Post # 1
I have suffered from panic attacks for a few years now and I have always had them under control, and if needed I would take a xanax to calm down. However, till recently I’ve been having them everyday, waking up in the morning crying,heart racing everything. This all started a few weeks ago, when I started thinking about the actual wedding day and whether or not I would have a panic attack. I started thinking what if I have an attack while I’m walking down the aisle and I can’t go through with it. I have been with my fiance for 10 years and have known for as long as I can remember that he is the man I want to marry. We have 5 months to go, most of the planning is done except for the little things and I can’t stop thinking that I’m going to freak out on the day of. My mind starts trying to figure out why I’m so anxious and what is causing this, does this mean I’m not making the right choice, do I not want all the attention on me, am I not ready yet. I know I don’t want anyone else, he is my world but these are the doubts that go through my head. To add to all this we have just sold our place and are moving in with his parents.
I feel like this is suppose to be the happiest time of my life and instead I’m filled with anxiety and sadness. My fiance is so excited and understands that I have fears but that just gets me even more depressed knowing how excited he is to marry me and I can’t get passed my anxiety. I don’t know if its the actual idea of getting married, the move, the 200 + people we are going to be having or the fact the I’m actually realizing that my life is moving on and I’m growing up. We’re not just going to be an engaged couple anymore, I’m going to be a wife and we’re going to be starting a family. I know that once this is all over I’ll look back and laugh at how nervous I was but its actually convincing myself that everything is going to be ok is the hard part.
Post # 3
Wow; I know what you’re going through. I don’t have fear of panic about my wedding, but I have had fear of panic in other situations. I had a panic attack in a particular situation and now I fear panicking in that situation again. If you’ve ever had a panic attack you start to fear the panic attack itself, and the fear keeps perpetuating itself. So you over-analyze it. You think if you can identify the reasons then you can make it stop. That’s probably why you are coming up with all these possible reasons. However, I think that none of them are the case. I think you are happy to be with him and you are ready, and what you are really afraid of is the anxiety and panic itself. You think that might be the case?
Post # 4
I also take xanax as needed for panic attacks. As the wedding got closer I found myself taking them daily as well. Now, I will say we were in a slightly different situation because my stress was all related to being concerned about the little details of the day going wrong.. I never had questions about going through with the wedding. If you really aren’t sure you want to get married it may be a good idea to hold off a little while. That being said.. once I got to a point where I was taking xanax daily I decided to see my doctor since that’s not how xanax is meant to be used. I ended up going on a daily anti anxiety drug (Lexapro) and it was a life changer. I seriously felt like a different person.. I stopped freaking out about little stuff that just doesn’t matter. I would talk to your doctor about this. The best part is that you can still take xanax if things get really stressful and you need it.
ETA: I also came back off the Lexapro about a month after my wedding with no issues.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re going through this! You can be OK though, I really believe. Have you seen a therapist for this lately? Cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to be really, really effective in getting past something like this, and you might want to talk out your reasons for anxiety with someone just to make sure that you are confident about getting married (which you do sound) and all of the other life changes you’re going through. There are programs avaliable online as well, I personally can recommend the Panic Puzzle by Rich Presta (google it if you’re interested – I have no investment in this but I have used it). And changing or increasing your medication is of course a possibility too; I just personally tend towards non-med approaches at least at first, so I don’t personally have any advice there.
You still have 5 months, which is plenty of time to get a hold on this and feel better, and prepared, so you can enjoy your wedding! I know its easier said than done, but fearing the panic only makes it worse. Channel your energy into getting better instead! I know you can do this.