Pre-Wedding Blues (30 days left)

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

CG4268: I don’t feel quite as bad as you are describing, however after the bulk of everything was booked/planned/paid for I felt a bit, blugh about the whole thing. Not that I am not excited for the wedding and honeymoon, but I just can’t be bothered with more wedding ‘stuff’. I am taking a little bit of time out to not do or think ANYTHING wedding related for a bit then I think I will be all revved up again. 

I think with all the excitment and planning initially, you sort of burn yourself out!

Don’t feel bad or beat yurself up about feeling liek this thought, not every bride is 100% wedding planner all of the time, and it’s so close, I can see why you would feel like this!

Post # 3
Member
8909 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Totally normal!  Just take a break for a few days and don’t do anything wedding-related that you don’t absolutely HAVE to do.  And when in doubt, remember the whole point of it… marrying the love of your life in front of all your important people!  (If it makes you feel any better, I wrote my wedding vows the morning of my wedding lol.)

Post # 4
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Completely normal! The whole process can be overwhelming. Take a few days off. Maybe see if FI or friends can help with some of the details. Soon it will be over and you will be missing it! Such an exciting time 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am 30 days away too and share some similiar feelings.  Not quite that severe, but  I can certainly understand.  I am just over it- LOL 

People are not RSVP’ing, I found out my dad (who is getting odder as he gets older) is not coming to the reception because in his words, “It’s just not his thing” My FI family is a pain… all combined makes me wish we just ran away and got married on the beach somewhere far away. 

I keep reminding myself that the most important thing is I will be married to the person I love most in this world and have really been focusing on that.  I say this quote a hundred times a day!  LOL

A

I suggest taking a break, relax, do some yoga, have a fun day completely not related to the wedding.  Don’t talk about the wedding to anyone for a few days. 

Post # 7
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

(((HUGS!)))) This is all challenging to say the least!  I UNDERSTAND completely. 

I just hired a Day of Coordinator and that has helped with the stress level.  I needed to know someone would run the set up and day of so I can relax and enjoy it.  Maybe you should consider that?  But I don’t have much help, my mother hasn’t been too interested.  But it sounds like you need to take a break from yours!  Can you tell her you need to take a breather for a bit? 

Post # 8
Member
760 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Gold Hill Gardens

CG4268:  I had the same feelings, but mine were compressed into the last two weeks before the wedding. I’m a teacher, and school got out two weeks before our wedding. We had Kleenex packets and I had to be convinced not to put “For those pesky ‘allergies'” I was OVER IT. I agree with PP who suggested taking some time off from planning your wedding. Even if it’s just going to a movie with your FI. Try doing something with NO wedding talk at all.

Post # 9
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

 

CG4268:  Shoot, I feel almost the same way and my wedding is in March! I’m just not a big planner so all this fuss and the appointments and getting everything “just right’ just makes me like eeeeek. I just want it all done and planned so I can show up lol.

Post # 10
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee

Not quite at that level, but we’re around a month away and I’m exhausted – mentally, emotionally and physically. I’m trying to make an effort to have more quality time with pseudo “date nights” (which have become rare given that we just moved into a new house in a new city and have this wedding to finish planning haha) and just “me” time.

 

You and I have the same momzilla – I love her, but mine calls multiple times a day, emails and texts as well. Of course, everything is wedding-related and is a question that needs to be dealt with immediately. I feel bad but I just told her I’ll look into it and left her hanging for a day or two (it wasn’t remotely important, I should add).

I’m looking forward to my bach weekend. I don’t even want to go nuts or anything..I just really really need to get away.

Post # 11
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee

Also, a day of coordinator was the best decision we made. I don’t know what I would do without this amazing woman and her crazy checklists 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I feel you … I have felt like that the past few weeks. I was more aggravated that I have not been done in advance as I had expected. I had to change the photographer last minute and I just paid for the cake today. I also have not bothered to deal with the seating chart. I know that some people may want to sit with people they know. I am also annoyed that I cannot get a straight answer about how many tables we are having. There are only going to be 50 or so people. My wedding is in about 2 weeks, by the way….

I did spend time with FI, went to a much needed comedy event, and I try to simply relax when I can. I should probably mention that I am in college. I will be done RIGHT before the wedding. It is crazy, pure and simple. I also have a job and a child. There are not enough hours in a day to do all the freaking things that I have to do! Just relax when you can. I had a bit of an emotional outburst with FI because he was procrastinating with handling the few things that were his responsibility. He apologized and has been taking care of things on his end. Lean on you FI. Try not to worry about the things that you cannot change and just remember that the most important thing is what comes after the wedding (marriage). Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It really sucks that you cannot take a break. Even if it is for an hour, maybe exercise, read a book you like, or something simple and small to take the edge off. Another poster told me that I should really consider sipping some wine, and I am going to do this. I barely drink, but the craziness is getting REAL old. I had the same issue with my photog situation. He does not yet know that he is fired, even though I have already hired a new one. I want him to be excited about getting more of my money and then snatch the carpet out from under him! I also had my MOH’s relative asked if she could invite another person YESTERDAY… Like, come on people?! I know that you cannot tell that I am stressed because I function well despite it, but enough already?! The crap cannot keep piling on.

You may need to speak with your fiance and ask him to do something to help you. Even if it is something small. Even my FI did not realize how much I was dealing with (because I am that damn good ) so yours may not realize it either. It might not hurt to ask. I ended up crying as I asked, but I am still glad that it happened. We are not robots. It is ok to feel stressed. I used to NEVER think that I would sob or get angry in regards to the wedding, but I now get the whole “bridezilla” thing. You and I don’t have the luxury of focusing solely on wedding things, so it can be rough. Are you going on a honeymoon right after? I keep thinking about that when I get stressed. I am almost there. I can smell the ocean and feel the sand between my toes. I will be taking my battery out of my phone right before I get on the ship. No more drama, just relaxing! I know that it will be well worth all of the hassle!!! You will get through this! 

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