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a bit of a long story but bear with me...
I am getting married in March 09 and have three bridesmaids.
About 6 weeks ago bm#3 came to me and asked if it was ok if she was 3 months pregnant during my wedding (at this point she was just PLANNING to be) . Of course I said yes as i knew it would make her happy and 3 months really isn't that much. A fortnight later I heard her talking to bm#1 and saying that she was planning on being six months pregnant at my wedding. I thought this was a bit strange as she had said three months to me. I let it slide as it seemed to make her happy. A fortnight ago we all went out dress shopping (bm#1, bm#2, bm#3 and me). As they were trying on dresses she announced that she could not fit into this dress at eight months pregnant.
That night i decided to ring her and have a chat. I told her that i was worried about her being 8 months pregnant at my wedding as it is a very long day and we will be getting in and out of limo's all day, standing for long periods and i didn't want to stress her out heavily pregnant and stress the unborn baby. Also that there is a higher chance of her having to go into hospital with complications or labour etc and her to miss our wedding. Her husband is best man so of course we could lose our best man too.
She was very rude to me and said pretty much that it was happening whether i liked it or not. I couldn't seem to get it across to her how worried I really was. I then wrote her a 2 page letter explaining my feelings and how i was upset she dismissed my feelings.
She came around last night with her husband to tell us she was 6 weeks pregnant and that the baby was due three days after the wedding date.
What should i do? I don't see how she can remain a bridesmaid at 9 months pregnant. I don't know if she will even be able to stand three days before the birth. Also there is a high chance we will lose our best man too...
I'm very upset. She has hurt my feelings really bad and shes due to have a baby three days after my wedding. Can I have some advice please?
I agree that it's no longer feasible for her to be in the wedding party. It sounds like you have your heart in the right place - you want her to be happy, healthy, and comfortable, and you know that being a bridesmaid won't be very conducive to that when she's so far along. I'd let her step down but emphasize how excited you are for her. It's possible she got pregnant a lot sooner than they thought they would, which is why the timing was so off. I doubt she did it specifically to get in the way of being in your BP.
I'm in a similar situation with a MOH who might be very pregnant at our wedding date. However, I'm going to keep her as MOH because a) she wants to stay and b) I wouldn't want to pick anybody other than her. If the baby comes and she can't make it, then we'll just be short a person and I'll have a cute note to add to our programs!
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If this is her first child, it is also extremely possible that the baby will come before the due date.
Don't feel bad though. She is living her life and can't really postpone this stage in her life for your wedding. My guess is that you both have your hearts in the right place, but this is a stressful and emotional time for both of you. Support each other but let her know you can plan the wedding and her new baby the best if she just comes as a guest.
If you are going to lose a groomsman as well, perhaps it's for the best.
You cannot expect people to delay getting pregnant because of your wedding. Let her back out, and don't be hurt about it. You have other things to focus on. If you focus on the negtive, the whole planning and wedding will be a negative experience. Get over it and move on is my advice and by all means don't let on to anyone that you were anything but happy for her.
yeah, its totally not going to work for her to be in the wedding....she clearly doesn't understand how she is going to feel at her due date time - she is not even going to want to be at the wedding as a guest! It seems a little silly that she is insisting to be in it. Because really, she won't be. But, let her stay....its not hurting anyone. she is the one who is going to have to pay for the dress I assume, so she will be losing the money....as for her health, don't stress about it - she won't be acting as a bridesmaid - she really won't be able to do it - she'll be miserable, if she's not in labor! I agree with the pp as well - you can't have expected her to wait to get pregnant until closer or after your wedding...
First off, most first time mother's go past their due dates...way past. My best friend delivered two weeks later, the other three days, so I think you should be fine. She probably won't feel great, but unless you are expecting her to perform manual labor on the day off, she'll be fine to stand up during the ceremony and pictures. You can expect her to put off getting pregnant and if you kick her out, you'll look like the bitch, not her. Just let it go...be happy for her.
I kind of understood the problem as being the bridesmaid doesn't want to be excluded. I think I would just go along with her being in the wedding still and just be prepared for her to not be able to stand up with you. This way she is still included in everything up to the wedding and she has the option of being there if conditions allow. I don't however, think there is anyway to guess if she will go early or late it totally depends on the woman, the baby and genetics so you will make yourself nuts trying to guess.
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I think if she WANTS to be your bridesmaid still, then you should let her. If she's not concerned about getting into and out of a limo, then you don't need to be (not that your heart isn't in the right place to be concerned). Just go with the flow -- if she is willing to wear the dress, let her (and please please please be reasonable about letting her wear a different dress, get alterations, whatever), and if, at the last moment, she can't stand up with all of you at the end of the aisle, just let her sit. If she goes into labor at the reception, she will be escorted to the hospital, and everything will be OK. Pregnancy is just another one of those facts of life -- personally, I'm ecstatic at the thought of two pregnant bridesmaids!
Of course, if she wants to back out, you should let her, graciously. But please, just show your happiness. It just stresses the pregnant gal out more to be worried that you're worried/stressed/upset (believe me, I'm helping a friend through this right now).
Try to remember what Mark Twain said: There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. While its true that a lot of first pregnancies run long, I have four friends whose first children came 2 - 4 weeks early. The best predictor is age - the younger you are, the more likely you are to come early rather than late - and your mother's experience (whether you were early or late). But the one thing that is for sure is that unless you're scheduling a C-section, you have no control over it.
Whether your friend's baby comes early (in which case she and hubby probably won't be at the wedding) or late (in which case it's also likely she won't feel like being there) it's highly unlikely she will be able to (or want to) be a BM. It's her first baby - she's like all the other first time moms who are going to work right up until their water breaks, and whose lives aren't going to change a bit. It's a nice little fantasy world.
Of course you should be happy for her - and because you're so happy, and because you want everything to be as nice for her as possible, it would be much better for her and her husband to be just guests at your wedding. That way whether they're actually in the hospital in labor, or whether she just can't jam her really swollen feet into any pair of shoes she owns, it's not a problem.
What about including her in some other way? My FSIL recently is also pregnant and I gave her the choice of being either a BM or a reader. That way, she can still be included and has a graceful out. That, and if she was not able to read for some reason (i.e. she was delivering!), it would be fairly easy to find someone else (or have your officiant) to do it instead.
ErinMarieMack has a good plan - offer her another way to participate that is less impactful. That way, she can still be involved and you don't have to worry about whether or not she'll be able to be there, how to do last-minute alteratons to accommodate a very preggers BM, or be worried about her and the health of her baby on the big day (if she doesn't delivery early). Mrs. Lovebug didn't have BMs, but still included some friends in the day-of preparation - perhaps that would be an additional way to make this person feel included without the extra stress.
Being pregnant is a huge thing and hormones can go wonky - it is likely your friend didn't mean to hurt your feelings. If she is a first-time mom, then she may also be overestimating what she'll be in for. Try to give her an out while assuring her that you're happy for her and would love to have her participate in your wedding, other than being a BM. That way, she can concentrate on the fun of impending new-parenthood.
I can see why you would be upset, especially since she didn't just come right out and say she was pregnant from the beginning.
When my BFF got married BOTH her sisters (her MOHs) were pregnant and very emotional, so I would keep that in mind when speaking to her, just as brides are emotional when it comes to their weddings. I would say that if she wants to still be a BM, let her... she will see as her pregnancy progresses whether she thinks she will be able to handle your wedding day or not, but if she (and the best man) can be there, wouldn't you want them there?
Totally not a good idea for her to still be in the wedding. I'm going through a similar situation. I tried to give her an out (she'll be nearly 8 months by my wedding) but she wouldn't take it. Now she's just flaking out on all the Bridesmaid responsibilites. They had already gotten their dresses before she was pregnant so she's got to figure out something to do with that. I think it'd be better off for you to just ask her to not be a bridesmaid. She'll either understand or she won't. I think once she's that pregnant she'll understand that it was too much to take on and she'll forgive you if she's upset.
I say it's a tricky situation that could be best handled by having a direct conversation . . . If your friend and her husband are close enough that you and your fiance would choose to have them both as part of your wedding party, then all four of you should be able to sit down together and have a conversation. Express your concern, offer her the OPTION of bowing out gracefully or being involved in some other way, and trust the response she and her husband come up with. It's no use stressing yourself out over something you can't control and it's certainly not worth ruining friendships over! Plus, be sure to express your excitement that your friend is having a baby 
That's an equally HUGE life transition and one that you should support her in!
What a pickle! I'm guessing this is their first child, or else your friend would probably realize she has no business (and would probably be really uncomfortable) standing and running around three days before her due date, which is exactly what you're trying to tell her....how frustrating. It sounds like you're just trying to do what is best for her and get that sorted out now rather than later, whereas she has adopted an "it's all about me" mentality and is calling you selfish when it's really her who can't have her cake and eat it too.
What I would do would be to leave things as they are (with her being a bridesmaid and all) but do not have expectations that she or her husband will be actually come through to be in your wedding. Have back-up Plan B waiting for when she realizes at 9 months that she can't physically stand up there with you, or for when the baby comes early and she's in the delivery room on or just before your wedding day instead of up there. And not to be negative or anything, but six weeks is awfully early in a pregnancy. But who knows? Maybe she will be able to do it after all.
Clearly your voicing your concerns has had no impact on her understanding of the realities of the situation. So don't push it. Keep her as your bridesmaid, tell her you're happy to have her, and assure her that you know she will take good care of her health (whereas before she might have felt like you were trying to give her health advice---even if you are right, your advice might have come across as unsolicited, which I hear pregnant women get in spades). Let her know that you support her and congratulate her on her growing family, and internally be prepared to have your wedding party without them.
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I can completekly see both sides of the issue.
From the bit that you shared with us, I would guess that she was softening the blow by constantly changing how far along she would be. I must admit, I do this sometimes as well, for little things. I think we all do.
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honor, one she wouldnt want to let go of. It says that you are particularly close. And while a lot of it is standing up there with you on your big day, there are many more things that a bridesmaid does prior to the wedding. You would still want to include her, right?
If it was me, I would continue to have her be a bridesmaid. Noone, not even her, could predict what she will feel like that close to her due date. Even if she isn't able to stand, she could still walk down the aisle, or be there with you in other ways.
Not having a best man seems like a bigger deal to me, because they have to give a speech, etc. Plus, it is usually the groom's closest friend/relative. Talk to him to see how he feels. Maybe he can ask someone to serve as a back-up, just in case. Guys can usually talk more freely about this. See how the Best Man feels.
Just because they are pregnant, doesn't mean their status as close friends goes away. I think asking her to step down (and him!) is hurtful, no matter how well-intentioned you are, and how tactfully it is done. Of course, if she wants to step down, I would be supportive of thta, but it needs to be her decision.
But that's just me. 
Good luck!
She might want to be in the wedding NOW...but come that time she'll be too heavy and tired to care.
It's a pitty she doesn't see how concerned you are...I would be annoyed too if she was being shady with her pregnancy...I would ask her out of the wedding party...no exceptions.
I think you would have enough stress with your wedding to be worrying about someone else being overworked and having a baby because of some wedding related activity. I personally wouldn't want to be worrying about someone else's health on my wedding day.
Can you imagine how guilty and awful you would feel if something happened (not bad) to her on your wedding day? Too tired, belly pains, dizziness, delivery???
Your FH should talk to the Best Man....and make sure that you all come very clear that is not a vanity thing (some girls don't like pregnant BMs) but more out of health concerns and your peace of mind.
Your reasons for "leaving her out" are VERY VALID.
My advice would be to be happy for your friend and her husband--who I'm assuming is a close friend of your fiance's if he is the best man. Your wedding is ONE DAY--this child will be in their lives forever.
If you think she won't be able to handle the day's events, ask her what she thinks. If she still thinks she can do it and wants to do it, great, but you cannot be mad at her if she has to drop out. I think if she drops out it should be on HER terms--in no way should you kick her out.
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I don't see why the poster should wait and see....weddings are stressful so why not fix it before it breaks and not stress more because it's broken????
If she insists...like some others said...let her be but have a Plan B...let her in on the plan B so that she knows she can drop out on her own.
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IMO: If you haven't already, CONGRATULATE her & her husband on their pregnancy. And talk with her about what she's looking forward to, how she's doing etc--just like you would with any other dear friend who recently announced she's pregnant.
Only after, would I bring up your wedding. Reiterate that you'd be surprised if she's feeling like dressing up & standing for hours only days before the due date. If she still says she wants to be part of it, then I would offer that you're happy for her to prepare to be a bridesmaid & if she ends up in your wedding you'll be pleased. And if she decides at some point that being in your wedding is a no-go, then your feelings won't be hurt either way. If it's important to you to keep the BMs/GMs symmetrical, you might suggest at this point that in order to make planning easier for you, that if ... she's not in the wedding, that it might be easier if her husband's not either (there's a more tactful way to say that, I'm sure!) And at the point, definitely remind her that BMs/GMs are not a measure of friendship--you all know how important your friendships are! This is simply part of the ceremony that you want just-so.
One of my best friends was put in a very similar situation as you--and she was LIVID for quite a while. But she was later able to really get that as the bride, she would be the center of attention on her wedding day no matter what (not an issue with you, necessarily, but related)--and that outside of that day, people had their lives to get on with...
Good luck!
I absolutely agree with brendalynn's advice above -- first and foremost, don't forget to CONGRATULATE her first!! While your wedding is important to you now, you cannot expect others to put their lives on hold for your wedding. Sorry, but you would be an awful friend if you expected someone else to delay pregnancy for a year when they were ready just because of your own wedding! It is a very exciting time for her as she prepares to bring a baby into the world, and just as I'm sure she was excited for you when you announced your engagement, your initial reaction needs to be excitement and support for her, not bitterness and resentment.
These things happen. I was one bridesmaid short at my wedding because she was pregnant. She happily and excitely agreed to be a bridesmaid when I asked, a year before the wedding, and then 2 months before the wedding, told me that she was 4 months pregnant. No problem -- she was still happy to participate. But 2 weeks before the wedding, she had a few complications and was told that she would be unable to fly, and couldn't come to the wedding. These things happen. I'm sure your friend would love to be there for you -- in fact, it sounds like she wants to -- but you cannot expect others to put their own life on hold for your wedding. You can hope for the best -- that she'll still be able to attend the wedding, perhaps still waddle down the aisle, sit in a chair front and center, and be there to support you -- but if she can't make it, you know that she'll be thinking of you -- just like you'll be thinking of her and supporting her in every way that you can if you're a good friend.
Things happen, life goes on. If you're a good friend, you don't let something like pregnancy ruin a friendship or a wedding. She probably didn't come out and tell you because she was afraid you would overreact and be hurt, but you can't blame someone for getting pregnant!
When I read this, I thought you were talking about my pregnant friend and former bridesmaid. Just days after I got engaged I asked her to be my matron of honor as we've known each other since early elementary school. As soon as she accepted my offer, she added that she might be pregnant and asked if she could update me in one month. Her first OB visit confirmed she was due three weeks after the wedding. As much as I expressed my concern regarding her health, she was determined to be my bridesmaid.
After some time of fretting had passed (now three months pregnant), I wrote her an e-mail describing the major responsibilities that I would need a matron of honor to fulfill, expressing my concern for her health and her husband's feelings, commenting on the distance they'd have to travel, and finally offering her an alternative that still allowed her to be in the wedding. I gave her the option of doing a reading during the ceremony. This would still give her a big honor in the wedding but allow her to sit for the majority of the time.
If she was at all offended, she didn't tell me. I just kept telling her how much more important it was that she and the baby be healthy than attend my wedding. It would be hard to live with the guilt if anything happened while she attended the wedding. I tried to be diplomatic but honest about how uncomfortable I felt about her pregnancy. We're like sisters, so I knew the wedding was important to her. I made it clear it was no one's fault and that there was nothing wrong with backing out. I made her promise that she would discuss the situation with both her husband AND her OB. If they both were okay with it, I would feel better to continue having her as my matron of honor. (Meanwhile, I selected a backup bridesmaid.) In addition, she needed to line up a local OB and hospital in case of an emergency. This seemed fair to both of us.
In the end, I lucked out. I think she asked a few of her friends and they were not enthusiastic about the idea. Her husband was leaning towards not coming as well, but what clinched the deal was when the OB ran a test to predict the due date. It turns out she's due one week after the wedding. Since non-first children tend to come a week early, she knew it was best to stay home. We're both sad about it, but it's all for the best. She is the co-planner of my bridal shower which I think is great because she's having fun with it.
I hope this story gives you an idea of two on what might work for your situation. Good luck!
I agree with everything chelseamorning said. I think you just have to wait for your friend realize that she will not be up to it and have a Plan B for when she and her husband drop out of your wedding party. She probably does think she can do it all and doesn't realize what kind of discomfort she'll be in. And it's one of those situations where everyone can tell her, but she's the one that needs to come to the conclusion. I say congratulate them and have a plan B ready, no hard feelings attached.
And just in your BM's defense, I don't think that she meant to dupe you with how far along she was when she kept changing how far along she would be at your wedding. Two weeks ago when she said she would be 8 months along would have been the earliest that she would have known she was pregnant. (You pee on a stick after you miss your period meaning you are already 4 weeks pregnant by the time you find out.) So before she would have been guessing at when she might be based on how long the average time it takes to get pregnant.
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I am of the mindset that bridesmaids don't have to fulfill any "duties" -- of course I am blessed with bridesmaids who are really excited for me and they are planning amazing things for me, but I didn't think about what they had to do or what they were capable of doing when I asked them to be in my wedding. I asked them to be in my wedding because they are my best friends and I can't imagine NOT having them there.
With that said, my Matron of Honor is pregnant and my wedding is 2 weeks before her due date. I was worried/upset at first ONLY because my best friend might not be able to be at my wedding. I wouldn't care if she didn't do a thing leading up to the wedding, as long as I have my best friend standing by my side on my wedding day. I didn't pick her because she'd be good at performing duties. I picked her because I love her dearly and I want her to share in this amazing day with me.
I have told her numerous times that if at any point she doesn't feel comfortable wearing the dress and walking down the aisle and standing all day etc. etc., I will understand. But I would never ask her to bow down or assume anything about what her condition will be on the wedding day. (One of my friends is due in 10 days and she was at my bachelorette party 10 days ago and looked/felt amazing! Aside from the belly you'd never know she could give birth any day now!) Everyone is different.
With my MOH, we're playing it by ear. I have prepared myself for the fact that she may not be there, but I'm hoping she is. She has gone above and beyond organizing my bachelorette, planning my shower, and always asking if I need help.... but I'd want her there by my side even if she hadn't done all those things.
I feel like the way you approached the situation might have made your MOH feel as if you're trying to get her to step down because you don't want a pregnant woman in your wedding. I realize you are concerned, but if she wants to be there for you, why not let her, and just see what happens if she means that much to you? If she can't do everything a MOH normally would, see if another maid can help. If she realizes at 8 months that she can't wear the dress/stand all day/help you out, let her make that decision. Talking her out of her position now is just going to be hurtful to her -- instead, you could just take the unpredictability of the situation for what it is and just enjoy this exciting time of change together.
Thank you Cupcake, that's what I've been trying to say. If you are worried about her, that's fine...if you're worried about your wedding and what's not going to get done or how it's going to look, that's not right IMO.
Not necessarily in regards to the original post because I don't believe that is what she meant at all, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I totally agree with cupcake's first paragraph. I just don't understand how being a bridesmaid evolved into something that came with so many expectations of "duties." If it was such an honor, why would you want them to view it as work? Don't you want them to enjoy your wedding day too? I hate when people refer to their bridal party like they're cheap labor.
You're right MM — my thoughts about bridesmaids having duties was more in response to some of the comments that followed the original post, not what the original post said. Regardless, I still think it's a great opportunity to just go with the flow and take things as they come :-)
On a different note.. my moh is pregnant -- the wedding is in 11 days and she will be at 5 months, so there never were any worries about if she would be able to be in the wedding. Found a dress that looks great on her, and she will be there with out any issues. On the other hand, there are other issues with having a prego bm/moh. I'm going to apologize if I offend anyone -- but my friend and moh became a totaly different person after getting prego. She has been moody, grouchy, and mean. She has been almost impossible to work with, and she has dropped the ball on a number of things. When my other bm's asked her why she hadn't mailed out the bachelorette party invitations or made the phone calls (which she volunteered to do) she said "I've been busy being the mommy to my baby"... so maybe I just don't understand the crazy chemical changes that happen when a woman gets prego (I've never been, and none of my other friends behaved like this when they were prego) -- but I wish I had never asked her to be my moh knowing what I know now. Be careful.
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To keep things from being messy later on with you two, simply let her know that you won't need her as a BM anymore
1.because you don't want to risk anything happening to her on that day.
2.If she's already a drama queen that looked you in the face and lied about being 3 months along on your wedding date, when she knew full well that she was much further along already, imagine the type of convo you guys are gonna have as she gets bigger and more irritable, and has started to spend money towards a dress she won't be able to get into. Plus it'll be time for her to start worrying about the nursery,dr. appointments,baby showers,bridal showers...etc
Not even including any possible complications that could happen with a routine pregnancy. We can speculate til the cows come home but no one -on these boards or off- can predict when someone is going to give birth. It'll either be early,late or on time.
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It coud be worst, my sister who is one of my BMs is pregnant, and will about about 4.5 months come my wedding and she has yet to say anything to me about her being pregnant...and she thinks I won't notice...uh hello the dress won't even fit!
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First time mom's OFTEN go way overdue, but I totally understand your concern. 9 months is QUITE pregnant!! I saw some great preggo bridesmard pics (about 8 months) on the image is found back in January. Good luck figuring this out!
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You only live once, and life is too short.
You seriously cannot expect someone to put off such an important life event because you are getting married!
The bottom line...is it important for you to have her in your wedding? If so, size doesn't matter!
Your letter, I'm sure, conveyed to her that you are more important than she is...despite you saying so or not.
And by the way....I know plenty of women who worked (and played) hard right down to the wire!
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YOU are the bride
It is YOUR wedding.
Hence, YOU make all the decisions.
It is really narrow-minded for her not to think about you making sure shes OK and that this wedding does not take a physical toll on her and her unborn baby. If she is expected to deliver 3 days after your wedding, there is NO way that she will be able to do this. You should get your fiance to talk to his best man and come to some sort of rational decision. But remember, ultimately it is YOUR wedding. If you care for her well being, she will come to see that at some point.
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I think some people have read this the wrong way...I don't think is the poster's intention to "get rid" of her friend because she's pregnant. She's concerned for her friend's health and to be responsible for a pregnant friend is a HUGE stress factor that you have to add to all your wedding stress.
To be a BM...YES, is an honour...but you forget that they're ATTENDANTS...people who HELP the bride...because times change is now acceptable for the rules to be loose...but is NEVER the bride's duty to entertain or cater to her attendants every whim...that is something I don't understand...BMs and MOHs should know that at the very least...they're all "slaves" for a day...within reason....
Thank you all so much for your advice so far. It's good to hear everyones opinions and feedback on the situation. :)
As a bride, one of my goals was to not let the wonderful things that were happening in my life overshadow the wonderful things that were happening in my friends lives.
So - my advice would be to be happy for your friend, and cut her some slack as she's probably going through a range of emotions, not the least of which is guilt that she won't be able to be as supportive of you as she'd like to be.
She will likely bow out at some point, but let her be the one to do it. Worse comes to worse, you are short one bridesmaid, which I am sure will not upset you on the day of your wedding.
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I have to say that I don't think most of us think of our BMs as "cheap labor." But you do sort of expect the people in your wedding party to do a few things. Like - at a minimum - show up on time - stand at the front of the church - socialize with your guests - help you get dressed - be in the photos. My MOH was my sister, and I dearly love her, AND she has a 1-year old daughter. Because she is still breast-feeding, we had to wait until right before the wedding to order her dress, and still she was quite worried about whether or how it would fit her on top. The baby didn't nap very well the day of the wedding, and as a result was pretty cranky during the reception. My BIL didn't get there with the baby until the wedding was starting (trying to get her to sleep at least a little), which meant that instead of being able to do all our family pictures beforehand, we had to take time out of the reception for that (when I would rather have been socializing with our guests). My sister was worried as to whether he was going to get there at all, so spent most of the time that we were getting ready on her cell phone getting updates - luckily I hadn't been counting on her to lace up my dress or anything.
Now don't get me wrong - I absolutely don't regret having my sister in the wedding. But frankly there was a lot of extra stress introduced because of the dress issues, and dealing with the baby. It really only worked for either one of us because I actually didn't expect anything from my sister - I had other girlfriends lined up to help with everything.
If you can do the same thing - have your friend as MOH but really structure everything such that it doesn't throw any kind of wrench in the works if she doesn't make it, or makes it there but can't do much, then that's great. If you can't adjust your expectations in that way, then I think you're going to have problems.
I can't even believe that this is a topic and I can't even believe that this is what people stress about. I would never expect my friends - (actually these are our closest friends that we are speaking about right) to delay getting pregnet because they have to put a bridesmaids dress on and walk down the aisle. What kind of friend would I be to them if I expected them to delay their entire life for my wedding day. No offense, but anyone who expects that should be ashamed of themselves. So what - your friend has a pregnet belly the day of your wedding - you should be happy for her - you should be thrilled for her. I'm getting married October 11th and when we went dress shopping there was a chance that my friend could of been pregnet for my wedding and at this point she is not and I am very sad for her. Think about your friends who are having a hard time getting pregnet and how they might feel. I just can't believe that people are this selfish. I understand thatthis is your day and trust me - I feel that way to. I am having a huge black tie wedding - my wedding is not being down played - so I don't want anyone to think I feel this way because my wedding is not a big deal. I just really feel sorry for people that are willing to boot their closest friend out of their wedding because their pregnet. Maybe you should think about your friendship and who is really the bad friend. I've read about this on this site before and I just can't believe that people are willing to call their friends selfish for getting pregnet - getting pregnet is not that easy now a days for some people so it is not always planned and even if it is - maybe your friends who got married before you got engaged had plans to get pregnet before you got engaged - so maybe you ruined their plans. Just something to think about.
Hey guys - we don't mind strong opinions, but please help us keep things from getting personal! If you could all help us keep things focused on the discussion at hand (and refrain from personal attacks), that would be wonderful.
Thanks,
Mr. Bee
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