Post # 1
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
So random thought: I know it’s been mentioned before, but I’m curious as to what others have encountered in everyday conversations. For example, lately people I barely know have been asking if my pregnancy was planned. Now, I’m not necessarily offended by the question but I’m more shocked as I do think its kind of like asking “did you an DH/FI/SO have sex with a plan in mind?” and it seems kinda private. I usually just answer that it basically was as we wanted it to happen soon, we just didn’t think it would happen that soon but we’re excited.
So what have you pregnant bees encountered that was odd/off putting/imappropriate lately?
Post # 3
@mixtaperomance: I know I don’t sound totally mature with this, but lately, when I hear “So will you guys be trying for a family anytime soon?” I automatically hear, “So you guys planning on having unprotected sex soon?” I mean, that is technically what they are asking. My staff person asked me that the other day, and I was a little skeeved out. My response was:”No, we don’t like children… so no…”
Post # 4
@MrsNewDay: haha I feel the same way! I associate people asking if we’re trying, with them picturing us having unprotected sex. uhk!
Post # 5
@mixtaperomance: I posted a few. Names, for one. And then there was the lady who asked my DH if we were planning on finding out the gender. He said yes, so we had time to plan (what he meant was most everything is gender specific) and so then told him that “if you have to plan then maybe you don’t have time for a baby in the first place.”
I also find it odd that people’s eyes, no matter how many times they have seen me, automatically gravitate towards my belly. It’s like, “Ok. You have looked at it 5 times in the last 2 minutes. My eyes are on my face. It isn’t like my belly is going to magically grow every time you keep staring.”
I also find the “Was it planned?” question inappropriate. Yes and no. It was, but it wasn’t, and half the time when you say that people are like, “Well, either it was or it wasn’t. There is no inbetween haha!” Umm, yes there is, but I am done discussing my sex life with you, thank you very much.
Oh and yesterday I went to a card making party, and this lady, who was slightly tanked, made a big belly gesture on herself and said, “I look forward to watching you grow!” I just wanted to say, “I look forward to watching you grow too, ya drunk.” *eye roll*
Post # 6
@mixtaperomance: This is more a TTC than a pregnancy inappropriate comment, but it fits…
A coworker of mine asked me if I was thinking about children soon and I sort of brushed it off saying, “we’ll see what happens, we’re not really planning on anything (we are but its not her business) and whatever happens happens…”
Her response? “Oh and how are you enjoying that?”
My response? “Did you really just ask me that?”
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
My favorite was a total stranger asking if it was my first– totally fine to ask. But when I responded, “Yes,” she followed up with “Good for you!” …What the hell does that mean? Good thing I didn’t get knocked up at 15? Gee, thanks…
Post # 8
Post # 9
@mixtaperomance: My SIL asked my husband if it was planned, and I also got the question from a woman at work. It annoys me to no end and I’m not sure why anyone thinks it’s okay to ask that, especially my coworker!
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
Lol it’s astounding what people think they can say to us preggers! Some of these examples are funny but others are down right creepy!
@HelloKitty615: I’ve always found that to be a terrible question. I refuse to ask couples if they’re trying because quite honestly, if they have been trying for a while with no success, they don’t need me to remind them of the struggle they’re going through. You just never know what happens behind closed doors!
@the_newlymintedmrs-s17: that is ridiculous, I would’ve died. Who honestly thinks that’s an okay question?!?!?
@MrsWBS: agreed 100%. It’s a little weird when family/close friends ask, but for me at least I’m am open book with loved ones so most of them knew we were trying soon anyway. But honestly, if I just met you a month ago, it’s a little crazy for you to ask me that!
Post # 11
Oh man, I’m on the other side of it. I’m not pregnant or TTC, and I’m hearing TMI from a pregnant friend!
One day my husband and I were shopping at the store where she works, and we stopped to chat with her. She stood in the middle of her work, idly rubbing her boobs and talking about how they’ve changed. In detail. I was shocked that she’d stand there in the open and rub her boobs at work. It embarrassed me! We don’t have the kind of close friendship where we’d normally talk about personal body/girl stuff.
Am I weird and she was being normal? I don’t have a lot of friends who’ve had babies, so I don’t know what’s normal.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
It’s funny, now that I’m pregnant, I find that *I* have less of a filter than before. I’m like the girl who was rubbing her boobs, above. My pregnancy hormones seem to render me unable to give a crap about what people think. Hah.
However, though I will talk comfortably in detail about charting and conception when someone asks me if we tried for a while before getting pregnant, I also am baffled when people ask if our pregnancy was planned. I guess it’s because a) it’s none of their business and b) does it matter?! I think maybe other women are curious about pregnancy that might be a result of contraceptive failure, because it could affect them, too. But I would never have thought to ask a friend if their pregnancy was planned because it seems rude.
Post # 13
@cherrypie: Ha! I know what you mean! I have been trying really hard to think critically before I speak about my pregnacy to other people (especially at work). But everyone at work keeps asking me so many questions– it is either people who are already parents who want to share all their wisdom with me, or among my younger/peer co-workers, I am really the first one to have kids that they know, so they want to know EVERYTHING. I am trying really hard not to be an over-sharer.
I also find it really disconcerting to think back over how many people at work I have discussed breastfeeding with… should probably dial that back a bit…
Post # 14
My doctor actually asked if it was planned when I went in for my first appt after getting my BFP. I thought it was an odd question, but I guess he sees both sides in his office?
Post # 15
When we called DH’s parents to announce our pregnancy, the first thing out of MIL’s mouth was, “OMG! That’s amazing! How did this happen??” and then silence as we all waited for her to realize what she just asked. Hahaha. It was pretty awkward for DH but I thought it was kind of funny.
Otherwise, I haven’t had any really strange questions. I do have one co-worker friend though who has SERIOUS baby fever but no plans to TTC until 2015. There are a handful of us pregnant right now but I guess I’m the most “open” one? She asks me a zillion questions every time we work together. I don’t mind though, because the trade off is that she will also sit there and listen to all of my complaints! =D
Post # 16