Post # 1
I teach high school and I’m currently about 9 weeks pregnant. This is my second child. I’ve miscarried before so I wanted to wait til around 14 weeks to announce the pregnancy. The only thing is, I’M ALREADY SHOWING! I’ve been showing for a few weeks enough to have kids start asking me am I pregnant. Of course, I lie to them and say no, then they feel bad for asking, then I feel bad for lying to them…. idk. This is crazy. Last time we were able to keep it a secret til about 14 or 15 weeks. So my question is, should I tell my kids and boss now since I’m showing so I can stop the questions/rumors? Or should I just wait for like 5 more weeks and keep lying to everyone?
By the way, the main reason why I feel I need to tell my boss is because I’m due at the beginning of next school year. I’m having a c-section (per doctors orders) so that will keep me out even longer.
Post # 3
@karmalkween: Congratulations! 🙂
It’s a bit of a difficult situation. I guess by telling people the truth, it does leave you risking telling them things have changed, but if it’s obvious enough that people are asking, I don’t see how you will last another 5 weeks! Women usually show more with their second/third pregnancies because their muscles are already stretched so they are bigger earlier (that’s what I’ve heard anyway) and I think if they are already talking about it, the rumours will probably spread around the bigger you get. Maybe your body isn’t going to let you keep the secret for much longer.
Post # 4
That’s a tough question. If you’re dead set against telling maybe focus on wearing loose fitting clothing so not as many people will notice or question ? Then when you do end up announcing you can let people know you lied just to make sure everything was going to be okay. People will understand.
I teach grade 2 and told my principal really early at like 6 weeks because I started to get sick and wanted her support. I told everyone else, including the students just after 12 weeks. They were so excited!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@karmalkween: CONGRATS!! SO EXCITING!!
High school teacher here! I work with tons of pregnant ladies and they usually tell the prinicipal around the 15 week mark- you want to give them a good heads up so they can think about hiring especially for Sept. You have many rights and your boss cannot punish you in any way.
If you wanted to tell them earlier and have their support like PP mentioned, that’s not a bad idea either! Anecdotally, one teacher told us (her colleagues), our boss and her students at 10 weeks and then miscarried. It was absolutely horrible for her. But then she had a perfectly healthy baby 12 months later!!!
In the meantime, maybe wear really flowy tops and scarfs to not put you in the ‘lying’ position?
Post # 6
@karmalkween: I agree with PP. Starting wearing loose fitting clothes. I wore loose cardigans and managed to keep my pregnancy a secret from my students until about 22 weeks. I told my boss at 13 weeks.
Post # 7
High School teacher here as well! I think if you want to hide it, I echo what others have said to focus on choosing clothing that will disguise your bump. Have you heard a heartbeat yet? I’ve never been pregnant, but I’ve seen other bees on her mention that they felt more comfortable sharing at that point, even if they weren’t at 12 weeks yet.
You could always do the “that’s a personal question” thing if the students ask, which might make you feel better about “lying” (which I wouldn’t feel guilty about anyway), and maybe teaches the students a little bit about what’s appropriate to ask.
Anecdotally, one of my coworkers lost her baby after she had already told pretty much everyone in the school. It was a really difficult time for her, and she was out of work for at least a week. One of our other coworkers went in and told her classes what had happened and I think honsetly in this situation it helped for the students to know, they were extra kind to her when she returned. Obviously this is a very personal decision and you know best how you would want to be supported if the worst were to happen.
Anyway, hopefully that’s a moot point, congratulations on your pregnancy!
Post # 8
I wouldn’t worry too much about giving your principle enough time to hire someone. I teach 9th grade math. I told my principle after I had an ultrasound at 12 weeks and saw that everything was looking good. I am 31 weeks pregnant now and they have still not done a job posting for my long term sub. I plan on being out the rest of the year, so they really need to get on it and hire someone good.
I told students around 14 weeks. People who knew me could tell I was starting to show, but it wasn’t obvious to anyone who didn’t know I was pregnant. I had planned on waiting longer to tell the kids, but my mom brought me something at school and left some baby sox on my desk and a kid saw them and asked about them. I decided to just tell them at that point instead of lie.
Post # 9
I heard the heartbeat (fhr was 176) a few days ago at about 8.5 weeks. What are chances of miscarriage once the hb is heard?
Post # 10
@karmalkween: I believe (but I may be wrong) that the risk of miscarriage after hearing the heartbeat drops to 5%. Someone may correct me, but that’s what I was told.
I’m 14 weeks and I’m a primary school teacher. I told my Principal really early, almost as soon as we found out, as there was a situation with a parent that was increasingly difficult and would have affected this year’s class placements. She was so helpful and understanding, I’m glad I told her. We broke up for our 6 week summer holiday on December 20 so I told the rest of the staff then, when I was almost 10 weeks. It was a risk, but we’d seen baby and the heartbeat twice by then and I was definitely showing – enough for people to have been talking amongst themselves. When school goes back I’ll be 15 weeks and there’s a definite bump there. I’ve spoken to my Principal and we’re sending a note home to tell the parents within the first few days. I’ve got a few camoflaging outfits lined up until they know but I think it’s pretty obvious. Good luck and congrautlations!!
Post # 11
You’ve got observant students! I guess that comes with high school, maybe? I’m definitely showing and didn’t have any students (out of 31) ask until last week which was 16 weeks! These are 3rd graders. They didn’t notice the art teacher, who they see once a week, was pregnant until was 26 week!
Anyway, cover until you’re ready to tell the students or answer “yes.”
I told my principal at 6 weeks as I was acting strange. I was having spotting and just had a mc the month before. I still haven’t done an official announcement to everyone. I let them ask me once they notice the belly, or ask someone who knows.