(Closed) Pre-Engagement did you tell him what kind of ring you wanted? Or did he ask?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Pre-Engagement, did you tell him what kind of ring you wanted? Or did he ask?
    i dropped subtle hints on my own, he did not ask. (please explain below) : (14 votes)
    8 %
    I took a risk and emailed him links and pictures, on my own. (how did he react?) : (25 votes)
    14 %
    He asked me to email him with ideas. I gladly accepted. : (31 votes)
    18 %
    He took me shopping for a ring, his idea. : (35 votes)
    20 %
    We went ring shopping together, I somewhat talked him into it. : (28 votes)
    16 %
    None of the above...he surprised me with a ring. : (16 votes)
    9 %
    Other.....describe below. : (25 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    2894 posts
    Sugar bee

    The last 3 all apply to me. He originally surprised me with a ring shopping trip. Then asked me to send him pics. Then we went shopping together till we decided to go the custom route.

    If he says a proposal is coming soon there is nothing wrong with letting him know you found a ring that is to die for. You’re not stepping on toes if he’s already planning on asking. Try not to overthink it. Just tell him you wanted him to show him a ring that you thought was amazing. It’s scarier in theory than it is in real life.

    Edit: Everything that happened for me happend over the course of like 7 months. In the middle of that I found a ring that was “the one” design wise. It would have been stupid not to show him and regret it for the rest of my life. Our jeweler told us something great – shop for what you love then try to find it within your budget. It was fantastic advice cause the ring that was “the one” was insanely expensive, but we found a replica under our budget after months of hunting. Worth it.

    Post # 4
    73 posts
    Worker bee

    I’ve been hinting that I’m waiting for it to happen.


    one day he asked me to email him what I like.

    Post # 5
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I always said I want a Canadian mined diamond, and if that wasn’t affordable, I wanted a authenticated non conflict diamond.

    Post # 6
    2462 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I voted other–he surprised me with the actual design, but not the proposal itself. we’d been talking about getting engaged, and so I asked if he wanted my input, and he said no. So I didn’t end up giving him any input.

    Post # 8
    2894 posts
    Sugar bee

    It’s not impossible to get. And feeling nervous is a normal reaction. Sit him down. Doesn’t have to be an ordeal, just a quick “what do you think, cause I love it.” If there is a chance it could be gone in the next couple weeks I’d talk to him now.

    Post # 9
    584 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My grandmother sells jewlry. She knew the ring I was in love with. Hoping that he would go to her, and she would pull it out and be like this would be perfect for her.. Totally not what happend.

    He went to Kays insted!! I still love the rong! I love that he took the time to go out on his own and get!!

    Post # 10
    7312 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Getting engaged was a very open process for us. We had the wedding day vision, budget, and guest list established before we even started talking about a ring. Once we decided it was time to start ring shopping, he and I browsed online together, I went shopping in stores on my own, and we eventually went to a jeweler together to get a ring custom made for me. The ring was a substantial monetary purchase, and I couldn’t imagine either one of us spending that amount of $$ without consulting the other one for input. That’s just not how we operate as a couple. We are a team, and we make the big decisions together. Always.

    Post # 11
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You could always use my approach and make it humorous; I emailed SO (when there had been no talk of rings, but general “I want to be with you forever” understanding) when I found an estate ring that melded all my little-girl hopes/dreams into one. I started off by saying that I found this ring, and if he could indulge my girly fantasies for a minute or so, that this would be my dream ring to end all dream rings, reassured him that I am not trying to pressure him with the email, that it’s just for future (whenever that may be) information, and then ended the email. The benefit was that it opened the door for more discussion at least put it out there. It also was great b/c he wouldn’t have guessed that I liked that style otherwise. Take the bull by the horns and tell him 🙂

    Post # 12
    5371 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

    @claireos: I totally agree!

    Just try to make it a casual open conversation (: My SO and I looked at rings together online and discussed it a lot. I’m not 100% sure what the ring looks like but I picked out the setting. Hopefully he asks soon haha.

    Post # 13
    586 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    All I told him was I wanted yellow gold. I didn’t look at rings at all cause I felt I would find something I liked and he would end up not getting it. Worked out too cause I love the one he got me and it was a complete surprise.

    Post # 14
    2759 posts
    Sugar bee

    We got engaged before we had a ring (I popped the question in a most untraditional, low-key manner), and then looked around a bit together. I found a fun, gorgeous, inexpensive ring that fit our (nonexistent) budget in a local craft jewelry shop and bought it myself.

    Post # 15
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    He just asked me my opinion on rings yesterday!  Yay!

    Post # 16
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    It sounds like your guy really wants to do this on your own… and maybe that is more important than you getting the one specific ring you want? It is kind of sweet that he wants to pick something out ofr you isn’t it? 

    As for me, it was kind of me dropping hints. He never asked outright, but in the summer before we got engaged when I kind of knew/suspected that he was ring shopping, a few other people got engaged so I was able to tell him what I thought about those rings and kind of get my hints in there. Such as… oh her ring is beautiful! I just love solitaires. They seem so much more timeless to me than 3 stone or halo rings. Or oh i really liked the band on her ring but I’m not a fan of princess cut diamonds. I’d much rather have something less common like a cushion or radiant cut. That kind of thing. 

    Also, my husband is awesome and asked my Maid/Matron of Honor for her opinion once he found a few he liked, and she knew exactly what i wanted. 

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