Weddingbee boards

Hi Bees!

My FI and I are finishing up on the premarital counseling workbook our Pastor suggested - Saving You Marriage Before it Starts. We really enjoyed going through the workbooks together, especially since our Pastor is on the opposite coast so we can't really do face to face meetings with him. I will say if you are looking for a book, we did enjoy ours, somethings were a little dated, and if you are thinking of buying the set (book and 2 workbooks) we hardly read the main book bc it was summarized in the workbook.  

 Anyway we still have 6 months till the wedding and we are thinking of trying another book or workbook.  Did any of you use something for your premarital counseling that you enjoyed or thought was especially helpful for you and your FI, that I could check out?  

So when we (I should emphasize "I" as in me) researched pre-marital counseling... I happened to fall on a workshop completed in San Fran: marriageprep101. They had some sort of link to a relationship study- which included a free home booklet program. So we turned in our info- to see if we would get the free booklet (and signed up for the workshop in case we didn't get into the relationship study. There were other perks too like a gift certificate to Amazon.com)

Well we got lucky and got the home product as well. It included a cheesy Aussie cd/video with two booklets (one for me and one for him). It was a self directd six wk program where you 'explore' various issues that have been researched and proven to be the main indicators of what contributes to a lasting relationship: *Relationship goals and self change, *Communication, *Fun and mutual support *Managing differences *Intimacy and Sexuality *Managing Change. It was called Couple Care. Prior to signing up for the workshop, prior to getting into the whole pre-marital class research- I had no idea this existed.

It was nice because between the workshop and the home product, it directed us on things we should be strengthening, discussing, and even evaluating our past experiences (like how we view our parents marriage or our friends) and how we can impact our own relationship proactively.

Books that our pastor suggested to us:

The Marriage Book by the same couple who does the Alpha Course

For Women Only / For Men Only

Five Love Languages

Sheet Music

There was another one, but I can't remember it. I hope that helps!

I highly recommend John Gottman's "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."  They actually come from Gottman's research of thousands of couples (both successful marriages and divorces) over a period of fifteen years.  Some of the advice is unconventional (sometimes it's not about communication -- it's about de-escalation).  But it really is a great book.