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Anyone else out there planning the wedding before they're engaged? I never thought I would be that girl, but I am. And I don't mean just looking around and getting ideas...I've bought my dress!
Scary, I know. I got an email about a Priscilla of Boston sample sale (prices starting at $199), which I promptly showed to the BF. He agreed that I should check it out, and CAME WITH ME. I told him I didn't want to go alone or with girlfriends without being engaged. We agreed ahead of time that if I found a fantastic deal, I could buy.
I totally didn't think I would find anything...buuuuut I did. I found a beautiful strapless ball gown with chantilly lace overlay, corset back, French bustle detail, and lovely beading around the waist and neckline. Best part? It was a $6950 dress for which I paid...wait for it...$500! It's a sample size so I will have to have a lot of alterations, but even if I have to pay $1000 for that, it's still an amazing deal.
I love it and I can't wait to wear it! I used to be embarrassed to call a venue and ask for pricing (at BF's request) without even being engaged, but now that I've gone off the deep end by buying the dress, I feel pretty shameless about pre-planning. I know I can't be the only one out there...what all have you ladies done so far without your erings?
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We're married now, but we did start planning before we even became engaged. We actually had our ceremony venue booked 6 months before he popped the question. As long as you're both on the same page, I don't see anything wrong with it. :)
I am not big on the idea of buying a dress before you have started planning the wedding, but I think your situation deserves an exception. Not only did your BF encourage you to go, he went with you! And that deal?? Amazing. Just amazing. Congrats!
The dress is beautiful and I say it's no point in missing out on a great deal. As long as he's in on it, I don't see anything wrong with it. Congrats!
I like to think of it as "wedding research!" :P I'm actually keeping a lady in waiting blog about wedding stuff. Ultimately, everything I come up with is meaningless until my man gives his input. Besides, I don't have money to buy anything so it never goes past idea gathering, haha.
That dress is AMAZING! And what a pricetag, AND your guy was on board with it! How cool!
wow, what a dress! and if the boy gave you the all clear and went with you, you've got nothing to worry about :-) i was in the same boat. i was never really the type to dream about a wedding [most likely because i was convinced i wasn't getting married...such a dramatic proclamation from a poor dater] so when i started researching i did it with a secret shame. lol. but once i told the boy what i was doing, he was fine with it so that was extremely freeing. while he wants to wait until we're officially engaged before he takes a look at what i've found so far, i've been milking him for suggestions and opinions since i started. i'm sure he'll like a least half of the stuff i found. i'm hoping!
You ladies are awesome...I'm so excited about having it, but I can't really share the excitement with my friends and family b/c at this point they're all like, wtf is he waiting for?? minutiae I love that you have a blog, I am going to have to check it out for ideas! and tea, i'm sure he'll like your ideas too, my man and I went to a wedding recently and he wanted to compare notes about what we liked and what we would do differently, and I was surprised that we were so similar in our preferences. I mean, we're contemplating marrying these guys for a reason, right?
ok so i am also on this boat of planning but not REALLY planning. But I think if I saw that perfect dress and it was the perfect price I would have jumped on it too so qudos to you for having the guts! You will look beautiful, I'm sure!
Happy planning.
I didn't start booking vendors until after I had the ring on my finger, but I had started researching before we were officially engaged. My vision for the wedding changed A LOT in the later months, but I'm glad I did it, I had a good starting off point for once I was engaged.
gorgeous dress! i'm sucker for a good sale so i probably would have given in and bought something myself!!
i have everything already planned out... in my head! hahaha! i've actually bookmarked a site where i've seen 2 or 3 great dresses that i would like to buy (3 of course because it will depend on what season the wedding is in ;)) and i have some ideas about locations for the wedding. sigh. still a naked finger though!
cheers to being shameless :)
love that dress!! if he's encouraging you, i definitely think it's okay to call and get prices etc.
Haha thanks everyone! I am not going to lie, I kind of love having it in the closet so I can go and look at it every once in awhile. BF wants to forget what it looks like though so I'm taking it to my parents' to store the next time I go home until it's time to go take it for alterations.
Budgetbeautiful, are you getting married in the NoVa area?
Oops sorry Budgetbeautiful, I mean "did" you get married in NoVa (just looked at your profile).
You go girl with that pre-planning!! I pre-plan every day....but I try to hide it.... I am just soooo excited to start planning! I have been holding off the dress shopping and venue visits until I get the actual diamond. I did make an inspiration board like a crazy person last weekend though....I can't upload it because the file is too large but.... That is an AMAZING deal!
of course i'm preplanning, but i haven't visited any of the venues nor gone dress shopping... i have a loose idea but not anything definite. i suppose i am waiting to fight my battle with him then.
@hoyalawya, thanks for that vote of confidence. he's already vetoed some of my ideas though, lol. only i could get ideas vetoed when i'm not even officially planning!
WOW - that dress is absolutely beautiful and what a bargain!
@Minutaie - I am "researching" like you said! I have been gathering pictures, mainly off Weddingbee!!
The man and i have decided on the church and pretty much decided on the venue for the reception, but the rest is all just in a file on my computer!!
Cheers to Pre-planning! Hopefully it takes the pressure of the man so he can pop the question in his own time!
I have also requested information from venues, got the bridal gown catalogs, searched destination ideas... although it freaks him out a little, I havn't done anything big like buy a dress! (My BF not as supportive of that idea as yours!) He doesn't understand, when we are getting married it will be my 1st or maybe 2nd year teaching and I'm not going to have time to sit around and plan a wedding - it's a full time job in itself! If he supports you - go for it!
Totally preplanning out my ears. We'll have a super short engagement so I have to- I won't have enough time to plan if I don't start now.
First let me say that was an awesome deal on that dress. I didn't know that you could save that much!
I don't see anything wrong with pre-planning, especially in this economy. I feel that you have to be more prepared now so that you can save money. My boyfriend and I have been dating since high school and college and I am so ready to marry him.
We have been ring shopping and he has told me that he wants to be engaged by Christmas. I can't wait! We have set a tentative date for next August. I have a folder that I created with One Note, I have organized my ideas and when I find things online I copy and paste them to the proper catagory. He has no problem with this because he knows that we have a lot to do if we plan on getting married next year.
I have signed up on different websites so I have a lot of truck show/ sample sale info marked in my calender already.
I'm definetely preplanning. A lot. We've agreed on a long engagement, however..I want to have time to enjoy the engagment! I don't want to spend every second stressed about planning - the more I get done now, the less there will be to get done then!
YES! But I guess I deserve an exception as well. :) The ring has been bought!!! My BF had to ask me to email the jeweler we'd been working with on my exact requirements (i.e. tell her I want a HUGE rock. :) Kidding... well, sorta). They had a 1-day loose diamond sale last Saturday and he went in to haggle and then purchased. Now the surprise of this is that I don't know WHEN I'll get the ring or WHAT he even purchased. However, he did say it'd be very soon and perhaps booking the venue we wanted would be a good idea (as it tends to fill up quick). My mom called and they had 1 DAY left in the spring/summer which is ideally when we wanted to get hitched (well, I say 'we'... but the BF is so go with the flow, he could care less. Really it's *I* that wants to get married in spring/summer). So we put the deposit down and booked it. July 16th, 2010!!!
So the pre-planning has started though I won't be implementing lots of those plans until the ring is on my finger. For example, no dress shopping will be done until we are formally engaged. But I'm relieved to have snagged the winery we want to have our wedding.
I'm over the moon excited over the next few month's developments. The particular place he ordered from takes 4-6 weeks to even have the ring made as they're all custom designed there. So I know I have at least a 3-5 week wait. :) And knowing him, once he picks it up, he'll torture me for as long as possible.
33 years old and finally planning a wedding. It was worth the wait. I'm so lucky to have found my boyfriend. He's the best and I couldn't have imagined my life with anyone else (i.e. the other 'toads' from my past).
Wedding Research! Yes: guilty!
We're far away from even be engaged. (Here in holland it is not common to really get engaged. But I'd like to! :D) We probably getting married in 2012. Because then my BF and I are 10 years together (Gasp, I know)
Love to look at tons of photo's and deside on a colorscheme..
Just wait like 18 months till the real planning!
Your dress is beautiful and what a great deal!! I have not gone so far as to buy a dress, and I still feel sheepish about calling and asking for information, but I have been planning as well. After talking to my BF we picked a month, so I have made a planning schedule and found information on tons of vendors.
Thank you for this post - my friends have been giving me such a hard time about the little planning I have done, it is nice to know there are other people out there like me!
Hoyalawya2010: you must go to Georgetown law!
I live in Arlington and go to GW Law :)
ScarletJwl: I do! What a small world! What year are you? I'm a 3L and I'm sooo over it at this point. Waiting to graduate and waiting to get engaged are making me so stressed out!
@linspurdu: Welcome!! what a great story!!! i'd be bursting at the seams if it were me lol!!
i guess i am preplanning as much as i can, especially since m thinks we can have a wedding planned in two weeks and on a 1500 budget. lmao i really think he's doing this to tease me, ummm right?!
i refuse to really call and check with vendors because i want to have the ring on, however i do stalk the venue's calendars (LMAO) to make sure they still have days etc available!!
okay i checked with a friendor and the photographer/makeup artist that i want are available most of the saturdays in may and if we have to make an exception to use them, then we will. I also checked with the venue that I really want. I was spooked because one of my favorite vendors is booked every Saturday through March! M has no idea and I don't have a date set or anything like that, but I do want to prepare myself if the venue isn't available. He wants the Feb-March wedding because he has researched and it's the best time to visit the Caribbean (really now?!)
I too am guilty of pre-planning but since I highly doubt my BF will want any part in planning the actual wedding then I am simply doing myself the favor of doing my research early.. Hehe. I am planning a destination wedding (in my head) which takes time to plan anyway.
As long as you are sure that it is the dress you want and that a promise of marriage with this guy is in the future... then fine. I say with this guy because consider if things end, would you want to wear THIS dress with someone else?
It is a great deal, so it is pretty hard to resist.
I'm the type of person whose ideas all changed once I was engaged so I took care not to do much planning ahead of time lol
I'm totally pre-planning. I already have my venue booked lol. When my BF and I first went to see the place I was nervous someone would ask where my ring was but no one has ever mentioned it.
As long as your BF is on the same page then I say plan away!
I'm definitely pre-planning with my boyfriend's approval. It's a long story but I had a pseudo-proposal (there was no ring, we just had a long discussion about our relationship and he asked me) last September and have been waiting for the real thing since.
A lot of our mutual friends have gotten married lately (A LOT - we had four weddings in October alone) and we were asked non-stop about when we were getting married. My reply was "I don't know" his was "sometime next summer" (as in summer 2010).
WHAT??
So after hearing that I sat my boyfriend/FI (never really know which to call him) down and said WTF? We've been ring shopping and actually have a diamond that we bought when we were on vacation in August but haven't found a setting that we like so there has been no official progress. We talked and we agree that the summer is the best time for us and our family/friends but with less than 9 months until the wedding date, the pressure was on and we don't know when the ring will be done (it's being custom made).
SOOO with his approval, my mom and I have begun planning. We've only just started but I think it's important for us to get the ball rolling especially since we're having a destination wedding and need to get our save-the-date cards out soon.
Nope..you're not alone!
We are also preplanning because our engagement would be less than 6 months. And btw..i too have a dress..it's a Casablanca style 1873 (got it at a thrift store for 25! i'll need to do some alterations and replace a satin covered button buuut heck of a dress!)
That's great that your BF was so cool about it..that means its coming soon :)
We did a LOT of pre-plannin. Like, we had several vendors booked before the ring. FI was completely on board with it - he just wasn't able to get the ring yet because of finances. Obviously I am now engaged and I don't regret how we did it!
I think pre-planning is a great way to avoid bridesilla-ness. Also, if you're on a budget, it makes sense to give yourself more time to find better deals. Kudos to your girl!
Thanks for the post, I'm doing the same thing and it's nice to know I'm not the only one. If the boy is with you on it, then why not?
Kudos on that fabulous deal! Why not take advantage? Who knows if such a great deal will come around again after it's "official" anyways? Most likely not
As for me, I'm guilty, guilty, guilty! I took advantage of the Cards and Pockets 25% off sale and ordered the pocketfolds + envelopes. The BF saw the sample and liked them too, so I ordered with no shame 
I would have bought that dress even if I didn't have a bf, come on now...lol jk
I'm pre-planning as I type ha...its great though because it gives you a reality check andddd you don't go into planning a wedding knowing anything ..pre-planning takes a bit of the stress and craziness out of it..so if ever my bf proposes (hopefully next year) then I have a game plan, and I'm not freaking out. It's like with school while in high school no one told me how to apply for financial aid nor the realistic side of things..instead of making the right decisions I made wrong ones and delayed my entrance into college..I definitely don't want to take that risk with planning something so important...so in the mean time I dream, plan, and have fun with it...it can't hurt to dream
I'm all for pre-planning. Nothing wrong with being extra prepared. I'm planning now as I wait. I've already made some minor wedding purchases.
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