Post # 1
I am less than 2 months away from my wedding but I am beginning to experience extreme depression and anxiety. It started about a month ago and its getting worse. At first I was just worried about losing weight and looking great on my big day. As well I was freaking out about everything going well on the day of. However, lately Ive been anxious during the day and seem to wake up in the middle of the night worrying about all the details, the bills, my weight and if this is the right choice. My thoughts are constantly racing and i find myself crying all the time. I thought this was supposed to be a great time in my life and enjoy planning my wedding but now its become such a horrible experience. My fiance and I have been fighting more because I keep waking him up during my insomnia episodes and keep bugging him about the finances, And if he really loves me and if he really wants to marry me. He of course says yes he really loves me and wants to marry me but i just cant seem to believe it. Also, I have been trying to lose weight by going to the gym and eating better but instead of losing weight i have gained. Now im afraid I wont fit my dress And will need to order a new one. Im just so scared and no matter how much my fiance or friends or family try to calm me down I just cant seem to relax. Im thinking about seeing a psychiatrist so I can get some medications to help me get through this time. im just hoping that maybe if anyone else out there has experienced this and if so what did you do to overcome these feelings? I really need help or Im going to ruin my special day by all of my fears and doubts.
Thanks for letting me share
Post # 3
@Caddy84: Just breathe. First of all, if you want to marry this man, you need to stop questioning his love for you. thats a sure fire way to put doubts in someone’s head. I went through something simmilar about a month ago. Focus on the things you are looking forward to. You’ve got to try and let go of some of the anxiety. Make schedules and lists. if it makes you feel better, set aside some time just for wedding talk–say– once a week. other than that, focus on the things that make you excited about the wedding, instead of the freak-out parts.
Post # 4
I can totally relate. I have incredible anxiety issues, and they’re really taking a toll. I’m not sleeping either (my problem is staying up late), I’m having nightmares…and I’m only a month and a half in. Ugh.
About the weight issue, it really is a vicious cycle. I went through it myself when I was unemployed. When you’re stressed and anxious, your body creates hormones that causes you to retain weight. And then when the scale doesn’t move, it’s added stress and anxiety. Which causes you to retain/gain weight. And so on. Plus, not sleeping enough can cause you to hold on weight.
It’s easier said than done, but you really have to relax. Try working out in a way that brings you peace – yoga, hiking, playing sports with friends, whatever works best for you, even if it’s not as “hardcore” as what you were doing. Also, maybe resolve to not give it any active time or attention for a period of time, like a week or even a day, and if you catch yourself thinking about it, divert your mind. Also maybe see a counselor so you can get this stuff out of your mind and not always onto FI. In any case, if you can, focus on the anxiety and put the weight stuff aside for now, and the weight will fall more naturally into place.
Also, if you can do anything naturally, that will be better, because my understanding is that many meds have a weight gain side effect. Then again, that might still be better numbers-wise than continuing to stress.
Post # 5
Do what you can to put your mind at ease. The more you stress about weight, the harder it will be to lose. Good sleep is also important.
Hang in there! The end is in sight! Take a lot of deep breaths too. 🙂
Post # 6
If your anxiety is bad enough that it’s interfering with your sleep and relationships, please seek professional help. You don’t have to just tough it out, and potentially damage your marriage long-term.
Post # 7
@Caddy84: Good idea re: getting some professional help. Not sure you need meds, but even talking to someone can be helpful.
It just sounds like you’re overwhelmed. You need to get some perspective, though. Imagine what you would tell a friend in your position. You’d probably tell her that it’s one day of her life. That her guests will think she’ll look beautiful no matter what. That her fiance wants to marry her even if some of the details are off. That the guests won’t notice if something goes wrong. It’s ONE day that will be over in a flash. It’s about marrying the guy she loves.
It is normal to have cold feet, anxiety, doubts etc. You’re about to make a huge commitment. Your FI would not be making this commitment if he didn’t love you.
As far as the financial worries go, obviously, I don’t know details, but I think those are worth having a talk over. Finances are hugely important in relationships. Can you not afford the wedding or is it just a big expense? If you are going into debt for the wedding, you need to have a plan in place, as a couple, to get it paid off as soon as possible.
Post # 8
@geekspice: +1. This is not normsl wedding anxiety. You need to seek professional help so you can enjoy the happiest day of your life.
Post # 9
thanks for all the feedback I think Im going to speak a counselor to help me deal with the stress.
Post # 10
I take medicine for anxiety- I used to have those same types of episodes even before I was engaged! It definitely helps take the edge off and it has completely changed my life for the better!
Another coping mechanism I’ve figured out is to not look at wedding stuff before bed- I typically have bad dreams when I do 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Hey love, please consider seeing a physciatrist who can give you counseling and perhaps a prescription. It can make SUCH a difference! You aren’t alone – my FI is going through a sever depression right now and it’s pretty awful 🙁 This WILL get better, just hang in there!