Post # 1
Does anyone else’s pastor not marry anyone unless they go through some sort of premarital counseling first? what are your thoughts?
I absolutely LOVE our pastor for this, i never would have thought of it on my own and it is such a great thing to do! We have only gone once and it has already brought stuff to our attention that will hopefully help us when we are married. I can’t wait to go tomorrow =)
Post # 3
Yeah, it looks like we’re going to go through premarital counseling with our pastor as well. I’m really anxious about it as I have NO idea what to expect, so it’s really nice to hear your first session went so well!
Post # 4
All Catholic weddings require it I believe. 🙂
Post # 5
I didn’t know that, i’ve never known too many catholic people, that is awesome =)
It is kinda hard… my demons were lashing at me almost the whole time ;), you just have to remember that it is to help you, not to make you feel bad or anything. it was kinda embarrassing to be called on some stuff and have it out in the open but it was relieving too.
Post # 6
yep! its a requirement for us since we are getting married in the catholic church. we have to have a few meetings with the priest as well as take a class they call pre cana. we did our last saturday and it was great, i was really anxious at first but it was an amazing experience and def brought FI and I even closer together. i highly recommend some sort of pre marital counseling to all engaged couples. 🙂
Post # 7
It’s a requirement our pastor had for us too. We’ve had 2 out of 7 sessions thus far. It’s pretty interesting for us because FI is not religious at all. If anything he may be agnostic. I have a pretty average belief, but don’t attend church regularly.
The first session was a little bit of getting to know you and a discussion about money.
The second session we talked about our Personality test results. Prior to the first session he had us both complete a Meyers-Briggs inventory. Apparently FI and I are as opposite as they come. He’s an ISTJ and I’m and ENFP. He was perplexed.
At our next session we’ll have a discssion about Love vs Respect. After that we’ll take some game show sort of test regarding the little things that come up when living together. the following sessions will be about the ceremony.
It’s been good so far. Really has brought out some discussions for us.
Post # 8
It wasn’t required by the pastor marrying us (a close friend and not who we see on a week-to-week basis) but actually by my parents. We ended up doing a 6 week class with our church and then another 6 week program with a Christian family ministry in town. While neither were completely one on one, they were helpful and we made some great friend who are going through the same things. We had aired our dirty laundry earlier in our relationship so it was very affirming that we were doing the right thing.
Post # 9
We did it. Ours was required by our church but performed by another pastor. It was a full day event with several couples. I think it was helpful and there have definitely been times that I’ve thought back to things we talked about in our pre-marital counseling. At the same time, there was definitely nothing life changing about it.
Post # 10
We’re almost done with ours. It was actually pretty fun! We have 7 sessions altogether, and we have 2 more to go before March.
We talked about our families/upbringing, communication, expectations, money, sex, how to relate to our families/friends after marriage, and our wedding ceremony. Most stuff was practical or stuff we’d heard or talked about before. It was fun to hang out with our pastor and talk about us!
Post # 11
Catholic here too! I think its a great requirement.
Post # 12
not a requirement, but my parents offered to pay for us to go through an 8 -week “prepare to last” class, so we went!
We then asked that pastor that was teaching to marry us, and he has since been seeing us every other week as a christian/marriage counseling session.
I find that they’ve been really helpful to our relationship!
Post # 13
I think its ridiculous for a requirement. It should be the couple’s choice because if you have already committed to each other and decided to do whatever you can to prepare for your lives together, it should be your choice to attend premarital counseling. Don’t misunderstand this, I’m totally for premarital counseling. However, I think it serves a deeper purpose for those who truly want the benefit and not just attend because they have to.
Post # 14
@parchedpickle: I agree. For those who aren’t interested, it won’t help at all. It’s like teaching a brick wall!
Post # 15
wow they all sound so different from ours, we are going from a book and its basically all about what marriage was made for and how we can serve and glorify God though our marriage. by that i don’t mean its saying be married and do it for God but it has different scriptures saying what God wanted in marriage and that our relationship is a reflection on how our walk with God is. and he is teaching us things we can do and say to each other when we are having problems. I love hearing about other peoples experiences =) it’s great to know more people do this!
Post # 16
I haven’t heard of a church that doesn’t require it. Everyone usually has to do some sort of weekend retreat or premarital counseling if they are getting married in a church.