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@Daisys4U: All I can say, is to try to be calm and relax. Stress cannot be good for the baby. And just have faith that things will turn out fine. Maybe consider finding a type of job where you can work at home. Maybe babysitting or making stuff and selling it on etsy or selling old stuff on ebay. Just in the meantime until you're able to get a job. I will pray for you and your family. Good Luck! And congrats on your new baby!
I would say to just keep looking. I know someone who got hired about a month ago and she was 4-5 months pregnant at the time. Also, at my job, in June, they hired a girl who was 8 months pregnant. So keep looking and like it was said, maybe offer to babysit or find something you can make and sell online. Congrats on the baby and good luck!
Can you stay with your parents? I would try to cutback and save as much as you can and get as much gifted/free for the baby as you can. If you can't afford your bills, get rid of ALL non-essentials like cable, cell phones, etc. If you have car payments sell the car to pay off your debt owed. My friend has a great blog entry about saving money and paying off debt. You can check it out here:
http://carrieandjonathan.com/category/travel/kilimanjaro/questions-faq/
I agree the above suggestions are good. I watched children in my home and worked as a waitress during the evenings. I've seen many pregnant waitresses, one girl I know waited tables until she was eight months. You could try daycares, Dollar General says right on the application they will not discriminate against pregnant women, and if all else fails go to an agency like Manpower to help you find something even if it's temp work.
Try to relax, take a nice long bath. It will work out in the end, stay positive for your family. I have faith that you can do this.
Thanks ladies for your support. I just woke up and cant sleep cause i feel like i am disapointing my family. It feels like i am running till the last moment to find something thats not there. I really hope i can come out a head. I even tried to start a training program with EI to see if i can get in with them paying for my school and living expence and seems like its a no go situation. They want me to go to a 5 week work shop to find work. Which is not what i want to do, i want to find a career thats stable. I am at the point though that i have no choice to take something small then see what happens from there.
There are always jobs - you just have to lower your standard.
Work at a coffee shop, a restaurant, a dollar store, any retail store for that matter!
Good Luck!
Any job is better then no job, even if you won't get a paid maternity leave. You can keep the bills up to date and then as soon as you physically feel up to it get back to work once the baby comes. It's not easy by any means, but you have to do what you have to do to take care of that little baby:)
Don't worry about disapointing your family, I am sure that that is not even a thought in their mind. They are probably just worried about you.
It is illegal to NOT hire someone because of their pregnancy status.
There are a lot of office jobs - temp agencies, etc - that wouldn't care and frankly legally can't. Try a law firm or something like that.
Temp agencies will place you and some of them have short term disability plans.
Maternity leave is apparently hard to find. I work for the federal government and won't get it. It sucks.
good luck!
A temp agency might be a good route to try, especially with companies looking for holiday workers. You can apply for Meidcaid if you don't have health insurance and your husband makes a low enough amount of money. It would cover you for the pregnancy and cover the baby later. Get on WIC for food, it's available to pregant woman. See if your church or a local crisis pregancy center could help with baby gear.
If you did the five week training would you be eligible for EI while you are training? IF so, it might be worth even if you can't find a job later.
can you apply for WIC?
Find out the number for Catholic Charities in your area. My local chapter devotes a lot of resources to helping pregnant women (part of the pro-life thing). You don't have to be any religion to get aid.
On the baby equipment side of things, try to see if your area has a freecycle program. It's internet-based, and people post items they are willing to give for free. You have to be the first to respond, and the 'giver' will put it on their front porch for you to pick up.
I agree with other posters, try to relax, pray, meditate, take a warm bath, take a walk, whatever might help your stress levels. It's a big deal to have a baby and to be on one income (I'm with you there), but stress will only make you feel worse about yourself. You are in the middle of one of the most unique experiences we women can have in life, and I'd hate to see anxiety rob you of some of the joy or happiness of it.
i second @Magdalena:. Try your local Catholic Charities or any local Pregnancy Assistance Center. Almost all of them work with job placement as well as anything you may need and help with medical care if necessary.... regardless of faith.
You can also try to Nanny/babysit
And like mentioned... it's illegal to not hire you due to your pregnancy. They can't ask you questions about it... maybe a gentle reminder to the interviewer if it comes up...
Oh honey I have been there! I was 18 and just out of high school when I got pregnant with my son. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was unemployed. I was in school full time while he tried and tried for months to get hired somewhere. My best advice is if you have a faith to focus on it! Pray and pray HARD! IT DOES GET BETTER!
Apply at places like Wal-mart, Target, and other chain stores. They can affored losing a girl for a few months for maternity leave. I know it all feels impossible right now but keep trying remember that you are your husbands rock and he is yours.
Def. get WIC if you already haven't! Cut off your cable/internet. Grocery shop at stores like Aldes, Save-A-Lot and Wal-mart. Turn off all your lights in the house whenever your not using them and un-plug all outlets before bed. (You'll be amazed at how much this can save you!) I know this is all so much but this is where you do what you have to, to make it work!
RELAX! Remember God has a plan and a way for you both if you let him. And don't refer to yourself as a "pregnant chick". Your a mother now. It's time to start thinking, walking, talking and living like a mother. Respect yourself and your situation and others will too! Including potential employers! Good luck and keep your chin up!
if all else fails, reapply for social assistance programs once you have the baby. Then you will be a 3 person household, which will have different income limits/thresholds. Many programs work on % over federal poverty limit, so you may qualify even if your husband works full time. Good luck!
MightySapphire, thank-you for linking to our site. I took notice when this post brought about 70 visitors to our site in the last 24 hours. I'll PM you to find out who you are, because I honestly don't know... but thanks for the link!
There are actually quite a few posts on our site about the process we've gone through to pay off our debt... so we welcome all questions there.
Daisy, if you're okay living from the social system in the states, that's great. Definitely follow the advice of people who know about it, because the US does a good job taking care of people. (Could be better, but the systems are there to support people when they need help.)
Alternatively, if you are looking for the job route... what kinds of skills do you have? What kind of work could you do using a computer and Internet connection? Anyone who would hire you, even part-time, would want to know what you could do to help them grow their business.
Are you trustworthy? Reliable? Independent? Those are valuable attributes if you have them.
This might sound hard, but it's really not. Just think about what you can bring to the table... there are people out there looking to have someone working for them - you just have to define how what you can do can help them.
I know it's probably the farthest thing from your mind at the moment, but think about what skills you possess and how they could help a business meet their goals... then position yourself as someone who can help them meet those goals, using your computer and your Internet connection (two things I know you have).
All the best to you. Either solution (job or social system) will take some work on your part. The nice thing is that you do live in a country with good social systems to help you, and being from the states, you likely have enough education to go out and accomplish whatever you set your mind to.
All the best,
Jonathan
So I am going to give you ladies the heads up as to what I have been up to. So far I have been fighting to start this course online and being paid living expences to live while i do this course for a career. I have been shuffled to person to person to business to business. I am spinning outta control, even went to talk to a coucelor to talk about my stress and she didnt even show up. So my husband comes home to take all his anger out on me cause i couldnt get a job being on ei, and i have three weeks with no ei and hes freakin out. So i have three or four appointments to discuss this hopeless career school plan or i say F it and go get a job and work till i have baby. I do want to say i am greatful for the ideas and support you ladies have to offer, i am sorry for being such a bummer right now but i dont know how to vent this problem.
I was a teenager when I got pregnant with my first child. It's scary and there aren't many words that will make you feel better. You can do this though. I would be applying for any job I could find right now. It seems like you don't qualify for assistance since your husband works. I would try to do anything you can to get a job and save that money up for when the baby comes. and then decide what career path you want to go on. It's on you right now, but you can do it.
Do you have any other family close by that could help once the baby comes?
@Daisys4U: He should not be taking his anger out on you. You are his wife and the mother of his child, you deserve respect. There are resources out there. If there's a local YWCA chapter, go there and explain your situation. If there is a local Catholic Charity, go in and talk to the person running the place. There are womens shelters that you can go to if you really need to. Do you have any sort of family go to for help? I'm assuming you're in Canada since you mentioned EI. I don't know a lot of about Canada's social assistance programs but what I gathered from the website, is that each province has a program. Good luck!
So get this I went for a job interview hiding the fact that i am pregnant cause everyone is telling me not to tell the employer that i am pregnant cause i will not get the job. So I arrive and the lady says I just want to ask you straight up are you pregnant? I was blown away and couldnt lie so i said yes I am. Shes says i know cause i am a pyscic and i already knew when i talked to you on the phone. The other lady said you are?? You even showing? I said yes i am, but now i feel bummed cause i couldnt get the image outta my mind with feeling discriminated towards me being pregnant. So i felt that i didnt bring my A game to the interview cause i was hit with that right as i walked in. I also had tlaked to other firends that are in the work force and asked them if they can get me in and it seems like a no go. As for my husband hes still pissed, and my friends and parents keep telling me to ignore him and let him take the load. He doesnt understand that and continues to be salking and miserable he just leaves the house when this subject comes up and says you got us into this mess you get us out. I just feel like I CANT!!!!! How when no one will hire me due to being pregnant. I need to win the lotto or something.
Im sorry you are going through this. It sounds like it was a really tough interview and I can understand how you tried to be prepared but were very taken aback by the direct questioning.
What type of job are you looking for? Have you applied to all the retail stores in your area? Gas stations, grocery stores, wal mart, target, home depot, best buy, etc??? I'm sure one of them has to be hiring.
@Daisys4U: first of all congrats on the baby! i didnt know you were preggo! second, you might have to look into church sponsored or community sponsored programs that might be able to benefit you.
I dont have much advice but hang in there i truley believe things always tend to work themselves out. These are happy times and you and hubby will figure it out. My sister just had a baby 6 months ago. She isnt married and has been with the dad for about 2 years now.. i know she in particulalry was terrified before my nephew arrived with how she was going to make it all work. In the end everything has turned out fine, one thing they did have to do was sell his car, they had 2 crazy car payments...so now they share but it saves them 400 a month. she takes him to work in the morning on the days she needs the car and on others she just stays home with the baby. just stay calm and relax and enjoy being pregnant! everything will work itself out...keep doing what you are doing and try not to stress about things you cant control.
What a difficult situation! My thoughts go out to you. And don't let your husband tell you this is your fault. It takes 2 to make a baby.
Aww ladies, thank you for the support. i really started to consider selling my car. i owe money on it but if i get it more then what i owe maybe that will help me. Its werid cause i seem like a go get her, even with that interveiw i felt confident but getting thrown off by the subject of even being pregnant was like i had a disease, when i should be glowing and proud to be wanting to work with a human in my body. It just makes me feel outta place when i am not getting judged for my skills and resume i am getting judged on my tummy.
It does take two to make a baby and thats why i feel so bad inside cause i usually dont sit back and watch the chips fall, and i think thats why my husband found me attracted cause he saw how of a hard worker i was. Now i am working on keeping the baby not the money flow. I am so affraid to go to the church cause i am not going like i should be. I am catholic and i havnt been in there for a while.
Just a thought about the car....as soon as they're driven off the lot they immediatly depreciate in value. So check out what you owe and how much your car would be worth at Blue Book value.
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I am currently 5 months pregnant, and i was on EI for a year now and cut off. So i cant get hired cause no one wants apregnant chick then off in a few months. I applyed for social assitance but they wont help me out cause my husband works. He doesnt make enough to pay all our bills and baby not too far away. I am sooo scared and dont know what to do????