Pregnant MOH?!????

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@inspiration86:  That’s a tough one.  Maybe if you are closer with A, ask her, but if she’ll be giving birth on your wedding date, then ask that she let you know right away so you can ask someone else?  My matron of honor will be 6 months preggars on my wedding date.

Post # 4
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

how would your pregnant MOH steel the spotlight from you?

i would pick the one that you want to be your MOH regardless of being pregnant or money being an issue.

maybe she will decline and say she can’t do it.

Post # 5
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

A is the closer friend. A should be your maid of honor, regardless of whether or not she is pregnant, as long as she is feeling up to. I wouldn’t be concerned with her steeling the spot light; that just seems really silly.

Post # 6
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Her being pregnant really shouldnt matter.  Unless she gives birth the DAY of your wedding she should be able to manage to be there.  If she is really pregnant she can still manage. I would ask her and see if she is ok with it first. 

She wont flake on your wedding, you would have plenty of time to move things around if her due date was really close to your wedding date. 

Post # 7
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think as long as her due date isn’t the day of the wedding, it should be fine. 

Post # 8
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

the issue of pictures/stealing the spotlight.


you don’t want her in your pictures because she will be pregnant and possibly… (whisper it)… a bit chubby I presume? 

if she is the only pregnant woman at your wedding on the day I will be very surprised. You can’t ensure the female guests won’t be preggers So there is potential for all pregnant guests to also pinch some of your spotlight too. Bottom line, there’s absolutely nothing you can do And presenting a pro and con list of your close friends is nuts IMO. You either want them to be there, as they are, or you don’t.

Post # 9
Member
8593 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t see why her POTENTIALLY getting pregnant should matter.  She’s not even pregnant yet!  Sometimes it takes people months and months.  She would have to get pregnant within the next month or so to even come close to giving birth around your wedding.

If you’re that concerned I’d just wait a few months before you pick a MOH.

And make sure to ask her if she would feel up to it.

I don’t understand how her being 7 mos pregnant would be a problem.  Maybe being due right around your wedding but 7 or 8 months?  Probably not a big deal.

Post # 10
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

When I asked my girls to be in the wedding party it was because they mean a lot to me, and I wanted them to be a part of our day…not because I wanted them to organize, help and be my slave.

Honestly, I know it isn’t tradition, but I didn’t expect my girls to do ANYTHING for me. That’s just a bonus if they do. ..and actually, my MOH had her baby girl 4 months before our wedding, and I told her the entire time that she was under no obligation to do anything for me. I wanted her to focus on her kiddos and herself. She ended up doing lots to help me, by her own choice.

If A is your closest friend, she should be your MOH and you shouldn’t expect any more out of her than to try her best to show up (given that she hasn’t just given birth or physically cannot). She isn’t even pregnant at this point, so it’s not even a concern yet…

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Definitely A! I had a bridesmaid who gave birth THREE DAYS after our wedding!

Post # 12
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ajillity81:  +1

The only cons you have for friend A are moot points. She won’t steal the spotlight from you and plenty of people have married MOHs.

Post # 13
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

As others have said- having a pregnant MOH, really is not the end of the world. AND it is just a possibility not actual reality yet. 

 

I am the first of my friends to get married. So I am pretty sure for at least 1 of their weddings Ill be pregnant…. and I would be insulted if they wouldnt pick me as MOH/bridesmaid just because of that. 

 

if it really is that big of an issue for you, just wait until you know she wont be in late pregnancy. ALSO keep in mind most women hide their pregnancies/ dont know their pregnant for 2-3 months. SO the chances of you knowing for sure until very close to your wedding is very likely. 

Post # 14
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would ask the person you most want to be your MOH- A.

If she is unavailable on the wedding date, either in labor or just having delivered, you can promote B at the last minute.

Given that you know she may be pregnant, you can choose the dress with that in mind- an empire waist style, or order some extra fabric at the time.

Post # 15
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I HAVE AN IDEA!

Make A a “Matron of Honor,” since she’s already married, and B as a “Maid of Honor.”

They could work together and split responsibilities.

Post # 16
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@inspiration86:  I think it’s silly not to ask A just because she MIGHT be pregnant. She’s your best friend!!!! id also like to point out that it might take a while fthe her to get pregnant..

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