Post # 1
Hi Encores, I’m about to marry the love of my life. We both had first marriages and divorces. Both were ugly. Long story short, we’ve never been happier with eachother and are thrilled about our spring wedding.
We’ve just closed on a new house and will be moving a few weeks before the wedding. While packing, I’ve tried to get rid of everything that obviously belonged to one of our exs – pictures, random trinkets, etc. The only thing left is THE BED.
We’re currently sleeping on the same bed my fiance shared with his ex-wife (living in the house they shared too). It’s actually a great bed – one of those fancy Sleep Number deals. However, I REALLY don’t want to bring it with us to the new house. I can’t describe it – I feel like it will bring pieces of her into our new home….a home that is for my husband and I to start our new lives together. I do believe that objects carry energy and memories….but it’s a $5,000 bed! Am I being crazy?? The movers come next week. HELP.
My fiance is willing to do whatever I choose – I guess I just feel guilty dumping a very expensive bed because of who slept on it….but…yuck 🙁
Post # 3
I understand where you’re coming from, I promise, but if you get a cheaper bed, YOU’LL FEEL IT!
How about you put on sale on craigslist/amazon and use the money to buy a new bed?
Post # 4
Post # 5
I would suggest selling it on craigslist and using that money for a new bed.
Post # 6
I agree with PPs, sell it and put the money towards a new one! I wouldn’t want to keep the bed either.
Post # 7
Ditch the bed – FI has had one he bought with the ex-wife since I’ve known him and we are luckily getting a new one as a wedding gift.
Post # 8
@soontobemrsemr: It’s totally ok to want and get a new bed!!! I would ask for a new one too… I actually did! We aren’t married yet (Nov) but when I moved in, another was bought. Plus bedding as it was from his first marriage.
Post # 9
I would ditch the bed. If it’s something that bothers you then the cost of a new bed is worth the peace of mind. You’re getting a new house, new husband, so a new bed fits right in.
Post # 10
Ditch the bed. No amount of money is worth that nasty little thought in the back of your head of ‘she slept here too’ and what that thought will do. New bed, new sheets, fresh start!
Post # 11
If you can afford it, get a new bed. If not, do a clensing with a smudge stick.
Post # 12
I’m extremely practical, and I wouldn’t ditch a $5K bed just because someone I don’t like once slept on it. But if you think it’s going to have bad associations for you to the point of not being able to ignore it, then you could try to sell it. But in this bedbuggy day and age, I wouldn’t expect much for it.
Post # 13
I would totally keep the bed, but I don’t think objects carry energy. I think a bed is a bed, and it would be silly to waste something so expensive.
Post # 14
I went through this a year ago with my SO and the stuff he had with his ex wife. I temporarily lived with him at the house they bought together until we bought our house… it was a beautiful home but I was going crazy being there! My SO didn’t want to throw out their mattress because it cost so much money and he was not backing down on it. So then I told him fine, we’ll keep it but I want all the sheets, pillows, etc. that I had with my ex. It made him realise pretty quickly what I meant and so we bought a new one.
The old mattress is now in our spare room, but if we can find someone who wants it, it’s theirs. I hate it being in our home and it’s too big for that room anyway. The bed I am fine with, mattress not so much.
I was making the bed once when I was living in his old house and one of the pillows had her initial on it. One that I had slept on! I all but threw up lol.
ETA: (and I can’t believe I’m telling people about this). It wasn’t practical for us to throw out the couch that they had together so we have it in our house. One day after finding some stuff from their marriage that upset me (I’m immature sometimes clearly), I called a friend and she came over with a bottle of wine and a bunch of cleaning stuff. We scrubbed the HELL out of that thing! She made some weird baking soda thing and we “cleaned out all ex wife energy”, whatever that means! Either way, it did actually help.
Post # 15
Nope, I would get rid of the bed. It would bother me that I was sleeping on the same bed that my fiance and his ex slept in together..
Post # 16
@soontobemrsemr: FYI…it’s illegal to sell beds (matresses, to be exact), so that’s not an option. Get some sage and cleanse that sleep number!