Post # 1
I’m 32, married for nearly a year now. I’ve never heard my biological clock ticking, and I don’t feel drawn to children. Honestly, if I could, I would wait another decade before even trying for children. But here’s the thing….
I know deep in my heart that I will regret NOT having a child. So, I don’t know what to do. I want to wait a few years before trying to conceive but I worry what if it will be too late then? People around me keep saying I better get started because my chances will only decrease with time–so that makes me nervous.
At the same time, I don’t want to try to conceive now because I just don’t feel ready to have a child at this point in my life. I honestly enjoy my freedom, my sleep, traveling, and just being able to concentrate on myself. Sounds pretty selfish I know, but I can’t help it.
If there is anyone who has experienced this, or has any advice, I would love to hear it.
Post # 3
i felt like that too up until about october of last year. then all of a sudden baby fever kicked in. i think if you don’t feel ready right now, it’s fine to wait. don’t let other people pressure you into it. you don’t want to rush into having a baby. 32 is still young. also, you don’t sound selfish. it’s not selfish to not want a baby or to admit that you don’t want one right now. 🙂 i’m 33 and this is our first cycle TTC.
Post # 4
@temporary: I’m 32 (will be 33 this June)
My FI had a vasectomy years ago and he is planning to reverse it.
I am just like you… on the fence about having children. I could easily say to not have the reversal and us not having children (He has two from previous marriage) but i am scared that i will regret this decission.
However when he gets the reversal done, our chances are 50% and less with every year that goes by. For some reason I feel that I would be ok with having a child, but also ok with not being able to have one due to low percentage.
So I guess what I am trying to say, it’s not like you are sayign you don’t want any, you obviously want to try but don’t feel ready. Give yourself a year or two and then try. People still get pregnant in their mid 30’s and late 30’s.
If you are ment to have them then you will.
It’s a different thing when you make a decission like that and then mey regret it and a different thing when you just let it be and leave it to chance.
Post # 5
@calibee79: I’m curious about what made you change your mind–did baby fever randomly hit you? I used to think that I would change my mind once I got married but it still hasn’t happened.
Post # 6
@temporary: i started seeing women around me pregnant and for whatever reason, i decided i was ready. i was totally in your mindset about liking my freedom and sleeping in and when baby fever hit, i realized that DH and i can still have fun after a kid. we plan on taking road trips with our kid and other fun stuff like that. the sleeplessness only lasts for so long. eventually, we’ll be able to sleep in again. i guess the reasons i had for waiting were no longer important to me.
eta- it doesn’t mean i’m not scared though. i’m terrified of being pregnant and raising a child. it’s a huge responsibility so i think it’s normal to be scared about it.