Post # 31
I wouldn’t overthink it – as others have said it can take months or longer to get pregnant, so it’s best not to “plan” to be pregnant at any given time and worry about it before it happens. That said, if you’re lucky and get pregnant right away, you may not be able to avoid suspicion. I’m suspicious every time a female drinker doesn’t drink, and honestly I’m often right. Even if they use antibiotics as an excuse. But I certainly don’t say anything to them. That said I know it happens (my husband’s cousin asked me point blank when I was drinking virgin cocktails at a recent family gathering, even though she was drinking them too because she just doesn’t drink). You just have to make an excuse and be comfortable with the idea that they might not believe you.
If you do want to really misdirect people, and they’re not local or people you talk to a lot, maybe try to manufacture an illness in the weeks leading up to the holiday (relayed by telephone, text, etc., e.g. “oh she’s been fighting off a bug” or something), making antibiotics seem less random. Alternatively, you could develop a habit now of drinking clear tonic cocktails that you are seen drinking in front of people (maybe at the wedding?) and then your husband can mix for you without the alcohol during the holidays.
Fortunately I’m a lightweight who frequently doesn’t drink (hence the virgin cocktails) so I’m hoping that will allay any suspicion if/when it’s my turn. That said, after a whole weekend of turning down wine this past weekend at a family event, I made extra sure that my MIL saw me with a glass when I did partake so that she wouldn’t be suspicious 🙂
Post # 32
I was pregnant Thanskgiving but did not know yet. I purposely waited until after the in-laws left to pee on a stick because MIL is super nosy and basically stared at my abdomen while talking to me for the past year. We saw my side of the family at Christmas time. I declined wine. Nobody cared, because they are not pushy. We didn’t see the in-laws again until mid-January when we were ready to announce anyway. I tried to fake drink at a few holiday parties with friends but my close girlfriends fully on asked if was pg. What can you do.
Here are ideas for not drinking:
Hung over from too much the night before
Trying not to gain weight over the holidays
Doing Whole 30/cleanse
Stomach ucler / dealing with really bad acid reflux
Have to go to your boss’s house for a work party later (or something like that)
Moscow mule but no vodka
Vodka soda but no vodka
Ginger ale in a pint glass looks like beer
Post # 33
having a sip or 2 of wine or beer isn’t going to harm the baby. and then pour it out of give to DH. or make your own drink. my little guy was our IVF miracle that we spent a lot of money to make. trust me, i wouldn’t do anything to harm him. he’s now a perfect 1 year old. but i would say cross that bridge when you get there. no need stressing about what if i am pregnant.
i hope you get your bfp quickly.
Post # 34
Sorry I haven’t taken the time to read every response so if my advice is a duplicate, I apologize.
First off, I agree with PPs…no need to worry about this so early in the game!
Secondly, do you drink wine? This option is pretty sneaky but it worked for me. There are plenty of non-alcoholic wines that you can get at the grocery store that actually don’t taste that bad. I bought one when I had a girls night at a friends house. I took a previously used empty bottle of real wine, washed it out really well and then poured the non-alcoholic wine in. Brought the bottle to the party and no one was wiser!
Post # 35
missorange : yup I did it this past holiday season! Mocktails are your friend. As are a round of antibiotics, early client meeting, and being the DD. Plus if you get bloated or start to show early you can just blame the Christmas cookies (even if you’re too sick to actually eat them).
Post # 36
missorange : As others have said, you really shouldn’t worry about this so much until it’s actually an issue.
FWIW, I thought this might be a concern because we started TTC in October. Turns out I got pregnant in November, but had a miscarriage in December. Then it took us another 4 months to get pregnant. So, it didn’t really become as much of a concern. Now, I don’t normally drink, so this is a non-issue…but you can just use one of the tactics mentioned above to either avoid drinking or pretend to drink.
Post # 37
Whenever there was drinks around and I was hiding my pregnancy I would just said I didn’t feel well or had a headache.
Post # 38
I wouldn’t refuse a drink. I would “just have one” and then ditch it or make your own mocktail. The antibiotics and other excuses are going to be red flags. I’d say act as normal as possible. I knew my SIL was pregnant immediately because she suddenly started waring the same two flowy tops to every function, started eating a bunch of foods she normally wouldn’t (two huge plates of pasta), and drank regular soda. She did all that while pretending to drink beer.
Post # 39
I have this problem with my family and when the time comes I’m going to fake a bad cold. When they offer me wine, I’ll decline and ask for hot tea instead. (I’ll bring my own and say my throat is just too sore for anything cold)
Post # 40
I was 10/11 weeks preggo during Xmas & NYE: NYE we threw a huge house party (we’re in our mid 20s, 25-28 y/os in our friends group) and everyone knew we were expecting (I had a baby onesie personalized with our last name and our EDD hanging off the Xmas tree, lol). There was no point in hiding it, didn’t think we would have to, should it have ended in a M/C everybody would’ve been supportive and understanding. I’m not your typical expecting mother though and have no history of infertility. In fact we got pregnant while on the pill and not TTC…chalk it up to having bought a new house lol. Anyway I say do you! And it’ sreally not hard to not drink etc. Only downside is you’ll be tired my dear… somehow I managed to stay up till 4am on NYE though. And everyone was a doll and cleaned up for me so the morning after was AMAZING.
Post # 41
I’d say you were on antibiotics for a ‘lady Problem’ like cystitis – that would certainly shut most of the men up if comments were started to be made! If you say the medication is for something a bit intimate then most people will get the idea and back off!!
Post # 42
- Wedding: January 2016 - The Great Southern Club
i wanted to add that i was in the same predicament…I had found out I was pregnant about two weeks before Christmas. One side of my family has a big Christmas party on Christmas Eve and i was worried my family would notice I wasn’t drinking. My aunt had figured my big news out the night before when I was helping her cook after i turned down wine. I trusted her not to say anything yet, and she didn’t. She acutally bought me some sparkling juice of some kind so I had a glass of “wine” that I barely drank.
I was acutally really worried, like you, that someone would figure it out quickly but no one even noticed!! Don’t worry too much about it. I wouldn’t say anything or even bring any attention to the fact you aren’t. Just say you’ll get some in a minute or stay away from the area with the booze. 🙂 or wait until after the holidays
Post # 43
If people are prone to speculation, they are going to speculate no matter what. There’s nothing you can do about that. Just hope they aren’t rude enough to say something, but if they do, you of course never have to give any news that you’re not ready to give.
Post # 44
Do people really pay that much attention to whos drinking and what they are drinking? I sure dont! That being said, I wouldnt call attention to it by giving an excuse – just stay under the radar. Hold a glass, give it to your husband, have a fake drink. anything. I really wouldnt worry about it this far out/ actually wouldnt worry about it at all.
Post # 45
I’m 19 weeks pregnant, and up until 16 weeks, I could have hid it with the right clothing (and probably still could if the person doesn’t know me). There are lots of reasons why you would not drink. Also… people may not notice as much as you think. My husband would bring sparkling white grape juice and pour it in champagne glasses secretly and give it to me at events where people were drinking. Sometimes I would be given real alcohol and I would pretend to drink it, and my husband would actually drink it for me.
Also… I think you are over thinking it. It may take you longer than that to get pregnant. I wouldn’t worry about it until you are pregnant (worrying about it will only prevent you from conceiving).