(Closed) pre marital counseling, starts tomorrow!!

posted 7 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We haven’t started ours yet bacause FI and I both had to have emergency surgery about a month apart (I swear we do everything together lol). But I am nervous because we are about to start too! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

YAY!!!!!

First meeting is kinda like an “interview” he may ask about your upbringing… parents marriage status.. what growing up was like… how ya’ll met.. how do your parents feel about everything.. and just stuff like that.

He’ll probably go over some kind of “purity” like… whatever you’ve done till now I’m not going to ask, but what I am going to ask is that from here on out you two make it a point to stay pure to God and each other.

We used Preparing for Marriage with our Pastor and it was GREAT! we loved the structure and the 2 worksheets in the beginning are fantastic!

Good luck and enjoy the process =)

Post # 5
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We went through it.  Topics include children, future goals (houses, jobs, etc.) finances/bank accounts, families, etc.  The pastor discussed the Biblical perspective on these topics.  If you and your FI have differences of opinions on any of these topics the pastor should spend quite a bit of time there helping you two sort things out.

BTW, at the first meeting he will probably talk to you each separately to get to know you and guage where you guys are.

Post # 6
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We went through it and I LOVED it!  Oddly enough for us, we did our counseling through Skype! lol  We were still in California with our minister in VA, which was amazing to be able to do that.

The first meeting was a lot of answering questions about both of us, the wedding date, things about our family and background etc.  Our minister was UM and did not ask any questions related to purity or give us any advice on the subject.  The only time sex ever came up was a brief mention of sexual expectation as the result of a relationship survey we took.

I feel like our minister focused on bringing up topics for FI and I to discuss.  He wouldn’t say I was right and FI was wrong, but more brought things to the forefront for us to discuss among ourselves and to be aware of prior to entering into marriage.  A lot of people I know took a survey of some sort, which again helps the minister gauge similiarities and differences between you two, as well at see whether or not particular topics had been dicussed, such as money, children, family involvement etc.

It was one of my most favorite parts of getting married and I am so happy we went through it.  Best of luck to you!

Post # 7
Member
27 posts
Newbee

My FI and I attend sort of a Mega-church, so they have pre-marital workshops rather than one on one counseling. We’re thinking of attending a 5 weekworkshop that begins this week. Regardless if we do it this time around or next time they do the work shop we definitely will be attending it no matter what! Good luck! let us know how it goes! 😉

Post # 8
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We just finished our premarital counseling last week, and honestly, we loved it! Our pastor was great. He didn’t just lecture about sex or anything like that. We talked about our current families and how those relationships will affect our future family. We talked about communication: how we communicate and what kinds of things can hinder communication. We talked about finances and work, friends, hobbies. We talked about our strengths and weaknesses as a couple, and we talked about our faith.

Our pastor never lectured. He listened, he participated in discussion and then he shared his own insights, experiences and advice. He counseled us on the Biblical perspective of certain things, but it was all supportive and encouraging.

In other words, don’t be nervous! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We are currently doing pre-marital counseling! One more left! We have enjoyed it so far..ours was more doing a chapter of a work book (“Before you say I DO”) and at our meetings going back and sharing what we learned and wrote down. We didn’t enjoy doing all that homework cause as you know planning a wedding can be quite stressful! So that kinda added to the stress! But we both agree that we are glad we went over topics such as communication, finaces, jobs, children, and of course sex. lol we had that one last night..it was akward at some points but it was nothing to fear. WE glad we took it, and im sure we will even more after we are married! I also we definately recomend in your own time the “Love and Respect” and “Five love languages” Awesome books! Take a look! Good luck to everyone else going through pre-marital!

Post # 11
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Great article.

I was gifted a book from my mom that was WONDERFUL.. not a “cover to cover” read but one that you could pick up and go to the relevant chapter when needed.

“Inviting God to Your Wedding – and Keeping God in Your Marriage”

It was FANTASTIC and she actuall wrote a chapter/part on what your article was about…

Here it is

Chapter: The Myth of the Dream Wedding

excerpt:

“…So when the time comes to plan a wedding, it’s no wonder that the bride is not only more prepared to take on the task, but in some ways she is unwilling to share it becuase she has already invested so many years of dreaming.

But lets think about this for a minute. If you’re not including your fiance in the wedding plans, how will you include him in the marriage?

It’s quite possible that planning your wedding will be the first major project you and your fiance have ever worked on together….”

Enjoy your packets and enjoy the process…

I must say that even though DH and I didn’t have “problems”.. as we really commited ourselves to the prep, God did some really awesome things in our hearts individually… We each overcame some great things… even some things that we’d dealt with since being kids.. me since I was a toddler!….. Really what did it is there were little things, heart hurts, thought processes… little stuff.. but still stuff that I knew I didn’t want in my marriage and sure enough God work all those things out in us! WooHoo!!!!

Congrats on get even closer to that abudant life God wants for us!

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