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awww. I'm so sorry! Gosh, I would think it would be better that your FIL is your boss!
My boss is overall really great about it. But he's generally really good about time off and stuff. As long as you get your work done he doesn't really care what our schedule is.
I've generally been trying to schedule appointments really early then my husband and I go to breakfast. My day typically starts at 830am but on appointment days I'm in by 9:30. I typically always work through lunch anyways so it evens out in the end hours wise.
And one of my co-workers just had a baby so she kinda paved the way for me in terms of working out logistics as well. So I lucked out there! :)
Wow, I'd also think your FIL would be more okay than the average boss, since the doctor is checking on HIS GRANDBABY!
My boss is really great - she has 2 little kids so she knows the OB routine. I try to schedule my appointments for the end of the day, but still need to leave about an hour before my usual end-time to get to the doctor's office on time (it's on the other side of town from work).
My boss has been great through 2 pregnancies. Each time though, she does get this panicked look in her eyes and asks "you're coming back after you have the baby, right?". Hahaha.
I don't have any personal experience, but I did want to comment that I'm sorry! I can't believe your FIL isn't more understanding....maybe you should have your MIL give him a talk about what pregnancy is like lol :)
@eeniebeans: Wow, that's flattery, isn't it? Boss loves you, and can't imagine the show running smoothly without you! :-)
@bree72: Wait a second. The grandfather of the baby gets irritated?! That makes zero sense to me. Z-e-r-o...............:( I'm sorry you're going through a rough time and not feeling supported at work!
I feel very blessed that my boss is really supportive of my pregnancy even though she's been through two miscarriages and failed in-vitro. I was worried she would be kind of rough on me, she can...well...kinda be like that? Anyhow, every time I have an appointment she never asks questions, she just wishes me luck and lets me take as much time off as I want. I took the day off for my first 3 appointments just because I had the OT racked up! :)
Again, I'm really sorry you're having so little support at work :(
What a ridiculous man. Have your FI or MIL talk to him, if possible/you're comfortable with it. If not, is there a way to approach him about it? Maybe suggest a meeting or a lunch with him and bring up that you've noticed that he seems irritated when you ask to leave for an appointment and if there is anything that can be done to mend the situation. He may just be having his period and his snippiness has nothing to do with you! Who knows with men.... *sigh*
Remind him that it's his little grandbaby you're carrying. Take that, sir.
That's awful, I'm sorry :(
My boss has been great, with appointments, coming in late when I'm feeling sick, etc. This week I even asked if I could leave at 3pm one day because I was so exhausted, and she said yes (we didn't have anything urgent on - I wouldn't have asked if we did!) I hope yours (especially since he's the grandad!!!) comes around soon.
Geez, this IS his grandbaby! If I were you, I think I'd try to find another job after the baby is born! Can you imagine when you have to take off when the baby is sick?
I'm actually really surprised that no one else's boss has been giving them a hard time. I know he's more unreasonable than most, but I guess I figured I wasn't alone.
And I really doubt this child being his grandson would make him feel any different than if it was someone else's. In general, he gets annoyed anytime anyone has to go to the doctor or asks for the day off. He has serious control issues, what can I say. Basically, there's no reasoning with him, so I just have to live with it.
@creativeplannertobee: I'd give anything to get another job, but this company was started by my husband's grandfather in the 50's, and it means a lot to him. He'll eventually take over and it'll be our company, so right now, and especially with this economy, I feel obligated to hold up my end. We had to lay so many people off about 2 years ago, that I now do about 4 people's work, so it's not like he can just get someone in here to take over. It wouldn't be so terrible if my FIL wasn't totally crazy most days.
@ColeandAmyT: Oh, I'm sure my MIL would love to give him a talking to. Unfortunately, they're divorced and despise each other. He's dating a woman now who has basically decided she can't stand me since I announced my pregnancy. She can't have children and I guess her way of dealing with it is being nasty to me. She's like 45 years old, and I'm assuming has no idea this is not how an adult behaves.
My boss is awesome, he's excited for me. (I think it also helps that his daughter is currently pregnant too.)
I am not pregnant yet but I have to comment on this. I KNOW my boss will be horrible to me when I am pregnant. She is already the worst boss (I am trapped in a contract with my job so I can't leave for the next 2 1/2 years), otherwise I would have been out of here about 3 1/2 years ago...
She already makes a huge deal if I call off sick, making comments in meetings in front of people "Well that is IF Brooke isn't sick..." Oh I'm sorry that I was sick for 2 days in the last year. So I can already see her acting like everything is fine with the doc appts and then making comments about it (very passive aggressive).
I am also worried about once I have a child and if the child gets sick on what to do. My work is so old school in that we have set times we have to be there (even though I am salary). My sister gets to work from home once a week, so ideally this would be great for me if I have a child and the child is sick or something. But again, I know my boss will not go for this. Sad day
Oh man, can I call you in about 5 years when I start having kids? I know this is going to be exactly how it's going to be for me. I work for my dad (at the company my grandfather started in the 60's, and I'm training to take over when he retires, go figure) and he is the same way about taking time off. We've also never had anyone who works here have a baby before so I'll be the first trying to figure out how to handle it.
A few months ago I was at work when my tooth shattered and left the nerve exposed, it was a dental emergency and I was in a significant amount of pain, and my dad couldn't understand why I had to go to the dentist to get the remainder of my shattered tooth removed from my gums. He got all huffy and pissy with me about it.
I hope your FIL starts to be a little more understanding!
@MissBoPeep: Let's commiserate together. I think if you've never worked for family, you just can't understand.
@BrookieCookie9: Sorry your boss is a butthead. Believe me, I know the feeling. I've worked here for 6 years, and up until I was pregnant, I literally went to the dentist twice a year for cleanings and to the GYNO once a year for my annual. Three appointments. And even those were commented on by my FIL. I never went to the doctor for anything because I felt too guilty.
Oh man, that stinks, ESPECIALLY because it's your FIL. Sounds like he can be stubborn/pigheaded! Have you offered staying a little late at work on the days when you have appts?
I have a different situation - I'm sort of the master of my schedule and don't have to let anyone know when I come and go. I just put on my outlook calendar that I have a doctor's appt and go about my business. But it's not as great as it sounds... I'm a lawyer, so I have billable hours....meaning that I need to bill X amount of hours per year....and if I miss a few hours a month for doctor's appointments, I need to make up the time in another way (coming early, staying late, working a weekend).
WOw I would have thought since your boss is your FIL that he would be more understanding. Thats really weird that it bothers him that you have to go to the doctors for his future grandchild!
My boss has been okay about it. he isnt jumping for joy that I have to constantly take time off but he doesnt complain about either.
My work, and my boss, have been fantastic. I've worked for micro-managers before and honestly, it was so taxing on my personal health because of the stress - I was always afraid to make them upset. Never again. Luckily there have been plenty of pregnant women before me to pave the way so it's a non-issue. I just put my appointment on the calendar and go when it's time. Sorry your FIL is being so rediculous. It's not how it should be.
That really sucks! You would think he'd be more understanding, being your FIL? My boss is not the greatest in general, but I haven't had to answer to her much about it. I have bad hours in general but for doc appts they've worked well so I actually haven't missed much work. That's really annoying though.. I'd feel guilty, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty. :( I'm sorry :(
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Hey ladies,
Just wanted to get an idea of how everyone's bosses are handling your pregnancies? My FIL is my boss, which may just make things worse, but I feel like he is constantly pissed at me for having to go to so many doctor appointments. He gets snippy with me almost every time I have to leave. I'm typically only gone for about 1/2 hour and I rarely do anything directly for him, so it's not like some huge inconvienience. I'm just over feeling guilty because I have to go to the freaking doctor.
Anyone been dealing with anything similar?