(Closed) Pregnant before we're ready?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Would you tell your SO [ETA: before the procedure] if your mind was already made up?
    Yes, tell him before : (154 votes)
    90 %
    No, tell him after : (9 votes)
    5 %
    Other (please explain below) : (7 votes)
    4 %
    *I clarified in replies but can't edit OP--Not keeping a secret, just waiting until after procedure* : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Of course I would tell him. Especially if I was married to him. A lie/secret like that is NOT how I would want to start a marriage!

    Post # 4
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    100% I would tell him.  IMO, he derserves to know.  Such a lie (which it is a lie by omission) has no place in a marriage.

    ETA: But you are definitely being a bit paranoid right now! 😉  That test is going to be negative and this will all be moot.

    Post # 5
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Wow.  I am really surprised that as a married woman you wouldn’t view this as a decision you’d make together. While you may be sure he feels a certain way about it, sometimes things change when faced with it.

    I think it would be terribly wrong to keep that from your husband.  He isn’t just some casual fling.

    Post # 6
    5242 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Your married and its not just a one night stand or casual thing so most definetly you would have to tell him if you were pregnant and decide what to do together!

    Post # 7
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @inky_1:  +1 —-you are married, you both made the baby, you both get a say.

    Plus, there’s NO WAY I’d ever be able to hold that in forever.  And if he ever found out I made a decision like that without him, he would be devastated (followed by livid).

    Post # 8
    1226 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think you need to tell him, you’re not exactly lying by not telling him, but not telling him is a dishonest thing to do…. it’s not right not to tell him, especially because you two ARE married….. just my opinion.

    Post # 9
    9618 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I would definitely tell him! It’s his baby too!

    i should add i am pro life, but to each their own

    Post # 10
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    wow i would never lie about that to my Fiance…. regardless of what my choice was, i would want his support in dealing with it (even if it was just physical support during the healing process)…

    ETA: i voted other because while i am as pro choice as they come, when you are in a relationship as committed as a marriage, i think that you cant really make your mind up about huge life decisions THAT AFFECT YOU BOTH without at least talking about it with your partner. its still my body and my choice, but his opinion matters to me.

    Post # 11
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @juliette.eliza:  Tell! I could not keep something like this from my Darling Husband. 

    Post # 12
    1839 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    yes, i would tell him

    Post # 14
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I do not think it is okay to keep anything from a husband.  Especially not that you are carrying his child- if and when such occurs.

    I am not saying this is my view- but my father is adamantly pro-life for this reason: he feels men do not have enough say, that it is his baby too…

    Post # 16
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @Mrs.KMM:  Second everything, Including the part about you most likely not being pregnant!

    In response to your further post, I still feel you should tell him. No one knows for sure how they will feel right before, during, or after an abortion. I would hope you would have as much loving support around you as possible.

    You may not feel that the abortion is his decision, but he did choose to marry you and go through difficulties with you; I think this is one of those times he should be right beside you, supporting you.

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