Premartial Counseling?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsMiller2Be127:  We did it and we found it to be extremely valuable. We talked about issues that every couple should discuss before getting married. It was worth it!

Post # 4
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsMiller2Be127:  I think it is a good idea. We did it, and loved it. While we have great communication there was still things to discuss and just make sure we are on the same page.

Post # 5
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I say so it! It cant hurt and if it does then should shouldn’t marry the person anyway.  Sad but true! Plus you learn effective ways to communicate, every couple will fight eventually and knowing how to talk to each other is really important.

Post # 6
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t see the point–I’ve looked over the lists of questions they ask and it’s all stuff that we’ve discussed.

Post # 7
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsMiller2Be127:  We had to rabbi shop for a reform rabbi as we wanted to get married before sundown on a saturday night.

I wouldn’t call it counseling.  But I think it is pretty standard across the board for rabbis to do this.

We’ve had 3 meetings and have 1 more to go.

1st meeting – Rabbi mailed us 30 questions to answers about a variety of topics, marriage, children, money, social life, judaism, etc. At the first meeting we discussed all of our answers.

2nd meeting – discussed ceremony, traditions we would like to include or not include, the order of ceremony, and everything else pertaining to the ceremony including  tish and ketubbah signing. we practiced the hebrew phrase that we will say to each other.

3rd meeting – our mothers joined us (both of our fathers have passed) so the rabbi could meet our mothers as well and dicscuss any concerns or questions

4th meeting (we will have this a few weeks before the wedding) – just to go over all the details and make sure everything will run smoothly. 

we pay a flat fee for the rabbi to marry us which includes these 4 sessions.

as far as actual counselling, we did not have that.

 

Post # 8
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it’s a great idea and my SO and I will be participating in premarital counseling because that’s a requirement in my church. 

Post # 9
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wouldn’t shell out money for a list of questions I can google on the internet.

Post # 10
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsMiller2Be127:  We did the remarital counseling course. I was not looking forward to it because i felt like we had discussed all these things already. And while we had, we had never sat down and just discussed “us” for hours on end. It was really special, just in that it forced you to spend hours with no other topics on your plate besides your relationship. We had a lot of fun with it. 🙂

If money is tight, dont go for it. Yet, “googling” it is not the same, becuase inevitably you end up talking about work, the pets, chores, the broken sink….lol. Normal stuff that is in your daily life. Versus if you are somewhere seperate, it keeps you more “on task” in a way. 

Post # 11
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Why not? I say do it if you are both willing. I’m not close to getting married as yet but it is something to do together.

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