Post # 1
My best friend and bridesmaid announced to me a few months back that she’s trying to get pregnant. She then told me that if she got preggers before the wedding, she’d understand if I didn’t want her to be in the wedding party anymore.
At the time I thought it was the stupidest comment I’ve ever heard. Why wouldn’t I want my best friend to be in my wedding party just because she was pregnant?
She’s my friend. I told her that, unless she’s in labour the day of the wedding, I want her next to me for the ceremony and pictures.
Since then, I’ve heard stories of friends, cousins and even SISTERS who were relieved of their BM duties because they got pregnant.
WTF? Why are so many brides bad-tripping about a pregnant chick in their bridal party? Am I missing something?
Post # 3
Sometimes, depending on how far along they are, they could need a new dress (which could be difficult to find that "matches" the other bridesmaid dresses), or be so far along that it may not be comfortable for them to be standing for that long of time for the ceremony, pictures, etc. From my point of view, that would be the main reason for relieving a bridesmaid of her duties, but I know of people doing it for other reasons as well.
Post # 4
We asked my future sister-in-law to be a BM in our wedding although we knew she will have her baby just a couple weeks before our wedding. After she struggled with figuring out dress sizes (a couple of unhelpful stores) and realized she will be breast feeding/needing to take care of her newborn, she decided it would probably be too much for her to be a part of the wedding. She was very sad about it and was worried about our reaction.
Granted, we never would have "relieved" her of her duties, but I think we should have brought up the topic sooner. In other words, we should have told her how much we want her to be a BM, but we would understand if she would not feel up to it or would feel like it was too much at that time. That maybe would’ve made it easier on her. 🙂
Overall, I think pregnant BMs aren’t a problem at all as long as they feel comfortable doing it! How silly to kick someone out!
Post # 5
I’ve been to tons of weddings with pregnant BMs and some with pregnant Brides. I don’t see a reason to kick somene out of a wedding because they are pregnant. I think it should be the decision of the BM, if she still feels comfortable that she can participate, then let her. However, it’s best to find out asap so you can find a dress that will accomidate her growing belly.
Post # 6
I think people get caught up in how their bridal party will look, instead of what those women mean to them. They worry about getting matching dress and shoes and how the pregnant BM won’t fit the same dress or will have trouble ordering so far in advance, etc.
Unless the pregnancy has complications that mean the BM can’t physically be in the wedding (can’t travel, can’t stand, is on bed rest, etc) I don’t think there’s any reason to boot someone special out because she’s pregnant.
Post # 7
I will actually have 2 of my 5 bridesmaids that will be pregnant.
Both are my sisters, one being the MOH.
One of them is due 3 weeks after my wedding and the other one is due 7 weeks after the wedding.
I could never dream of asking them to step down, nor did I even give them the option of stepping down.. LOL
The only thing that its changed is choosing the dresses. I let them have the final say in the dresses. Because they will both be quite far along, I wanted them to be comfortable. I am really lucky that I have such an easy going wedding party that this did not cause any problems.
I actually think with a cute dress, pregnant bridesmaids look great!!!!
Post # 8
I am totally with you on that! I am in the same kind of situation, after i asked one of my friends to be a BM she informed me that her and her husband were trying for their second baby and that she would understand if i didnt want her anymore. . . . well a couple a weeks ago we found out she pregnant(YAAAYYY! 🙂 ) and she was like "oh no im gonna be huge for your wedding,is that ok?) Is that ok??!!? OF COURSE it’s ok,lol i love babies and kids (for pete’s sake im having two FG and two RB) I was/am super excited for her, the only thing i was worried about was it being too much for her. . but she said she’ll be ok. I think it is very selfish of the brides who relieve pregnant BM’s from their duty just because she "looks" pregnant. . seriously, who CARES? I understand if the bride relieves her BM because it would be too stressful. . that i get. . but not dissmissing them just because of how it looks
Post # 9
My FI’s sister will be 7 MONTHS PREGNANT at our wedding. Who cares, she’s obvoiusly pregnant! We asked her to be sure she still wanted to be in and she said "heck yeah!" with a huge grin. I don’t think it’s right to "dismiss" them completely. It’s one thing if they have a talk to talk and the mother to be decides it’s too much….but i think that’s the Bridesmaid’s decision, not the bride’s.
Post # 10
My sister will be 8.14 months pregnant at my wedding. We have no idea whether she’ll feel comfortable standing, and she’s looking for whatever dress that relatively matches the color scheme and she feels good in. If she were a less sensitive person I’d ask her to get the maternity dress made by my BM dressmaker (part of the reason I chose them), but she’s who she is…and it’s honestly not worth her feeling self-conscious over this. I do think that getting a BM dress can be difficult (as others have mentioned). And there may be other reasons the preg. BM doesn’t want to stand in the wedding, but otherwise I think most of it stems around the BM not being able to be there for the bride while planning. For me that’s not a deal breaker, but for others it might be.