Post # 1
Soooo now that a majority of my friends and I have gotten hitched in the last year or so, there seems to be a fair amount of “baby fever” going on in my circle that is now COVERING my pinterest feed…
I am not complaining because kids are in my 5 year plan and I am a dreamer but I came across this photo and it got me thinking…
Do people actually do this?
Or at least, did anyone actually want/require a “push present” of sorts?
I had never heard of push presents until a certain episode of The Real Housewives of OC where one of the housewives said that her BENTLY was her push present for having a c-section with spoiled bratling #1 and her diamond encrusted rolex was given to her after #2. I was shocked but thought uber rich people get/give gifts for any occassion so no big deal…
This e-ring & wedding band combo looks quite normal and the accompanying gemstone ring (in the baby’s birthstone) looks affordable as well so that spurred some curiosity in me…
Please share your thoughts on this practice and how common you think it is.
Post # 3
@KimmySumShuga: Well, I do not plan on having children for another 5 years, but honestly, the idea of a “push present” seems very odd to me. I realize a woman is carrying the child for 9 months and it is a lot of work, but it take will take the two of us to create a child and it will take the two of us to raise the child. I don’t think I would need a ring or any specific present for having a child. The child is enough of a gift for me. 🙂
Post # 4
Thats funny the first time I had heard of a push present was from the show too. I just think when that time comes for me I’d rather be saving money then want a push present. But my husband is really sweet and thoughtful and gets me things here and there for no reason at all. If he didn’t I’d probably take the opportunity to sell the push present idea to him ha. I am not really sure this is a common thing though. I’ve never heard or seen anything like that from my friends that have had kids. I would just be thrilled the baby is finally here. Reward enough.
Post # 5
Sorry to use the ‘t’ word, but I think the term push present and expecting/suggesting/asking for an expensive gift as a ‘reward’ for having a baby = tacky. I equate it with the Real Housewives types in the world.
Post # 6
I’m on the fence, I totally see how it could be construed as really tacky but on the other hand, I AM giving over my body for 9 months and then my breasts for another year or whatever. I am of the opinion that pregnancy is certainly hard on the woman but also hard on the man who has to put up with / take care of the women, know what I’m sayin? hah. At least, I’m very grateful to have such an understanding and supportive husband for this time in my life 🙂 The really ‘unfair’ part, I suppose, is that my body won’t ever be the same again, and he doesn’t have to go through that. I guess I could (and should) just look at it as, that’s just part of my role as a woman. But I can’t help but feel that just maybe I deserve a little something for my efforts and sacrifice! I think a ‘push present’, or whatever you want to call it, is tacky or sweet depending on what the present is, not on getting a present in return for having a baby vs. not getting one. i.e., my cousin in Toronto has a lot of friends who got expensive purses as push presents… my husband and I have never referred to it as such, but my ‘present’ for having the baby is, he is going to buy me an elliptical! To help me get rid of the baby weight. I think that’s a sweet and practical present, and it’s something I really want (and deserve!).
Post # 7
Judging from posts i’ve seen on the bee, a lot of people do this. I find the idea a little distasteful, especially the name.
You know what would be the best push present of all? Maternity leave that’s fully paid and on par with the other developed nations on Earth.
Post # 8
Neither FH nor I really care much for gifts, and especially not jewelry. I might like a nicer phone with a better camera, or a new washer/dryer or something, just some creature comforts to make being PG and a new mom a little easier (really nice bathrobe? slippers? maid service, LOL)?
Post # 9
I asked for a mcflurry. I got it!
Post # 10
I don’t know, I sort of got one. My friend hinted to my husband about it, but I told him it was unnecessary. However, for Christmas (3 weeks later) he was out of ideas for me.We had set a $20 limit (since we’d just bought a house/had a baby!). I suggested maybe costume jewelry with the baby’s birthstone or something else sentimental. He ended up getting me a $250 ring w/ the baby’s birthstone. So it was a Xmas present but he went overboard a bit.
I don’t think something expensive is necessary but I DO think a card or flowers is a nice gesture to show that the SO appreciates her sacrifice. I had a rough pregnancy (vomiting 5-10x/day until 4 months, migraines, super swollen after 6 months), a 34 hr labor, a ton of stitches from a tear, and mastitis after a week of breastfeeding. I did all the newborn baby care/feeding myself and my husband did not really take care of me during my pregnancy because he has problems with depression/anxiety/sleep and he was going through a rough time. In any case, i think the father or SO should do something to show appreciation because,’like I said, the mother sacrifices a lot.
Post # 11
I’ll confess, I got one. I didn’t ask for one, and I was extremely touched. I collect Willow Tree figurines. The first present DH ever bought me was a wall hanging of a couple. We had a Willow Tree cake topper for our wedding cake. When I got pregnant, he gave me a pregnancy one. So after I delivered DD, he gave me this:
I had a horrific pregnancy with DD, and yes, DH was with me every single step of the way, but after 36 hours of labor, it was still nice to have him tell me “You’re amazing. Thank you.”
Post # 12
I’ve never heard of a push present. All I care is that my baby comes out healthy. That’s present enough for me!
Post # 13
I’ve heard of push presents
for me, like most gifts out there, it’s really only meaningful if the guy comes up with something on his own.
I think it’s not sweet at all when the wife asks for, or demands, a present for pushing the baby out and the husband does it so he doesn’t get in trouble. But if the husband does something sweet on his own, without the wife hinting, or sending emails with links to jewelry–then I’m all for it.
Post # 14
I jokingly told DH about this and it turns out people he work with have asked what he is doing. I’ve thrown ideas out there (I really want a nice charm bracelet with our birthstones, then babies birthstone), but we will see. I’m 37 weeks and a few days.
Honestly, if he didn’t do anything I’d be fine. I’ve had a really rough pregnancy (hyperemesis diagnosis at 8-9 weeks and still sick most days), so it would be a nice gesture for what I’ve gone through. While he’s been beside me, he definitely has done his share of complaining and making comments, but honestly, he just can’t comprehend what I am/was going through. I took care of most things around the house, plus we have two dogs, so when things went downhill at 6 weeks, he had to pickup so much slack.
Post # 15
I joked with my hubby about it..but i am due in april 10 days before my birthday!!! So i guess my baby boy will not only be my push present, but my birthday present as well ((: although i do want a james avery charm bracelet for my birthday (i had a fossil one, but the quality really sucked) & i think a cute baby charm & love charm would be adorable (: my husband is a very practical gift giver so i have to show him different things i want. I told him he could never go wrong with some type of jewelry, doesnt have to be anything expensive, for every occasion for the rest of my life (:
Post # 16
I will not be thinking of having children within the next 5-10 years, but..
I would think less of a woman asking for a “push present.” You have a baby shower for a reason, you don’t need to be congradulated and rewarded for getting pregnant and then going into labor.
@araneidae: But I can’t help but feel that just maybe I deserve a little something for my efforts and sacrifice!
But it’s a sacrifice you willingly and knowingly walked into. I’m not going to say people don’t deserve to be commended for such sacrifice… but really? You (Not you specifically, I am using this as a blanket term) think that just because your body won’t be the same you deserve gifts?
Seems a bit materialistic to me.