Post # 1
I’m having a really bad time of it and feel like every time I start to relax and get excited about our wedding (1 week away), something always goes wrong.
My Fiance and I have just had a huge row. I blew up because I didn’t know that he was planning on working 2 days before the wedding, and unfortunately we are very behind on sorting things out for the wedding day. I’m working on Monday and Tuesday and I had assumed that we had Wednesday and Thursday to deal with the things we haven’t been able to complete. Instead, he is now working on Wednesday. We also have no one else to help us. I’m panicking so much that I can’t deal with all the last minute changes that are coming up.
I know that many people work before the wedding day and it wouldn’t have bothered me if we were all organised, but I’m worried about being left on my own to sort everything out. So far, I have organised most of the wedding and paid for all of it. I did have a lot of fall outs with my Fiance because of his lack of initiative to help with things, and now I feel like I’m making a huge mistake in marrying him. I also feel like no one else in either mine or his family care about the wedding – in fact some of them are working on the morning of the wedding and so won’t be making much of an effort at the event.
I know it isn’t right that I keep having doubts about my Fiance, but we have been through a lot over 5 years together and the problems only started since the wedding planning.
Are these just wedding jitters? I hope they pass soon because so far I haven’t enjoyed any part of the wedding planning process and instead feel very alone.
Post # 3
Honestly, I think these are wedding jitters and you’re seriously overwhelmed. I fully expect to be right where you are very soon.
Perhaps you could find a way to communicate to family and friends that you could really use some help and some support this week. It’s possible that the people around you assume that 1) you’re so capable and organized that you’ll get it all done and don’t need help and/or 2) enough other people are helping that they don’t need to.
I’d sent out a quick, cheery message to some of the people you’re close to, letting them know that your work schedules are making last minute preparations tricky, and you could use help from anyone who has time/energy to spare. List a few of the things you need help with (ex: Thursday afternoon favor sorting, Saturday morning chair set-up, etc.). I don’t know if you’ll get everything covered that way, but even if people help pick up a little of the slack, it will make a difference for you.
Plus the asking for help might feel kind of good since you’re feeling like you’re drowning in it right now.
Hope it gets better!
Post # 4
Thank you very much for that, I’m going to have to pick up the slack myself because my family are all far away and FI’s family aren’t helpful. There are a number of people unwell as well, my sister is also dealing with a fussy toddler so no help there. I had a pampering day tomorrow, but I’ve cancelled it to do more wedding stuff. Oh well.
Post # 5
Make your fiance help you.Each day after work commit to an hour knocking things off your list together.You shouldnt be doing everything.It is his wedding too.Good luck!
Post # 6
@Week2GoKet: If your only fighting about wedding things I wouldn’t worry about it. If you are fighting about things like money, religion, kids, any other big subject then you might have an issue.
Post # 7
Good point, We got all the other stuff out of the way a long time ago, it’s all about the wedding. Hopefully then it will pass after the wedding.
Post # 8
@kellmerr: He’s just agreed to that. Thank you for the suggestion.