- 9 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
I’m engaged to be married in December. My fiance is 8 years younger than me at 25. Going into this relationship, I knew that I would bear the load of the finances. I make a little over twice his salary…but I have supported myself, so I was okay with being able to support the both of us, with his salary added in.
That brings me to today, which will probably lead to our first major fight. I had a hell of a morning at work, and he had the day off, so we planned to have lunch. I thought it would be just what I needed to calm me enough to be able to face the rest of the workday. Boy, was I wrong…
He dropped a bombshell on me. He was overdrawn on his checking account last month because he said he accidentally paid his car note twice in July. However, today, he tells me that the second payment didn’t go through, so he is late on his August payment.
I asked him if I needed to cover his payment, and he said the his car loan bank hasn’t called him yet to let him know he’s late…so he’s not going to do anything about it yet. I asked him if he thought he should be proactive and contact them first, and he said no.
What do I do? Do I step back and consider this incident none of my business and let him take care of it his way? Do I confront him again about it?
I got into heavy debt when I was in college. I worked my ass off and other than my wedding dress (which will be paid off by my parents), I no longer have any credit card debt. I’m proud of being able to support myself on my own, but now I’m worried about having to fully support him. Now I’m not sure that he isn’t being upfront about his debt and I’m nervous about what I’m walking into.
He had also agreed that we would pay for our wedding, and leave our parents out of it…but two months into our engagement, he hasn’t given me a penny for the wedding. He is also planning on returning to college in the spring to get finish his degree…and now I’m wondering if I’m going to end of footing the entire bill for that as well. Getting his degree would be extremely valuable for our future…but I don’t think I can afford to pay the house note, my car note, the monthly bills AND his tuition.
I don’t want to fight about money…because it’s only money. I love him and have no doubts that I want to spend my life with him…and I don’t want to end up resenting him because of money either. I don’t know how to approach this without getting upset or fighting.