(Closed) Pre-engagement conversation? Did this happen to you?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had a similar conversation almost two years before the engagement date! I think that it means that he wants to marry you, but doesn’t have it all set out yet. If you want to clarify, talk to him! Say, “Hun, yesterday we were talking about marriage, and I just wanted to know if we could talk more about it. I was confused by ______________. What did you mean?”

Good luck and happy waiting 🙂

Post # 4
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

eeeeeek! Terrifying and exciting! You know he has been tihnking about it, cause guys would NEVER bring it up if they hadn’t been. If you need more clarifycation from him, just let him know ” you totally caught me off guard with the marriage comment yesterday! Now that I’ve had alittle more time to process it, I just want to know… (fill in your blank)

I’d be wondering if this is something I should expect soon, if he wants it to be a surprise and I shouldn’t bring it up to often etc…

Good luck and congrats!!!

Post # 5
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s an awesome conversation to have, but it’s definitely just the first step in a series of steps to engagement. I wouldn’t start planning a wedding based on that conversation alone. I’m a little old fashioned and I will not plan a thing until I have a ring and he’s said those three magic words. Until then, I’m happy enough browsing ideas on wedding blogs, just for fun. Have another talk with him, ask him what he sees as the timeline for this engagement, and then go from there! But as a PP said, she had this conversation and her engagement didn’t happen until two years later, so it would be bad for you to start planning and get your hopes up only to realize that his plans are further down the road. 

Post # 6
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

How exciting!!!

Dont start planning a wedding yet, wait till for him to pop the questin and give you a ring, its much more fun and exciting that way!

  FI and I were at a wedding a year ago, after the wedding as we were laying in bed he said something like, “I really want to marry you, I want this forever” I turned to him and said me too!! It was really great to hear, then he proposed a month later and we began to plan!!! 

Post # 7
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We had that conversation about 7 weeks before we got engaged. He wanted opinions about rings and to make sure I had the options to say no. For me it was great– I had plenty of time to do research and figure out where I wanted my wedding. Happy waiting! It’s coming!

Post # 8
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yes! We were doing something (grilling burgers for dinner I think) and he casually threw out “So… what if we got married?” I was really shocked because we hadn’t been together for long at all, but I was even more shocked with myself because I was totally excited and not one bit nervous. So we had what I call the “mini marriage talk” which was all kind of hypothetical, and then we had the “big marriage talk” a few weeks later in which we finally said “We’re getting married, let’s go start the paperwork.”

Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

So I am new here, but this is definitely what I am going through.   We have plans to be engaged before I am 25 ( so before july 3rd ) and be married before the year is over! ( quick I know ).  He was the one who came to me just a few days ago and gave me the green light to start planning and getting things ready ( which brought me here.. and I must say.. I love this place already).  We started the engagement talk about a month and a half ago, but I was cautious and didn’t start planning anything ( except looking at rings ) until he gave me the green light and we had discussed the time line that we wanted things to be done in.  It’s all still very surreal to me so it’s a bit overwhelming.. Does that happen to everyone or is it just me?

Post # 10
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We talked abotu colours for months and months before we got engaged but I didnt buy a dress or find a venue etc till after we got enaged. Colours are hard since FI is colourblind and Im picky so we took our time.

Post # 11
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@FutureMrsPorter:  I think everyone is overwhelmed, especially when it comes to short engagements! I’m doing mine in 7 months and it is flying by. I think it is great to get a bit of a head start. If you post a thread about anything from tips on engagment, to help on chosing a venue to ideas of a theme, weddingbee is great for help! I don’t want to jack this thread by responding (take over from the original posters question), but just a tip for you 🙂

Post # 12
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I told FI I was ready to be engaged after we had been together for about a year and a half (because I had previously said that I would not get engaged before graduating college, and this was during my freshman year of school). He told me he was ready to get married during my sophmore year, and then waited about two years to actually go out and buy a ring and propose (which confused me and drove me nuts). I know he waited because I’m young (I’ll graduate this spring) and were not getting married till 2013 (decided before we got engaged that it made sense to get married when he finished law school). I’m not sure how old you and your BF are, but I think that he made the comment to let you know hes serious. I would be very reluctant to put a deposit down on anything without a ring or decision to announce to the world that you are officially engaged (if you’re the kind of couple that doesn’t want/need a ring). Just because he has decided you two will get married (and you’re obviously on board with that) doesn’t mean you can set a date without a lot of further discussion, which usually happens after the ring/proposal. You can certainly fantasize though.

Post # 14
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@august.owl:  PINTEREST!!! I got my FI excited by it 🙂

Post # 15
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@august.owl:  I would join pinterest and make a couple boards so that you can start thinking about the size, formality, and feel of the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

honestly, you SHOULD talk about marriage prior to getting engaged. I think the idea of it all being out of the blue and a complete surprise is kind of reckless and irresponsible. It should be a rationally thought-out decision that both of you have thoroughly discussed and thought about. My husband and I had discussed, kids, finances, type of wedding, our future goals, our future plans for where to live, whether we wanted to own a house in the future, etc, etc before we ever got engaged. We picked the ring out together. And the proposal was still amazing!

The topic ‘Pre-engagement conversation? Did this happen to you?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors