciting, joyful time as agony because of your SO’s insensitive, immature, and downright irresponsible behavior.  He put the ring in a bag of chocolate chips?!  Are you kidding me?!

Post # 10
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Weird, I don’t understand what the other posters “see”. I’m guessing he is a jokester and is just trying to have fun, while it sucks it’ll be cool when he does finally propose cause you will be like “here’s another of his jokes” lol

 

 

Btw. Beautiful ring!

Post # 11
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

anaxilea:  So have you decided if you’re going to accept his proposal or not? If you’ve already agreed to get married, congrats! You’re already engaged! Have fun waiting around for your ring…

Post # 12
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I have to agree with PPs that’s a pretty obnoxious and weird thing for him to be doing. It sounds like you’re pretty much engaged so the next time you see it I’d just stick it on my finger and go, what I thought that was the proposal? If not, why’d you put it out?

Post # 13
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm. I was engaged before I even got my ring (2 weeks later). I guess I don’t understand the formality of it. Personally, if I found the ring placed in a clever way where I would find it, I would take it as a proposal…

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