Pre marital counseling.

posted 3 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Girasole:  We haven’t been to any yet – but will be as well. I dont think he will be studying you guys as much as you think. He just wants to make sure you guys believe in the same ways, and that you can work things out together, and have an open mind. I am sure he will do most of the talking, for the first one anyways! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’re doing some “counselling” of sorts right now. Because our minister is super-cool, it’s been really stress-free and very insightful. Hopefully you will have the same experience. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’ve never done it before but if you and your FI are absolutely sure that you are compatible, there is nothing to worry about. Relax.

Post # 6
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We did it and didn’t need as many sessions as he though haha. We literally ran out of things to talk about!

Post # 8
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Girasole:  First, don’t go in thinking that they the pastor is going to tell you whether or not you are right for each other. That is not his/her job. I didn’t go to a pastor and instead went to a social worker, but she didn’t take sides or tell us we aren’t compatible, and even though DH and I had talked about and agreed on all the major stuff, she actually was able to take the situations and make us think a little.

I liked her style becuase she gave us a 150 question survey that we couldn’t share with each other until our session. We were quite surprised at what stuff we did differ on, and we were able to discuss it at that time. It was a lot of fun, so much so that we opted to do the last 2 sessions that were manditory.

Post # 9
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We are great communicators so it has been fun so far, but we’ve only had one session. Our minister is super friendly though, so that helps. Also he’s cool with the fact that we live together, which also helps.

I think our next session is meant to be more hardcore, but we won’t be having it until March or April (we have to travel for it).

Post # 10
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Girasole:  Don’t worry about it!  We did pre-martial counselling and the first thing our priest told us was that no one was there to judge our relationship and decide whether or not we were compatible. Our premartial counselling consister of meetings with our priest and a weekend retreat where other married couples came and talked to us about different subjects.  The whole point of the entire process was to make sure we were on the same page and dicussed everything we needed to.  The topics we discussed were:

-How your family and your past affects who you are today

-Love Languages and how to make sure you are fulfilling your parent’s needs

-How to fightand and communicate effectively

-Finances (nothing too specific, just general tips and strategies)

We did a Catholic retreat so we also talked about NFP and the Sacrament of Marriage.  So you might have some conversations about similar things depending on your particular faith.

H and I had a very solid relationship going into the counselling but we still found it incredibly helpful.  I learned about love languages and the tips on how to fight were useful.  We decided that, if all else fails, the counselling gave us a common language to use going forward.

Good luck and don’t stress!

Post # 11
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Girasole:  Don’t worry! I was so nervous as well but really, it was all for nothing. I’m not sure how your counseling is structured, by fi and I are getting married in a Lutheran church and we have to go to two four hour sessions with the pastor and two other couples. Our first session was two weeks ago, our second and final is tomorrow. The first session we just talked through the meaning of marriage and how it fits in with religion, read through some bible passages, talked about compromise, etc. The pastor also took us through the church and gave us a better idea of how things will go on the actual wedding day. We had some “homework” which was just a personality test fi and I had to take and 5 questions to discuss, which was actually quite fun. 

I’m assuming yours will be somewhat like ours, so what I’m saying is – don’t worry about it!!! 🙂 It’s actually quite fun, in my opinion 🙂

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