(Closed) Pregnant and clueless-how to help

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 4
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh, wow, that’s tough (and unfortunate about the expectations being placed on her). Do you know if she’s a member of a church or religious group? Perhaps the ladies aid group or a mentor type couple would be willing to help her.

I’m not a parent either, so I don’t know all of the great resources, so I hope other bees chime in. There are probably organizations that would be happy to help with prenatal type instruction and even shelters may have people who can help inform her about pregnancy laws and resources. I’m not saying she needs a shelter (or to find a religion), just that those are two common sources of assistance. 

Post # 5
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ll bump for you 🙂  I’m clueless about this too, but I think getting her to meet other moms through some pregnant women’s group is likely good to help her destress and take it day by day.  (And maybe a slap to dad to wake up!  That’s actually worse attitude in some ways, expecting her to pick up most of the childrearing, at least if she stayed home she’d have only one “job.”)  I think she has time to deal with that aspect, however, and it’s likely not something a coworker can do anything about besides listening to her.

Post # 7
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissHobbit: Ooh, well, I do know a good friend and her hubs took a good # of classes at the hospital. There was “Baby Bootcamp for Dads,” “Newborn CPR/First aid,” and even some classes on prepping bottles, swaddling, etc. Maybe that would be the best resource for that type of thing (though I love the titles of your classes, haha).

Post # 8
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m a therapist, so I’m coming at it from a slightly-biased angle, but maybe they could contact a family/marriage therapist who could help talk them through some of the issues?  Kind of like pre-marital counseling — prenatal counseling, I guess.

(As a therapist, I *love* it when people or couples come in to pre-emptively work through potential issues, rather than waiting until huge problems have already developed.) 

Where I live, there’s also an organization that calls itself “pregnancy and parenting support” that helps with counseling, practical support, support groups, etc. for pregnant women and new parents.  Maybe google that phrase with your town/city name and see if anything turns up?  (Just watch out for “pregnancy crisis centers” and other deceptively-named anti-abortion organizations.)

Post # 9
988 posts
Busy bee

It’s a little early for this, but I would suggest signing up for mommy to be yoga classes or swim classes or natural birthing classes like brio or something.  I think that’d be a good way for her to connect with other future mothers in your area.

And there are tons of parenting books out there that could be of help.  There’s the whole “What to expect” series, there’s “You! Having a baby”, and the only I have personally read cover to cover (before TTC nonetheless) “Parents for the first time”.

Post # 10
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think one of the easiest ways to get her feet wet is to get her to either join or lurk on other online communities with more of a pregnancy/parenting focus like hellobee.com or thebump.com. the first thing she will find out is that she is not alone and her situation is not unique, lots of people are goingthrough what she is and there are many shoulders to lean on.

It is still early days, so there is plenty of time for her husband to wake up and face reality. Especially as they live in a 1-brd apt, he won’t be anle to maintain that attitude for very long if he wants a peaceful life. You should definitely have her look into both the maternity policy at your work and she should double check her insurance and find out what is covered and what isn’t.

Post # 11
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@occhiblu: I was about to suggest some sort of counseling. There’s a lot of situations that need to be discussed before the baby gets here, especially around how the child will be raised, that having an impartial third party in the room might help.

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