Post # 1
So…I have been contemplating going to pre-marital counseling. FI and I are not religious and our officiant will not require any courses; however, I was thinking pre-marital counseling at a private practice may be a smart idea to prepare us for marriage. FI is also interested in going.
The problem is (or lack of a problem actually)…FI or I don’t really have any major issues to discuss. Things aren’t perfect and we have our little tiffs, but nothing major.
I’m worried about going and us all staring blankly at each other and the counselor being like “uh…why did you come here?”
Did anyone attend pre-marital counseling with no major issues to discuss? How did it go? Was it worthwhile?
Thanks in advance 🙂
Post # 3
@Skittles131: I say it is worth it. There may be some topics that you and your fiancé have not yet discussed.
Post # 4
@Skittles131: This was our situation as well. I LOVED the experience and we have said that we will do something similar again and again in the future (ie: kids, retirement). For us we found that although we had talked about all the the subjects before, we hadn’t got into the nitty gritty details. And a lot of the things we figured out were by no means revolutionary but will be a small thing that will help our relationship in the future.
For example, one worksheet we had to answer things about family values seperately and then compare. We realized that he/his family doesn’t really make a big deal about birthdays and mine really does. For us, this means that he should make a point of remembering my birthday and celebrating it. But I don’t need to stress about his.
We also had to draw a picture of what we want our life to look like in 10 years and then talk about how we’re going to get there… We always knew our goals and dreams, but we quickly realized that we needed to get on them quickly because we have a lot of stuff to do in the next few years!
We kind of went in with the mindset “what have we got to lose” and although it was fairly corny we really enjoyed it and turned it into a super lovey-dovey weekend.
Post # 5
My FI and I are currently taking a pre-marriage class at our church. I think it’s a really wonderful idea! They give us worksheets and questions to ask each other on dates that we have never thought to ask or discuss- even after 5 years- it really helps us open up, get in deep conversation, reveal some feelings and sometimes laugh a lot.
Not only that but it’s great because it’s not really a “work out your issues” type coutselling, pre marriage counseling is more like “Here is what’s going to change in your life, here’s how to work with each other, here’s how to keep each other happy, deal with finances, settle arguments, etc”
It’s to take your relationship deeper and prepare you for what’s ahead, very uplifting.
My class is once a week for 10 weeks, we have only been to three and I have already learned so much!
I would recommend counseling to anyone and everyone.
Post # 6
@Skittles131: We did. We practically never fight…. like… I cant even think of one.. ever. But we did premarital and I found it absolutely invaluable.
Our counselors (our pastor and his wife who is a family counselor professionally) walked us through a book – How to Save your Marraige Before it Starts. it came with a workbook for each of us, and asked kinda probing q’s that neither of us had thought about. We also learned very valuable communication skills.
I STRONGLY encourage EVERY couple to go to premarital before marriage (or at any point).