Post # 1
New to the forum, and in the midst of all the wedding planning. I’m getting ready to ask the girls to be my Bridesmaids. About a week ago, one of the girls called me to let me know she is pregnant, and her due date is 6 weeks prior to the wedding.
Just a little back information, prior to finding out she was pregnant, her plan was to get a hotel room for the weekend, and her mom was coming into town to help with the kids at the hotel room while she and her husband attended the wedding. (it’s a no kids wedding) So, her mom is going to be in town anyway to obviously help out with the kids, and the new baby.
Back to the original question. (Sorry if this is a bit all over the place) I’m not sure if I should still ask her to be a bridesmaid. She is a close friend of mine, however I don’t want to impose on her. This has nothing to do with how she will look in a dress, or anything like that. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable or put any stress on her if she’s not feeling up to it post-baby.
I’m not sure if this is relevant, but this is her third baby, and she’ll be having a c-section. I’ve heard recovery time after a c-section can be longer than just a natural birth, but I also have no prior knowledge of pregnancy issues or birthing recovery.
So, I am not sure what to do. The FI told me to let her make the decision, because what if she really wants to do it, I shouldn’t make the decision for her. But, my original feelings were not to ask since she sounded stressed when I spoke to her about the time of the wedding and what time to be there and when the reception would be over.
Clearly I need some advice on how to navigate this. Thanks in advance! xo.
Post # 2
I would just have a discussion with her. It doesn’t have to be you asking outright, but you can approach the topic of bridesmaids and ask how she would feel about it? And express your concerns about not wanting to stress her or impose. Hopefully she can be honest with you, and I’m sure she would appreciate it.
Post # 4
I remember my C-sections – both in July, so I could watch my feet swell. I went to one cousin’s wedding, as a guest, about a month later. I could walk upright, but I did not feel too well, and left early. I agree about just talking to her. Since this isn’t her first baby, she probably knows her own limits.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I would say the exact same thing to her that you just said to us. Give her the option and let her decide. Say you don’t want to add stress or make her uncomfortable. You want her to be a part of it if she can, but you completely understand if that’s too much of a commitment.
Post # 6
OMGMrsW2B: Continue with your plan to have her as a maid, if she feels that she will not be able to do so she will let you know or may be set up some sort of plan.
One of my best friends just found out she is expecting and her baby is due in Jan, since we are having a destination wedding in July she will not be able to attend due to the new cost of the baby. So she is still a bridesmaid she is helping with email responses/inquiries for photographers, favors and alot of little stuff that adds up but it saves me a bunch of time. We talked alot about her decision not to come ( she really wanted to but cost wise it was out of the question) but she felt better know she is helping out as a maid but not actually able to attend the wedding, Hope this helps you
Post # 7
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
OMGMrsW2B: Only she will know if it will be too much. My MOH is having her first baby 4 months before my wedding and she is adament that she will be fine because she has the support. It really depends on the person.